Was this a normal counselling session?

[PopcornBits]

I had my first counselling session today and I've come away feeling a bit disappointed.
I'm not sure if this is a typical NHS counselling session so I hope someone can shed some light.

Basically she spent 50 minutes yawning through the entire session. I caught her several times staring at something behind me on the floor, whatever it was, seemed like it was distracting her.
She kept "losing her train of thought" which she repeatedly kept saying every time she was trying to think of the counselling regulations they have to warn you about before you proceed.
During the session she spent about 30 seconds saying "hmm yeah, yep, hmm" repeatedly to herself whilst I was sat saying nothing.

By the end of session she asked me what was it that I was actually trying to find... I was a bit confused by this, because I thought counsellors were supposed to help understand emotions and why you feel the way you do.

The session as a whole felt like I was talking to someone who was disinterested and didn't take me seriously.
Baring in mind that the issue I was talking about needs to be reported to the police so not something trivial.

Basically I need to know whether that is normal for a counsellor? I'm not sure if she was just having a bad day, she certainly didn't seem like she should of been doing any counselling that day.

AIBU to cancel my next session and not bother going again?

No thats not normal, you can complain and ask to see someone else but you might have to wait again.

YWBU to give up on counselling. But no, that behaviour doesn't sound normal or as if you've got a good therapist. Even though it's NHS it doesn't mean you have to accept a therapist who's not right for you.

My DH struggled through 4 sessions with a counsellor who he just couldn't get on with - he didn't feel listened to, the therapist kept focussing on issues which just were not the problem, he mucked up appointment times and blamed my DH etc and was hopeless. DH spoke to his GP who re-referred him to a different therapist who was marvellous and really helpful. Stick with the counselling but do ask for a different therapist and explain why. 💐

Also user that's simply not true. Talking to a trained counsellor is NOTHING like talking to a friend in a room.

I went through 2 Popcornbits. First one standard NHS for anxiety, referred by doctor. Just listened but was pretty useless. Then realised the anxiety was a symptom rather than the main issue and researched online and took recommendations. Like you I disclosed things that could have been a police matter and needed someone specialised in that area. She had real proven techniques and experience in things such as complex PTSD and other disorders. She knew her stuff. Don't give up. Not all counsellors are equal.

Sounds extremely unprofessional and disappointing OP.
Hope you are able to find a councillor who is more empathetic to your specific needs.
Good luck.

God, how awful. You could get that amount of interest from someone who happened to be sitting next to you on a bus.
Ditch her; but do find someone else.

Definately not professional behaviour, but better than the psychiatrist I saw for a while who farted regularly and loudly, answered the phone mid session and wanted to use my case for her Transactional Analysis Training without considering whether it was what I needed! She also had be attending out of clinic hours then kept me waiting half an hour anyway. After three sessions I stopped going.

My friend and aunt both had terrible experiences with NHS counselling. My friend said that it actually made her feel worse. I would definitely ask to see someone else and raise those issues as to why you want to change.

So you don't need to be registered with BACP or they do?

I know her name, I just tried to search her on the BACP register and nothing is showing up.

Slightly concerned as this was a self referral through Derbyshire mental health talk.

They allocated her to me, I assumed that she would be registered.

Sorry Iris that sounds horrible.
I can't believe how unprofessional people can be.

It's worrying, and doesn't help put your trust in other counsellors when things like this happen.

I'm an NHS counsellor - please pass your experience on to the counsellor's place of work and to BACP. None of what you have described sounds like acceptable practice, and you could be sparing some other client from getting a shitty service by raising your concerns now.

I would urge you not to give up on counselling, in this situation the service I work in would allocate you another counsellor asap and we are honestly not all so crap (some of us are awesome). You wouldn't write off the entire medical profession because you had seen one crap Dr, please persevere, good counselling can be life changing and you deserve to experience that. All the best.

My therapist isn't on that list, but know for definite that she's qualified. She is on the BPC register though.

I have been seeing my therapist privately for 2 years now, best thing I ever did was going private.

Sorry, xposted. You don't have to be registered with BACP to call yourself a counsellor, it's not a protected title, but anyone who is registered with BACP (or a few less well known equivalent bodies) has had their qualifications and competed checked and can be called to account for poor practice. If you accessed an unregistered counsellor through an agency, I'd be having some concerns about the agency's processes, do they have a published minimum standard of qualification or experience for their staff? Doesn't sound great.

