To think DM being inconsiderate because she's not getting her own way?

[Ilovecoleslaw]

Start of night shift tonight for 3 nights. Stayed awake last night so I could sleep today to be prepared for it.
DB9 has norovirus. DM meant to look at kitchens today with DF.
DM asked me to look after DB while they were out, and stay in the living room with him. (Would be 10-2) Living room bright and loud tv, so wouldn't easily be able to sleep, but said he could stay whilst I was home sleeping in my room. Plus I don't want to risk getting the bug myself as i work in healthcare.
DM states I'm being ridiculous and I've already been exposed to bug so won't make a difference if I'm nearer to him (started being in sick in night, have had no contact with him since yesterday) and I can sleep in the living room.
I refused and again said, I'll need to sleep in my room cause light and noise, also I can't risk being ill.
DM said really harshly that DF would have to go on his own and she now appears to be banging really loudly in the kitchen so I can't sleep anyway. (She's never normally loud).
Aibu to be really pissed off she's making so much noise, because I refused to look after my brother on her conditions?

For context, I'm 21 and saving for a mortgage, nightshift is 7-7.30. Not looking for answers of move out if you don't like it, both Dm and Df actively want me to save for a mortgage, as do i rather than renting.
I also regularly look after him when their busy, i have no problem doing so normally.
I have also had 2 hours sleep before she woke me up so i may not be completely rational right now.

I think you're both being a bit unreasonable.

Why on earth have you given yourself a poor nights sleep before a night shift? Maybe stay up a bit late the night before and then grab a couple of extra hours the afternoon before your shift if you can but you've purposefully deprived yourself of many hours of quality sleep which seems a bit crazy. I did 12 years in a shift working environment and not come across anyone trying to do that before. Though most people I know would also have things to do the day before a night shift so wouldn't be able to give up a day to sleeping.

She is BU by thinking a 9 yr old needs someone in the same room as them for 4 hours. Just having a grown up in the house should be fine. TBH I'd rather he were confined to his room rather than spreading his germs about the house. If she's in the kitchen, she's not in the same room as him anyway.

You should have just said yes fine to her, let them go out then both you and DB could have had some peace and quiet in whichever room you choose.

I think she's being U. Parents shouldn't use older children for free childcare. They made the choice to have a baby not you.

You need to rethink your sleeping pattern - you don't stay awake before a night shift when you aren't working.

It's hard when you're working nights and the rest of the household isn't, and a 9 year old does not need one to one supervision.

However, your idea of staying up the night before was a bad one. You will NEVER sleep as well in the day as during the night.

Best thing to do before a first night shift is try and get an afternoon nap. I always used to do some exercise then eat a carb heavy meal and that sent me into a nice doze for a couple of hours.

I've been doing night shifts for the past 3 years, and it's honestly the only thing that makes me feel refreshed and ready for my shift.
I've tried only having an afternoon nap, but i then get exhausted by 3/4am and don't function as well.
It works for me and everyone's different, and also wasn't the point of this thread, but thanks for your suggestions.

Well, if you've been doing night shifts for the past 3 years and you won't move out, then suck it up. It's not your house.

YANBU your mum is.

I think they are taking the piss actually cause you say you do a lot of babysitting for them so to me the "stay at home and save for a mortgage" is translating as "stay at home and provide us free childcare"

You are not there to provide them with childcare they chose to have your DB and he's their responsibility not yours especially when your on nightshift.

I know you don't want to but if you could I would move out and rent I think that would be the best option for all.

You are going to get a lot of you should babysit because people on mumsnet are very entitled and think their older children should babysit for them when in reality no your shouldn't.

You will also be told to change your sleeping habit but you use the sleeping pattern that works for you no1 else just because someone does it one way doesn't mean it will work for you. They will give advice on this despite it not even being your question.

Hope you get some sleep and your mum stops slamming about but at end of the day she shouldn't have had another child in the view she would get you to watch them whenever she liked.

YMUMIBU but it's your own fault for expecting a household that isn't yours to tip toe around your night shifts.

If you insist on staying at home buy earplugs and a light reducing eye mask

Of course your mother is being unreasonable. It's not "your" house in that sense, but as your parents are encouraging you to live at home and save for a mortgage rather than rent, you're not exactly imposing on them. And FFS you're their daughter! They should show you a bit of consideration.

Night shifts are tough. I'll bet if you were banging around in the middle of the night preventing the day workers from getting any sleep there would be an outcry.

Sugarcoma - I think she's being U. Parents shouldn't use older children for free childcare. They made the choice to have a baby not you.

THIS ^^ with bells and whistles on.

Youthinrevolt - YMUMIBU but it's your own fault for expecting a household that isn't yours to tip toe around your night shifts.

What?! The OP doesn't want anyone ''tiptoe ing'' round her. She just wants to sleep in her own room

What suggestions are you looking for OP. The only suggestion is to move out but you don't want that. I mean vent away all you want but there isn't anything anyone can suggest other than tow the line or move out.