5 yr old refusing to swallow certain foods

[Collienova]

Shamelessly posting for traffic because we're worried...

I'm at my wits ends with my DD and I'm getting concerned. She started a few days ago to chew her food for ages, but then says she cannot swallow it and spits it out. She says she's worried about choking, but there has been nothing that could've triggered that. My DH and I disagree slightly on how to approach it: he thinks because she's happy to eat sweet things like ice cream and jelly, she's just making this up and he wants to impose sanctions until she eats properly again. But basically we're both at a loss. There have been some changes in her life recently: DS was born a month ago, but she adores him, she finished her reception year and she recently stopped wearing pull ups at night, but she is doing well with that and no accidents. Has anyone experienced anything like that or has any ideas on what to try?

I wouldn't be as quick as your DH to say she's having you on. I wonder if she's worried about something unrelated to food- any of the changes you mention could be worrying her- and anxiety can manifest as a 'lump in the throat' feeling. it could be that jelly and ice cream are an easy to eat texture, or that they're served cold, that makes it easier for her to eat them. When I'm anxious I find I can only stomach sweet foods, it seems to be a survival instinct, if I am barely eating better make it something calorie dense!

You could try offering her other soft and easy to eat foods- mashed potato, baked beans, plain yoghurt, soft fruits, soup...

I definitely wouldn't go down the route of sanctions for not eating, you don't want it to become a control issue.

Another thought- has she been ill or under the weather? A sore throat could make it unpleasant to eat, and she may not be able to describe the feeling to you.

I agree with the above. No punishment, offer a range of soft, savory foods (rather than sweets and treats).

Dont make a fuss, don't cajole, don't fight with your dh about it, and don't stress that she's not eating enough. All of these things are hard to do but ultimately they will make matters worse.

Serve food as normal, clear the table after a set amount of time, without comment on what she has or hasn't eaten. Praise whatever has been eaten without mentioning specific food (well done did you enjoy that?). If you are serving pudding, serve ones that require some chewing even if it's relatively soft. Don't withhold food from her as punishment but do stop snacking on nice non chewy foods between meals. You don't have to make a fuss, just say not now it's almost dinner/lunch time.

Don't ask her what she wants to eat, make small but appetising plates of food that you know she likes and tell her it's time to eat.

In short, just try not to make a fuss or it will quickly become all consuming for you and her. Matter of fact normality is the way to go.

Good luck

Thank you! She seems to be ok with yoghurt and we're trying soup tomorrow. I'm thinking of getting her checked out by the GP just to rule out any throat issues.

DH seems to be coming round because she's genuinely trying to swallow and gets upset if she can't. Dinner took ably an hour and a half tonight of her just working herself through a chicken pie (which she asked for).

I did think the changes mentioned made her anxious, but she's adamant that there is nothing worrying her. She'd normally tell us if something is up, but she might not be able to verbalise what's bothering her. She was also worried about monsters at bedtime and asked for several lights to be on.

I would give her teeny tiny portions, sometimes if I don't feel like eating a plateful can seem daunting. And as pp have said don't mention it, it doesn't sound like she is doing it on purpose but if you ignore it as far as possible she might forget.

It could be 'silent' tonsilitis. This is exactly how it presented with me - no fever or sore throat, just an incredibly stiff uncormfortable feeling I couldn't describe. A GP visit is definitely a good idea.

Does she describe a physical feeling in her throats or does she fear in her head that she won't be able to swallow? Have you asked her that? Seems a key difference to try to figure out.

I'll definitely check about 'silent' tonsillitis! Thank you. I've only asked her whether anything in her mouth or throat hurts, but I think it is s good suggestion to ask whether it feels different. Based on her answer that it didn't hurt I'd assumed that it was in her head.

Saw the GP today and there is no physical issue and she advised offering liked foods for a week or so and see how it goes. Fingers crossed!

I agree about giving her plenty of leeway about what she does and doesn't eat, there are a lot of major changes in her life just now.

Something that you might try is to serve vegetable puree, not just to DD but to all of you, carrots, peas, broad beans, beetroot for instance, all make delicious puree as the flavout is really released. It's quick and easy, you can do it in advance and reheat briefly. Maybe serve one puree and one ordinary veg at a meal for texture.

