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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not talk to DP when he gets home?

17 replies

FluffyPotato · 31/07/2017 21:15

DP and I live in an apartment with his cousin. They both work in a family business with their cousins. A few nights a week we will all eat out and if they go straight after work as usual, DP usually sends me a text as they're cleaning up shop to go meet them (we live in city centre so only round the corner from work/restaurants).

This morning DP took my keys so I had none which also has the fob to key through numerous locked doors to access our building. I had to wait out as he has boxing on Mondays till half 8 till he'd be home so I could get in. No reply to ringing up the apartment. So I call him, phone dead. Call his cousin to see where they are.

They're only in a fcking restaurant while I'm locked out which he knew and didn't bother to text or have his cousin text where they where. I'm more pissed that we obviously eat together every night and he's gone for a meal and not invited me.

I had to go to the restaurant and get the keys and leave again so I could get home.

AIBU to ignore him when he gets in? And also sulk that I've not eaten because I was locked out and not invited to eat

OP posts:
fc301 · 31/07/2017 21:50

If he knew you were locked out YANBU.

FluffyPotato · 31/07/2017 23:07

He's still not home Angry

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 31/07/2017 23:11

Well if you're still sulking now about not eating then it's two hours later so you could have fixed yourself something.

If you live in the city centre and only a short distance from where he was eating then I fail to see why this is a big deal, especially because you said you eat out together a lot and knew this is the area where he'd be.

FluffyPotato · 31/07/2017 23:12

It's more not even getting the invite. It's rude to make arrangements and not tell me when we live together why he'll be out past 11 Hmm

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 31/07/2017 23:16

If you're only "around the corner" I don't know why this is such an issue. Either invite yourself (it can't be pushy seeing as you live with his cousin and that's who he was eating with) and if they want to eat alone then go back to the apartment that's around the corner and get something to eat Hmm

gamerchick · 31/07/2017 23:18

Well he probably knows he's going to get earache which is why he's stopped out.

Don't be passive aggressive, it's childish. Go and have something to eat and go to bed.

Yes he's been a knob though, he doesn't get to take your keys in future.

FluffyPotato · 31/07/2017 23:29

Just strolled in and they've brought all the lads back to stay! They only all live round the corner! Tele turned on, loud chatting already. I'm fuming

OP posts:
mrscropley · 31/07/2017 23:31

Sneak to box and switch electricity off. ...

HeddaGarbled · 31/07/2017 23:34

Yeah, you are right to be fuming. He's actually been actively nasty to you today - taking your keys, leaving you locked out, not including you in the meal when he usually does. What's going on, had you had a disagreement and he's punishing you?

FluffyPotato · 31/07/2017 23:45

Literally no disagreement. the taking of the keys wasn't intentional but he still knew I didn't have them. Has come to bed all hugs and kisses. So annoying

OP posts:
Migraleve · 31/07/2017 23:49

He is being a dick there is no doubt about that, however you WBU not to talk to him. What dos that achieve?

Migraleve · 31/07/2017 23:50

Ooops missed the update

Definitely BU not to talk to him. I would be shouting by now Wink

FluffyPotato · 01/08/2017 00:04

He knows I'm not happy so he's Rolled over! HA!

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Maelstrop · 01/08/2017 00:07

Controlling no stupid to not talk. Communication is key, but I would be raging that he'd taken my keys, locked me out and not arsed himself to say "Come to...., we're going to eat" .inconsiderate at best, selfish wanker at worst.

MissionItsPossible · 01/08/2017 00:53

So he brought all the lads back to stay and they were all being loud watching TV at a loud volume being chatty but then in the next fifteen minutes he's in bed kissing and hugging you and then fifteen minutes after that he's rolling over and going to sleep? Where have his mates gone? Sounds fake.

Fishbiscuits · 01/08/2017 02:12

As OP has said they live in an apartment with her DPs cousin, maybe the mates are still there chatting loudly with the cousin? Her DP left them to it, went to bed and tried being lovely dovey but got nowhere with it so rolled over to go to sleep. Doesn't sound that implausible to me.
OP your DP was clearly out of order taking your keys, but I don't think sulking and the silent treatment is the answer. Sounds like you both need to communicate with each other better.

FluffyPotato · 01/08/2017 16:56

@Fishbiscuits that's exactly what happened. They carry on even if ones gone to bed. Used to happen all the time but not so much anymore. I'm fine today as I knew I would be. Just annoyed last night

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