Or is she being rude and entitled?

[AppraisedOfMiltonKeynes]

NC for this as this may out me:

One of the people I line manage has recently started coming out with statements that, to me at least, sound really rude and entitled and just generally rather immature. Recent examples include some of the following gems:

[After a very brief 'hi' but before either of us had even taken our seats] Just so you're aware, if I don't get promoted this year I'll be really pissed off!

[Upon being asked to submit a two-page form of self-input dealing precisely with promotion decisions and finally delivering it one week late without so much as a heads-up before that] I'm somehow not feeling page two of the form, so I've only completed page one.

Plus a bunch of similar statements/events.

AIBU to find this impossibly rude and just plain entitled? Am I being overly sensitive? OTOH, I may be being too lenient with her as she's the only woman I manage in a heavily male dominated field. Her statements coming from a man would have me crack down really fast. Remember that this is not a teen or first-jobber but a person currently looking to move into a lower management position.

YABU for treating her differently to the men you manage. Is this another gender thread? I don't mind the debate but just wondered. I would probably crack down, she obviously thinks shes worth more than you think which is why she is pushing her luck.

If you would crack down on a man then crack down on her, you do her no favours treating her more leniently

I worry that you want to treat her differently because she's a woman.

"Her statements coming from a man would have me crack down really fast."

People like you may be the reason for the gender gap in senior management. Her behaviour is inappropriate but as a manager, you need to live up to your job title and manage someone. Take the opportunity to help her progress. Your attitude seems ingrained and if you are outed, I only hope it leads to demotion.

I don't know what to make of it tbh.
Yes she is acting like a cow. But could it be that in the past she's worked her arse off and never got the break. Is this her anger coming out.

I think you ought to arrange a meeting with her and express why her comments and actions are unconducive to her progress.
Create a list of such instances and be very factual regarding times /dates. e.g the deadline was on X date and you submitted it on Y date with no other reason that you 'just weren't feeling it.'

Your attitude seems ingrained and if you are outed, I only hope it leads to demotion.

Said the keyboard warrior slamming down her cup of tea to make unnecessary rude comments on the internet.

FWIW, re. the gender statement: this is an admission of my own insecurity re. the matter. I do push women in the firm to generally be more assertive, so I feel a bit shit about telling her to sod off and stop being rude.

That having been said: I actually do mean 'assertive', not 'arsey and entitled'.

But could it be that in the past she's worked her arse off and never got the break.
She does work her arse off - she also gets lots of recognition and praise for it. Such as being up for promotion after only a year at the firm. She also needs to understand that people can and do work their arses off and still miss out sometimes. It's happened to all of us, and she's not THAT special.

TBH, I have no problem at all with the sentiments expressed by her. I don't like her choice of words and her tone and I don't think I'm really doing her a favour by letting her get away with it.

So you're too scared of her assertiveness? Or you aren't assertive enough. I don't think she's done anything wrong - in fact her ballsy attitude is exactly what women need to progress to upper management.

I think your fear of assertiveness says a lot about your management style really.

VladmirsPoutine

Actually, whilst off to a board meeting (well, at the departure gate) which I have the privilege of attending because I'm educated and good at my job rather than being a sexist and immature woman stuck in lower management, giving the rest of us a bad name.

Nothing I said was rude. It was descriptive.

Treating people differently because of their sex is a problem and no less so because it's a woman doing so.

Also be careful. If she is a star performer, and most women with a ballsy attitude who perform well tend to be, she could be managing you in a few years. You don't want to treat her unfairly just because you dislike your personality - former managers did that to me, and when I progressed to manage their managers (I leapfrogged several promotion grades) the first thing I did was demand restructures.

You need a good hard look at your management style. Why do you push women to be more assertive? And treat them differently? Why haven't you gone to town on her arse yet? She's being idiotic and sounds like she's taking the piss out of you and knows you'll be softer on her. Have a meeting and tell her that promotion comes from working hard and providing good evidence, not from failing to complete page 2 of a promotion seeking document! She sounds like a piss taker and you sound like a weak manager.

the first thing I did was demand restructures

Did you fire them?

You can't run a two tier system based on gender

Groupie that doesn't really worry me too much. Firstly because I am that woman myself (and actually up for promotion, having in fact filled in both pages of my form), secondly because, luckily for me, I get to pick my bosses (i.e. get to pick whose team I want to be assigned to) and finally because who says she'd be a bad manager to work for?