To ask if anyone has missed a sentencing court date (not to have themselves sentenced) and how it impacted them?

[Lostbeyondwords]

We have a court date coming up. It's important, sentencing of offender, our side are the victim side.

Unfortunately, someone I know has passed away recently and it's quite likely their service will be on the same day. I don't know the timings yet and would definitely rush from court to the service if possible (wouldn't want to rush from the service to court).

If it turns out the timings are too close I think I know which place I'd rather be, personally, but I'm so confused as to whether it would be a "good idea" to miss the sentencing. In reality whether we are there or not will change nothing (I don't think?) but it's mentally I'm worried about. Can I ask, has anyone not attended a sentencing date and regretted it, or even have attended and regretted it?

I don't want to say what the sentencing is for though some may have seen my 30days thread, trying to keep trigger warning free and as anon as poss. Petrified of being journo fodder but I have limited people I can ask about this.

It depends on what they are being Sentenced for and what closure you think it will bring you to be there.

You will still find out the sentence afterwards.

What you may miss is any of the Judge's sentiments which have can be bland or damming depending on the Judge and the case. Some of them are brilliant at drumming home their points, others less so.

You may miss out on seeing the offender remorseful, but is that likely? Are you expecting them to be apologetic? Or will they kick off and rail at the court and the world and deny their guilt?

Do you have expectations do you think?

I think I remember your thread. I think I would want to hear what the judge has to say but I have no experience of that situation so no help really

It's a very personal thing, I think, so difficult for anyone else to answer.

Did you write a victim impact statement? If so, were you planning to read this out at court, it have it read on your behalf?

What is your relationship with the police officer dealing with the case like? Do you know if they will be going to the sentencing? (They don't always due to resources bring very stretched.) Could you call them and talk it over?

Vivienne I'm not bothered about the offender tbh, I'm sure they're remorseful but that doesn't mean anything to me right now and I would sit in the corner not looking at them so not planning on seeing their reaction (have seen the set up of the room). I would be interested in the judges comments, they seem quite a decent one.

Thanks Luna yeah that's the only part I think I'd be interested but someone would tell me what was said I'm sure, if needed.

I'm just torn.

it wouldn't honestly depend on all the questions your OP post doesn't answer e.g. Your relationship to the victim (unless it's you) and your relationship to the deceased.

I assume as it's the sentencing then the offender has already been found guilty so it's not like the victim will need support if the charge comes back as not guilty.

If you are close to the deceased (or the family) then you can ask if they can schedule the funeral for a day other than sentencing day?

nodogs yes statement done, I'd previously informed them I can't read it myself and they've said that's fine. I don't actually know who's dealing with it atm so can't answer that! Whole other story....

Apologies if I am thinking of a completely different situation but I don't recall the outcome regarding a few others. Are they likely to support you at the sentencing or will it kick off?

You did comment Luna but I know it can be difficult to keep track of disappearing threads. Nobody will kick off I'm sure, it will just be a lot of upset I imagine. but the only people dh and I will have there for support would be each other. The "others" won't be able to be of any support to us.

Peppa victim is not me but underage so myself and dh deal with everything. Guilty plea from the start so no issue there. I can't even say "the deceased"... I'll call her "lh" for lovely friend. Lh has been so supportive of me in general, but with this...was almost like a therapist, and just such a wonderful lady. I wouldn't even speak to or see her every day but knowing she's not around is so sad. I can't think of any other "day" that would make me question whether or not I should go.

Or "lf" even, no idea where I got lh stuck in my head from.

You could phone the court and explain, they are normally very helpful you could ask for a phone call to let you know the sentence and a transcript of the judges comments there is normally a charge for this but in this situation they would probably waive it, Good Luck op

P.s. In my situation I wasn't the victim but on the jury but I'm glad I asked for the transcript as since when I've had a wobble it's been good to get it out and reread it to reassure myself we made the right decision

Thanks Laulau I'd forgotten about the possibility of a transcript. I'd probably ask for one whether we were there or not tbh, just because I can be rather forgetful.

Need to discuss with dh, don't think either of us should be at court alone tbh, that wouldbe awful. Thanks for all your thoughts/questions/suggestions so far

Is it likely to appear in the local press? Would you want it to? You could give the news editor a call or email and let them know so they can make sure they don't miss it.
Some papers are better than others but most decent reporters will include the judges sentencing remarks.
If the victim is a child or the victim of a sex offence they won't be named in any publication.

NC4now unfortunately it is likely to be reported but is currently under a publishing ban, I'd prefer it stay that way but that's not my decision.

MyLearnedFriend I didn't realise that would be an option in the slightest. Hopefully speaking to whoever is the current OIC in the next few days so will enquire.