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Any managers? To ask how to influence people at work

13 replies

Luckily89 · 30/07/2017 21:28

Any tips on influencing people at work ? Not their manager but above them and have found problems with getting people to remember to do basic things and generally influencing them No help from my superiors or their manager so pretty much on my own
Would love to know how to influence people without irritating them and then them talking back etc
Don't ever lose my temper but what I've done so far doesn't seem to be effective Any tips appreciated

OP posts:

redexpat · 30/07/2017 21:36

I don't quite understand your post. But I always recommend reading Nice Girls Dont Get the COrner Office. It's about being assertive and not undermining yourself without realising.


AlternativeTentacle · 30/07/2017 21:40

So you are their managers' manager? Tell their managers to go sort it out.


DrowningSeas · 30/07/2017 21:45

I've always found being direct and polite to work very well

So, "please could you do i need it done by "

Followed by a "i have asked to do for me / us" to the relevant person

I have always avoided...

  • Would you mind
  • Could i ask a favour

These leave you open to "no" and you owe me.

MarmaladeAtkinsX · 30/07/2017 21:55

Do you have any responsibility for them? If you're not part of their line management they're not going to like you trying to 'manage' them.

Try and find an angle for them, collaborate and suggest solutions to the problem that needs fixing, ideally with actions for everyone in the group, not just those lower down the pecking order.


SpottedGingham · 30/07/2017 21:56

Email the request and cc their line manager (and yours)

Always start an audit trail. It is invaluable.


TartanDMs · 30/07/2017 22:00

I find that where possible, engaging with people to get their ideas and then trialling things they suggest that may work is a good way of getting them to invest in their own work and stay motivated. Take them with you through change rather than directing them, but it is always important to be consistent and to address performance issues or attitude individually otherwise it has a demotivating effect on the whole team. So if there is one person who is always lazy or argumentative, tackle them first, and give them a clear path for improvement, holding them to account. But I agree with a PP, if you are their manager's manager, then you need to address it with them and get them to manage.


Nettletheelf · 30/07/2017 22:16

If you want people to think you are an arse weasel, definitely do what SpottedGingham suggests: don't bother talking to them or treating them like professionals when you want them to do something. No, e-mail your request to them CC-ing in their line manager. Then they will know that you aren't confident in your own authority and are trying to cover your own arse. It's a great way of building working relationships.


ethelfleda · 30/07/2017 22:19

Place marking!


Rinkydinkypink · 30/07/2017 22:25

Be honest and open with people! Respect your work force! Remember they are people with families and lives out of work! Be prepared to muck in yourself. Don't every patronise or talk down to people. Be prepared to piss people off but make it known you only ever do it for very good reason and in extreme circumstances.

2 best pieces of advice I was given by a good CEO.
Lead by example!

Never shit on people on the way up because be sure they'll be waiting for you on the way back down.


Flatpackback · 30/07/2017 22:28

Try and look for a win-win. What's in it for them? What are the benefits to them of doing x,y,z? If only you are going to benefit from their changes in behaviour, you'll never get anywhere. What positive impact will the changes you want to implement have on the team? If you can tie the benefits to performance targets, company objectives, misssion statements etc so much the better.


88JellyFish · 31/07/2017 07:48

Interesting thread. Could I please ask another question on the back of it?

How do people manage to be assertive without alienating people? Whenever I present myself as confident proposing ideas in group work or at the PTA I feel people look uncomfortable or I feel I am alienating people.

Is it very much about 'a time and a place'? e.g. if you are new to a group you should shut up until a few months years later to understand all the dynamics and then dare make a proposal? Why dod some people get away with sounding hectoring and others including myself who propose ideas directly but nicely get funny looks?


AlternativeTentacle · 31/07/2017 08:42

How do people manage to be assertive without alienating people?

It is about the relationship behind the assertiveness. I am 8 months into a new role, made ample suggestions 'as a newbie' I can see where they were going wrong, and have already changed so many things but it is how you present them and how it is introduced that makes the difference. If I wasn't building up a relationship outside of the meetings that I make these suggestions in, then they would all go down like a lead balloon. Also, about knowing your onions, know what is going on, being on the button with changes internally and externally and making the connections - and also giving others a chance to get their heads around the suggestion first before you propose it.

So for example 'we could do x and y, if we had x/with some tweaking/alternative marketing' rather than 'why aren't you doing X and Y?'

Also, I tend to just go do and try some little nugget and see if it works, and then bring it back to the table with 'I tried this last week, and got this result, perhaps we could look at doing it with bigger clients/partners/projects and see how that could work?'


Rinkydinkypink · 31/07/2017 12:25

It's the shit sandwich approach that works.

Find a positive of the current system or staff..... suggest your idea or mention the change in a way such as 'i wonder if'...'how do people feel about'.....then end on another positive.

Don't steam roller in. Do it gently. Don't assume your right about everything but have a 'can do' attitude. I also find by suggesting something would be 'helpful' works well. Support other people in their ideas! If your supportive of others they will be supportive of you.... generally that is.

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