Feeling exhausted and like I can't cope

[witsendreached]

After another weekend which I mostly spent lying down or asleep, and then struggling to drag myself out of bed this morning with a pounding headache, I feel i am really struggling and don't know what to do.

I work ft, have DC still at home who are teens. One works unsociable hours (getting train home at 12-12.30) I have to go and collect them from the station otherwise it's a 15 min walk along mostly unlit roads. So i don't get an early night (they work every eve).

I don't particularly like my job. Certain aspects, but not the whole thing. I'm paid less than male colleagues but there's no mechanism to challenge it. My industry is dying on it's arse though and so I am likely to struggle getting another job.

I also get no sick pay (ssp only). My manager is approachable but never observes any confidentiality, so I'm reluctant to discuss any personal issues with him because i know everyone will end up knowing...

I'm in a relationship with someone who has a serious illness (ok at present but feel we're on borrowed time), and who's awaiting sentence for a criminal offense and might be sent to prison though it's more likely to be a suspended sentence.

Work don't know any of this. Ditto friends, for various reasons. So I'm carrying it all alone. I feel really isolated and like I'm shouldering a massive burden.

And then I'm not being productive in any sense. Not at work or home. My house is falling apart and i have no energy to tackle any of the jobs that need doing. I'd pay someone to do it but can't find anyone who wants the work. Crazy i know. It takes all my energy to do the minimum. On Sat I cleaned out our pet. That took an hour and i had to lie down after as I was shattered. No reason for this, blood tests are normal. I am very disgustingly overweight though so that's part of it. My GP suggests losing weight. Food however is about the only pleasure in my life now.

I can't bear talking to people. I sit at my desk in my shitty office and people disturb me all day with small talk. I can't bear it and would happily spend all day not talking to anyone. Then just go home and sleep.Its a struggle to get out of bed each morning. But if i don't I have no money and we lose our home. So i have to keep going...

I accept i probably am being a bit of a martyr . I was brought up that asking for help was a sign of weakness, to do everything myself (and perfectly) and be completely independent. It's a hard habit to break.

I gave up coffee last year when i had high blood pressure. I only drink decaff now but I do definitely eat too much sugar.

Oh gosh sweetie. You have a very stressful life atm. Remember - these things will pass. It sounds crap but try some meditation during the day - one of those breathing Apps? Even if it's just 30 seconds whilst locked in the ladies loo at work. 30 seconds just for you.

Go back to GP - a different one if possible & feel free to throw your toys out of the pram.

Any chance your child/children could get another set of uniform so you've got a bit of flex on the washing situ? Also the pipe leak may only need a washer change.

BTW when I have to listen to crappy smalltalk from people I don't like I end up singing lala lala in my head whilst nodding/smiling at appropriate intervals and tuning them out.

Why not take a walk at lunchtime so you don't have to listen - double benefit of gentle exercise and fresh air.

Small steps x

If DCs pay is good let them sort out a taxi. The late night pick up is adding a huge amount of stress to you. And maybe they could pay for the machine to be fixed so it can run without supervision? Why can't they get a second uniform? If you said already I missed it, sorry

OP said second uniform is on the way. I'd task DC with ringing round other plumbers to get one in asap to fix the machine. That will make everyone's life easier.

OK, take the appointment on the 17th. If they offer therapy again take it. Honestly you'll benefit from it, whether you think it's the problem or not. It's a brave step but oh so worth it I promise you.

Regarding your tiredness. Explain to your eldest how tired you are. Then get a taxi booked to pick them up late at night. Tell them to get the uniform sorted asap even if it means the wrong size for now because you can't stay up at night and wash it and neither can they. Today they get another uniform no matter the size until the ordered one comes in. Even if they have to borrow off a colleague.

Why don't you take it in turns with the pick ups and washing? I.e. One night u pick them up then the next they get a cab home. One night you wash the uniform and the next they do it (and you could leave a massive note on the washing machine so u don't end up flooded!). Might be a good short term solution until u can get the washing machine fixed.

I think u need to talk to someone - counsellor perhaps.

And get dc a bike or taxi from station amd have an early night

What uniform is it? Could it now be given a squirm handwash and high spin. Quicker than a full wash.

Is there not another staff member who can taxi share st the end of the night?

Quick wandwash

Not squirm

Handwash

So sorry to hear this op

I'm rubbish at advice for this - but I thought I'd just mention our doctors are advertising online counselling. If that's something you'd feel more comfortable with? Maybe they do something similar in your area?

I would keep at your Drs though. I don't know the right tests to ask for. But I think you need to talk to someone. Take care

Uniform can definitely be handwashed in extremis...I'd rather put it through the machine but needs must etc.

My gp surgery aren't great - there's actually a few different gps there but all are much the same. That said the whole hassle of changing surgeries is beyond me at the moment, i don't have the energy to ring round, or annual leave to use to go in and register etc. Time is a real issue, I have loads of things that the ONLY time to do them is apparently in the middle of the day, not easy when I'm at work.