DH and I have both been referred to NHS counselling in our time and both found it utter utter crap. We went private, to a place that uses (closely supervised) students (hence rather cheaper than most, no way we could've afforded otherwise). They were absolutely brilliant. Please don't give up, counselling's a job like anything else and you'll get good ones and bad ones. Keep going until you find the right one for you. And trust yourself - if someone isn't working for you don't go back.

Report her. They will be interested to hear how she behaved, I'm sure. How awful.

That answers a lot.

I can't report to BACP as she doesn't appear to be on there.
So I can only contact the service that has referred me really and I'll never know whether the complaint has been dealt with.

I'll give them a call tomorrow.

Thanks everyone.

I think it would be worth contacting her and asking if a) she was on some kind of sedative medication or b) if she found your case so terribly boring that she couldn't concentrate to listen or give a shit, perhaps she's in the wrong industry. (She could work for a telephone customer service company instead with her attitude.) Let her know you found her attitude both unprofessional and demoralizing and this is why you have decided to seek other help. Put that in writing AND send it to her the referring body. She sounds bloody dangerous.

Shocking OP. I hope you find a really good one. Don't give up.

I have just finished six sessions of counselling and had six sessions a few years ago too for a different reason I found both lots of sessions very helpful but remember they are not there to solve issues for you they are there to help you come to your own resolution ,my last lot of counselling was due to a traumatic set of circumstances that affected my family a couple of years ago and it gave me an opportunity to talk it through my counsellor just listened though she didn't say much but that was fine with me .

I'm a CBT therapist in IAPT and in private practice. To me that sounds unacceptable and the client in front of us should be treated with respect. Whether a person is receiving counselling or CBT the therapeutic relationship is key to a successful outcome. I would feedback to the clinical lead for the IAPT service you've been referred to. My clinical lead would want to know about your experience! Though there isn't a lot of wiggle room in IAPTthey should be able to find you another counsellor. I wouldn't just not turn up or they'll likely discharge you back to your GP and you'll go to the end of the queue!

I'd expect a counsellor to be not just a member of the BACP but also accredited by them; if not accredited then Her status should be made clear. For CBT I have to be accredited by the BABCP and this demonstrates that I have post graduated training and have been through the wringer producing case studies and having ongoing stringent clinical supervision. It's so important because the accreditation process for these organisation filters out a lot (but not all) of the less good therapists. Don't give up on it because there are some truly excellent therapists in the NHS (though constrained by the sessions we can offer). I used to be a CBT therapist in a branch of MIND (who sometimes work in conjunction with IAPT), they offered some low cost counselling on their premises and they were really very good; it may be worth looking into that.

Hi popcorn

I am a counsellor in NHS, this doesn't sound great at all . In my team clients can ask to see someone else, don't even have to give a reason.

Regarding the registration query. There are a number of organisations that could potentially register and accredit counsellors.
The BACP is one, but there are others such as UKCP and if a CBT counsellor, then BABCP.

In my area, counsellors are required to have a postgraduate diploma/masters plus accreditation, which involves at least 450 hours of supervised practice. By the end of that, you should be able to maintain appropriate eye contact!

In all seriousness, counsellors are just like anyone else, some are better at their jobs than others. Don't accept anything less than you deserve. There are excellent counsellors out there.

I think you need to ask for someone else. I know it's awkward, but really regret not doing that when twice I didn't click with counsellors. The right ones I've found really helpful.

So please do ask - you need to get the most out of it to help you.

What I was trying to say I needed to talk in my last lot of counselling and I told my counsellor that I was also assessed prior to having my counselling and told them what I needed someone listening to me talk through my issues really helped me but she was empathetic too I agree with others though find another counsellor.

My counsellor used to look st the floor behind me. He explained that he has a time for each session rather than a clock so occasionally was checking it, I looked and it was there, still found it bloody annoying though!

Irishe thank you. I have found her on one of the other registers you named.

I hope I didn't come across as tarring all therapists with the same brush as I know everyone is individual, I just needed to know whether my experience was normal, clearly it wasn't.
I'll be calling them tomorrow to let them know how the session went and that I'll be finding a different counsellor.

I think it's best that I do my research rather than being allocated a counsellor.