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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how much you saved before TTC?

76 replies

EastDulwichWife · 30/07/2017 21:15

Did you save before TTC? Or did you start saving once you had conceived?

How much did you set aside for the first year, plus?

I know the quantity will vary hugely, depending on lifestyle / location, but I'd love to know what you based your savings on. For example, enough to bolster the gap between maternity pay and your regular income for 6/9/12 months.

OP posts:

wellhonestly · 31/07/2017 08:17

Nothing w DS1.

Enough before DS2 to take an extra 6 months maternity leave.

lmer · 31/07/2017 09:08

Nothing as both were a complete surprise- but you can do thinks cheaply if your not super fussed about 100% brand new- things that are only used for short term (like swing/bouncer/jumperoo) you can pick up on Facebook for less then half the cost of a new one. You can get clothes cheaply from primark/ASDA- and if you buy expensive stuff like jojo then there's a good resell value which helps with buying the next size up!

BoredOnMatLeave · 31/07/2017 09:27

We didn't save before TTC DD and had no problems but I went back to work at 6 months ( we could have managed a year though, I just wanted to go back). Thinking about TTC #2 and think we need to save quite a bit to cover DD nursery fees as I would like her to continue going (its 1 day a week) and we will also have moved before then so will try and save a bit to help cover the increase in mortgage.

2014newme · 31/07/2017 09:29

Ivf ended up costing us £20k

Original poster

EastDulwichWife · 31/07/2017 09:32

@Imperial - I get 4.5 months full pay, and a salary that is 3x my half of the mortgage and bills contribution, so I'm able to pay the mortgage and all bills for the first 5 months, and ought to be able to save another third from each of those months as I doubt I'll be spending much with a new born. Our usual dinners out and wine budget will take a slashing!

Assuming I go back to work after 10 months mat leave (9 plus A/L), I'll have 4 months of limited contributions (SMP) only. So, with cut backs and squirreling now I reckon it's doable.

It's so lovely to hear all these tales about unexpected babies and how it's all worked out for everyone. I've no doubt it can take its toll, but the attitude on here is so positive.

As many have mentioned, it's the year after (childcare!) that'll test us! Thanks for all the tips on second hand / low cost baby items too btw. Really appreciated.

OP posts:

Original poster

EastDulwichWife · 31/07/2017 09:36

@cocklodger & @2014 - fertility costs are crippling. I hope they were successful for each of you.

OP posts:

2014newme · 31/07/2017 09:39

People are so presumptive about their ability to have children 🙄

SandysMam · 31/07/2017 10:19

2014 unfortunately I think you are right. I have several good friends who waited for everything to be perfect until ttc. Big house, lots of savings. Two started trying at 38 and it's just never happened, despite several thousands on fertility treatment. Both now say they wish they'd just started earlier and not assumed it would just happen once everything was in place.
I do however think you are right to be saving and preparing OP, but if time is possibly running out then don't waste it for the sake of money.

Original poster

EastDulwichWife · 31/07/2017 10:27

Sandysman. I agree. I'm only 30 and DH 33, so as far as ages go we ought to be okay (though, there may well be other issues). We live in London and it seems almost uncool to start at my (relatively) young age. But I agree with you and @2014 - it's easy to assume it'll happen and I don't want to hold off for a few more years "just because", when we're emotionally and practically able to give it a shot now.

OP posts:

SandysMam · 31/07/2017 10:32

Wishing you all the best OP, you sound lovely and sure you'll be a lovely mum xx

NotMyPenguin · 31/07/2017 10:34

I had roughly £35,000 put aside to see me through a year off, a gentle return to work (going freelance) and initial childcare costs. It was a combination of savings plus taking voluntary redundancy -- I decided it would give us a better start. I was a single mother with no other support, though, and living in an expensive area. Doing it again with more support and less in the bank.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 31/07/2017 10:36

Nothing!

I did check my entitlement to maternity pay and originally planned to wait until I had been in my then job long enough to qualify

But then I got super broody and went: "Its only £30 a week! Fuck me now while I'm fertile"

We lived on maternity allowance and DH's wages and it was fine. Bear in mind: you don't get to leave the house much or go anywhere exciting. The opportunity to waste money doesn't really arise.

NotMyPenguin · 31/07/2017 10:36

It's definitely easier with a partner. Basically the first year or two of childcare will wipe out a decent salary, but it then gets a lot easier. It is totally worth it. Also, you may be surprised at the support you get from family and friends, or the possibility of rearranging life so it fits better with childcare. This can actually be even more valuable than saving up :-)

Have you considered leaving London?

lozzylizzy · 31/07/2017 10:44

Nothing, just had stat maternity pay and we did fine! Babies don't cost much and when you spend your days doing nothing but looking after a baby you don't spend much either. I am finding that the kids are getting more expensive as they get older.

lozzylizzy · 31/07/2017 10:46

I live in the North so housing etc is cheaper.

