To feel so guilty

[Screamer1]

Background is I'm a freelancer and I work from home. My work highly depends on me keeping regular clients.

I had second DD a year ago. I never really stopped working with her. I would work when she was asleep next to me or in the sling on me. When I think back to it now I can't believe how much work I was doing (it was 90% when she was asleep). I think I must have gone into some kind of post birth adrenaline madness.

We are incredibly bonded and she is a really happy baby. BUT I can't help but look back and feel guilty. Like I've somehow not given her 100% because I was thinking about work when she was so little.

AIBU?

YABU, she was asleep and next to you. Nothing wrong with any of that.

Sounds great.

People will want to know what line of business you're in!

Why are you beating yourself up about something that your DD will neither remember nor know anything about?

I know it sounds a bit ridiculous. Objectively I can see that.

I think it's because with my son I was so 'present'. With DD I feel like I was just a bit preoccupied and that maybe she would somehow pick up on that.

Whilst you were working I was watching Real housewives series on repeat. She was asleep, you are bonded. You love her. You are making yourself feel guilty for nothing

With DD I feel like I was just a bit preoccupied and that maybe she would somehow pick up on that.

Well, wait for her to acquire enough language to tell you whether this was the case.

I suspect you may be waiting a long time...

Personally, I think it sounds like you had a fantastic set up and are probably a very capable, disciplined person.

With kindness, yabu

Your DD was safe, happy, asleep and close to you, and you have a great bond.

Babies are all different, so it's normal that you'll parent each child differently.