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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About friends birthday

9 replies

Poppysmamma · 31/07/2017 16:51

It's a good friend's birthday today, it's a big birthday if that's relevant. There is supposed to be 10+ of us (I only know about 4 of these people, they are friends of my friend who I've met before but don't really know) going for a meal about a half hour drive out of our town. It's at a lovely hotel but I don't like anything on the menu, I have no disposable income and was borrowing money from DM to go. I have quite bad IBS and had a flare up a few days ago, I am still in some pain and still not 100%, I don't drive so would be relying on someone else to take me there and back so obviously felt it was unfair for me to ask if someone can take me home early if I didn't feel well. Anyway I thought all these things together it would be best if I didn't go, her other 'better' friends were a all still going so i messaged friend to say I wasn't feeling great and would she mind if I didn't come, she replied saying ok but now I feel really unreasonable, so aibu? Should I have made the effort and 'risked' feeling unwell and being unable to go home?

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 31/07/2017 16:56

Well it does sound a little bit like you're looking for excuses not to go... only you know how bad you feel though so if you feel terrible then don't go clearly. Is it possible to go and just have a drink or just a starter / pudding as a compromise?

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 31/07/2017 16:58

She said ok, presumably she knows you have IBS. I don't see the problem?

Poppysmamma · 31/07/2017 17:12

I couldnt have gone to just the starter or pudding as I don't drive so would have been relying on someone else. I do feel like I'm making up silly excuses but they are genuine excuses and thought all added together it was actually silly of me to go, I don't actually feel that ill but know it can turn at any second when I have had a flare up which I have for a few days now.

There is no problem, I just feel bad and wanted to know if iabu not going.

OP posts:
d270r0 · 31/07/2017 17:51

If you don't want to go, don't go! Not a problem.

Butterymuffin · 31/07/2017 17:55

Suggest another meet up at a different time to celebrate her birthday.

Newdad19 · 31/07/2017 17:55

You have already told her you are not going now. Can you arrange to visit her/go for a coffee another time? That way you can explain in person why you had to cancel, still see her but it may be friendlier on the bank balance too.

KC225 · 31/07/2017 18:02

A lot of your post is about things you already knew so you should have refused at point of invite not on the morning. YABU you need to make it up to her

PunnetSquare · 31/07/2017 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sugarcoma · 31/07/2017 18:23

Sorry but I'd be upset too. And I usually find that when people have to list a million excuses they know they've behaved in a shitty way.

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