Original poster

EastDulwichWife · 31/07/2017 10:48

Thanks @Sandy! You too! @Unlimited - your post really made me laugh. I thought as much - looking through my bank statements at meals out, cinema tickets etc there's plenty to cut back on..!

@Penguin we're fortunate to have all 4 parents around, and my dad lives close so we're hoping for a bit of childcare help from him. We think about leaving London all the time, but we've never decided on where we might go!? Neither of us want to move back home (and neither are practical for DH's commute), but hopefully over time we'll settle on somewhere. We're not particularly London focused either; it's more a case of their being too many nice options outside for us to pick one! I think we'll stay here for a few years and then make a move. Perhaps the draw to be closer to parents will kick in if we have a baby!

OP posts:

kel1234 · 31/07/2017 10:50

We didn't save at all. We met in April 2014 and started ttc in July 2014.
We conceived in November 2014, and even got married in April 2015.
So we got married and had a baby without saving.
No we don't have a lot of money at all. But we managed.

MaryShelley1818 · 31/07/2017 10:53

I'm 21wks pregnant and we haven't saved a penny! Just using all our spare money to buy the mountains of 'probably unnecessary' baby stuff, plus enjoying weekends away and paying for a couple of trips in advance for next year when baby is here.

ImogenTubbs · 31/07/2017 11:01

I spent about £10k savings on mat leave. I was a earning £50k living in London with high mortgage, DH was on £35k. I had three months on 90% pay and then statutory so that £10k helped pay the bills for the next 7 months. Had to be a bit careful but we were ok, although a couple of grand also ended up on credit card

TriJo · 31/07/2017 11:16

DS was born 10 months after our wedding, not a lot of saving time there! We paid for the wedding from savings.

MondieBee · 31/07/2017 11:22

Nothing. Just bought baby stuff cheaply across the pregnancy. Gumtree and Facebook selling sites are fab. Most things like bouncy chairs, cribs etc are only used for 6 months so there's really no need to buy new imo. I didn't do the whole nursery thing thought with matching furniture and changing tables and all that. I bought a bedside crib second hand and some drawers off gumtree. His room is lovely though, probably the nicest one in the house.
We bought a travel system new (a very cheap joie one) and I think that was about it new, apart from clothes as they are so cheap.

I've never understood people who drop £800+ on a pram and over a grand on slightly smaller wardrobes and general nursery furniture and then for example turn their baby forward facing bang on 9 months because 'rf seats are so expensive'

Sunshinegirl82 · 31/07/2017 12:09

I think there is a difference in saving for baby "stuff" and saving for the cost of one person potentially earning significantly less for 3/6/9/12 months. For some it will be possible to absorb a drop in income for others it simply won't be no matter how much you cut back and don't go out. It's very dependant on circumstance.

I don't think you need to save anything for "stuff" beyond safety items such as car seats and new mattresses but if you can't afford to live on one salary plus mat pay then you have to accept an early return to work (and possibly consider childcare costs) or save to cover the difference.

AccrualIntentions · 31/07/2017 15:12

Sunshinegirl82

Completely! None of my saving is for baby "stuff", we're getting as much as we can second hand and not doing the Pinterest worthy nursery. My saving is to manage the £2k per month drop in income that we'll have because I'm not working. If it was just about baby clothes and prams that would be lovely. It's about paying the mortgage AND being able to have the length of time off I want.

splendide · 31/07/2017 15:14

Yes it's an interesting insight into couples where the mother's wages make no odds. Prams/ baby clothes/ bouncy chairs weren't the issue at all, it was the mortgage!

peachgreen · 31/07/2017 15:47

Hmm I think it's a bit of both. We've made sure that we can live on DH's salary + SMP (and we moved countries to make this possible!), but a) that's just covering the very basics and b) that doesn't account for the full year which I'd like to have the option to take if I want to.

The reason we've saved so much is to cover emergencies (our car is DEFINITELY on its last legs / tires!) and travel during maternity leave (my family live a plane ride away), but it's also to cover the extra cost of having a baby which really we can't predict. I've made a budget for buying the "big ticket" items (mostly second hand) but I can't really budget for nappies / formula if I can't breastfeed / mother and baby groups / activities etc because I've never experienced any of those and have no idea what I'll want / need to do.

I don't think those saying they've saved for "baby stuff" are necessarily meaning that they're going to spend it all on shiny new furniture and JoJo Maman Bebe clothes!

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