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Original poster

to not like my dd to say "hate" or "stupid" ???

18 replies

cleaninglady · 27/03/2007 19:32

my dd is 5 1/2 and lets say "challenging" at the moment she seems to have adopted a surly teenagers attitude rather earlier than i expected but we are managing it anyway , one thing I do seem to pull her up on at least one or twice a week is her using "hate" or "stupid" as part of her every day vocabularly. Is this necessary or am i being over the top? She has had about 3 playdates here after school in the last few weeks and 2 of those children use these words just as the norm - should i give up and fight more important battles with her?!?!?!?

OP posts:
misdee · 27/03/2007 19:34

hate is a banned word it this house. stupid is ok as long as you arent callign someone stupid, ie putting furntiure togetehr and gettuing frustrated i am allowed to scream 'stupid thing'

BettySpaghetti · 27/03/2007 19:38

My 2 yr old DS has unfortunately picked up those words from his 7 yr old sister and her friends. They seem to use them quite frequently at that 5+ age.

I pull him up on it all the time and give him alternatives eg if he says "I hate Barnaby Bear" I say "Do you mean you're not keen on Barnaby Bear?" and remind his sister that they're not nice words to use if I hear her saying them.

However at the same time I realise theres a lot worse he could be picking up and saying !

kookaburra · 27/03/2007 20:08

We call'stupid' the 'S' word, and they lose a star if they use it. Same with 'boring' the 'b' word. Didn't yet have the 'h' word, but I think that could usefully be added to the prohinited words

DeviousDaffodil · 27/03/2007 20:10

HAte is a big word here at the moment and I find it really upsetting when the DS's tell each other they hate each other.
I don't like the word stupid, and fat isn't tolerated either.
DS1 has been telling DS2 he is fat, and noww DS2 is refusing to wear certain clothes because they make him look fat.

paulaplumpbottom · 27/03/2007 20:10

I won't allow my DD to use these words either. You are not being unreasonable. Don't worry about what other parents let their kids say, you know whats best for your daughter.

gemmiegoatlegs · 27/03/2007 20:13

i think these words have just as much of a place on the banned list as any swear words...my ds found "stupid" through Spud from bob the builder and has been using it to us and dd. I don't think it is becoming for children so young to talk that way so i have issued one of my evil, trailing "or else..." threats.

Original poster
cleaninglady · 27/03/2007 20:21

good! im not an over the top mother then! i just dont like the words especially from young children !!! i will continue my quest to constantly go on at dd and hope it all sinks in eventually todays playdate's mum hardly knows me as I dont see her much at school but quite happily let me collect her daughter without taking my address or phone number even though i offered it ( i asked for hers) and then when i got there at 6.30pm to drop her off as agreed, didnt turn up till 7.00pm

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 27/03/2007 23:33

Totally reasonable. I put those two words on the same list as all the other 4 letter words my kids are not allowed to say. I just tell them that that's not a word that it's ok to use in this house. I also try to add a little speech about saying positive, instead of negative things.

SofiaAmes · 27/03/2007 23:36

Parents who don't care where their children are drive me crazy. My stepkids would come to visit us for the weekend with their friends and no parent ever called to find out who we were, where we were, or what our rules were!! And we lived a 2 hour drive from stepkids. And for all they knew their children were going to visit a single man.....

jura · 27/03/2007 23:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryMarigold · 27/03/2007 23:38

i was not allowed to say 'hate' with people. i still feel very guilty when i even THINK 'i hate you'. i think it is an excellent rule. 'stupid' and 'boring' are just words used when kids don't like something. not sure if i will ban it, but they will need to explain WHY they said that ie. a decent reason why something/ someone is stupid or boring - and hopefully they will be too irritated to keep saying.

MerryMarigold · 27/03/2007 23:38

we were also banned 'shut up' which i will definitely be banning too

jellybellynally · 28/03/2007 00:29

totally agree about 'hate' and 'stupid'. both yucky words and not allowed in our house

Hillary · 28/03/2007 00:30

Band in this house too...

Soapbox · 28/03/2007 00:31

You've forgotton 'idiot' and 'shut up' from your list

SugarmagEatsMatzah · 28/03/2007 07:19

We don't like these words either (DD 6, DS 3 1/2) - although there is a little bit of leeway because like you said there are bigger battles to fight.

For example, I won't tolerate them saying they hate another person but if it's used in reference to say, brussel sprouts, I might just let it pass (actually DD quite likes sprouts, it's me that "dislikes them intensely!"). Same with stupid - we try and use the word silly instead. Like if one of them is doing something they shouldn't and ends up getting hurt we'll say it was a "silly" thing to do, not dumb or stupid.

twentypence · 28/03/2007 07:21

Ds is allowed to say that he hates having a suppository in.

Other than that hate and stupid are both banned - adults and children.

Thcc · 09/04/2023 23:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Previously banned poster.

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