I've had this feeling a few times recently after being in hospital, unable to sit up, for over a week in between operations. Doesn't help that pineapple made an attempt on my life a few weeks prior. Is she sitting up enough, e.g at the table? If she's reclining on the sofa like some families do to eat meals, she could be sceptical because of that.

This happened to me as a child. I choked on some spaghetti once and for about a month or two I chewed everything too much and was unable to swallow anything that was noodle shaped.

I was given only soup for this time (its the only thing I would eat). I eventually grew out of it but spaghetti is something I have a small issue with still, I break it up in the pan and it still gets chewed a lot (not that I have it a lot because I just don't like to eat it that much now).

Nutrition wise, you can get all you need from Soups, Smoothies and Milkshakes, if she's the type of child to like green drinks, you can put Kale in with Banana etc.

They are also foods that a five year old can get involved in making.

Gradually the soups can get thicker.

Thanks everyone! She's having lunch at grandma and grandad's at the moment, but it sounds like it's the same as at home. We're trying soup tonight and I think I'll try out the purees.

My son used to struggle with certain textures of food, they made him gip. If pushed to eat it he would promptly vomit. My husband had no sympathy, and learnt the hard way that he wasn't putting it on for attention (puked all over everyone's dinner in a restaurant!)
He's ten now, and in the main has got much better, and eats a balanced diet.
It will come in time, but get it checked out, make sure there are no physical issues.

My DS1 had trouble with anything that required a lot of chewing, he wouldn't eat beef, would chew and chew and eventually spit it out. DD1 had problems with texture, particularly jelly, she still doesn't eat it as an adult.

I would advice against making it a battleground DS2 and DD2 were being forced to finish their school lunches at school. DS2 refused to eat anything at home, even his favourites. I had to switch to packed lunches to get him to eat.

At five, your DD might be having problems with her deciduous teeth too, lots of young children have problems with chewing meat, as their teeth just don't work very well with meat.

She might like milk jelly or soft boiled egg chopped up (egg-in-a-cup!) served with bread and butter triangles.

I went through this with my DS when he was little. We have no idea what caused it, from the age of 4 he got worse and worse, he could chew a small spoonful of ice cream and still have difficulty swallowing it.

This was still happening with all food when he was around 8 and mealtimes had become very stressful for everyone at the table and I admit I did shout at him a couple of times in utter frustration.

I finally decided to try not making such an issue about food, he was still growing at a normal height and weight so he was obviously getting enough nutrients somehow.

I can't remember exactly when it stopped, I think it was a gradual thing but it was still happening to a certain degree when he was around 10 (sorry 😟)

He remained cautious about food for a long time and would refuse to try anything new and would decide he didn't like something just by looking at it ... he still ate well but wasn't adventurous in the slightest.

By the time he left for university at 18 he was still not great with some foods, he wouldn't eat fish of any variety, even the thought of fish fingers or fish and chips would horrify him.

He'd been at university around 5 months when we went to visit him and we took him out for lunch, having checked first that they did something he would eat. He ordered calamari and whitebait !!!!! Apparently someone in the flat had some so as a poor student he tried what was being offered.

To this day he doesn't know himself what caused it, but he's now 25 and will eat absolutely anything, he's by far the most adventurous of all of us (we all felt sick when he tried a chicken heart). He's also a wonderful cook, he makes us fresh sushi and comes up with some amazing dishes.

I hope the above hasn't terrified you but you will get through it and find ways to manage her diet, the only bit of advice I can give you is don't let the situation around food become stressful and try and ignore it.

Really good to read the above @purpleprincess24
I always thought making too much of an issue of it was misguided. Glad it's worked out well for you, and hope my 10 year old follows suit.

Stupid question, but have you checked her teeth? Could she have a loose one? My kids' second teeth often popped out before the baby tooth was shed and then the baby tooth couldn't wobble itself out properly. Their mouths hurt too much to eat properly.
Having said that, I used to gag on meat at the same age, but solved the problem by hiding it in pot plants for the Labrador to clean up later.