Posting here on the advice of a poster (for more traffic)
Today 13:26 OmniwhoreDun
Doing this completely on the downlow.
I've NC because I'm so close now and paranoid that my H will find out my plans
I have posted many times during my rocky marriage and I've gotten such brilliant advice. I hope I won't be judged too harshly. I made plans to go in the January just gone but a legal matter complicated things. A couple of months previously I went to see a solicitor and got some preliminary advice and left my marriage certificate with them with a view to filling out some paperwork nearer the time.
I'm so mentally and physically drained from the last few years that I'm stalling. I've literally frozen knowing that I now have a countdown. I have NOBODY in RL that I've been able to tell of my plans as I had planned similar 4 years ago and the person I trusted blabbed to my husband sad
I haven't even told my family because they love him and I know they will try to help and things will be disastrous for me like they were before.
Ok -sorry for the long backstory.
I do not know what to write for the reasons for unreasonable behaviour. I can barely string a sentence together. I've done a little research and this tells me that you can only include things that have happened in the last 6 months.
A small selection of the crap I've been through.
Our marriage goes through cycles. Cycles of my husband working away for long spells, never contacting me, being an absent parent (sleeping all weekends) to being present, very thoughtful- buying my flowers and perfume and lavishing the children with gifts to being found out being unfaithful-me withdrawing affection, kicking him out-him being remorseful, trying again
I am SAHM and supporting him for ten years to get to where he is -very successful in his field. I have physically single handedly raised our children including one who has special needs.
Over the course of our marriage he has
Stood by whilst his family systematically bullied and psychologically damaged me (including them threatening to take my children from me for being an unfit mother)
Made enquiries to see a prostituee for anal sex (I found the email to the prostitute when looking for house stuff
This caused me to miscarry our second child
When he came with me for the scan it was detected that there was no heartbeat -which he later used to minimise what I went through saying that "there was always going to be a miscarriage)
Been caught out using chat room and receiving sexts/porn photos
Been inappropriate with work colleagues wives (I have seen and made copies of e mails)
Created social media accounts that have had photos of woman draped all over him (which he made private when I saw them)
He has literally cut me out of his life but expects to be fully immersed in mine- he leeches onto my friends over takes the friendship entirely -makes himself indispensable to them then turns on me.
He does this usually by demeaning me in front of them and saying horrible things, usually when everyone has had a drink or two- lately he has done in in front on my children - last summer he said (when I mentioned that my friends husband and I had a hometown in common "oh yes she had to make money somehow to get her through uni" implying I whored my way through uni
He has a social media presence where everything is wonderful and he is a loving father, philanthropist and action man- reality is he's a cunt, misogynist, pays women for sex and does nothing but sleep whilst I'm at home keeping everything going.
He works then comes home and does fuck all but sleep
He sent photos of my child to a woman last year on whatsapp that he'd met and discussed me and in conversation they laughed that I had the life of Riley and that if there were no children he would not be with me.
After I insisted that he have an STI test he then refused to have a vasectomy or use condoms for sex. I have refused to sleep with him (been 6 months now)
I have to stress that the background to all this I won't go into but I have only stayed because my children (in particular one DC) would have been extremely vulnerable in the hands of my H and his fucked up family-but I can only take this so far and I'm at breaking point. I know I've had enough because all those nights spent crying knowing he's wooing other woman have gone. I pray that some idiot falls for his lines so that I can be free-there's nothing anymore sad
My parents are back in this country at the end of October and I plan to tell them immediately of my plans and to beg them to stay a month to help me with practical things whilst I leave the omnifucking shambles of a marriage. I will just tell them I'm asking for a divorce and serve him papers whilst they are here.
In the first instance could anyone help me prepare my written statement for reasons I'm divorcing him. I cannot do it without sounds like a crazed harpy.
Thank you for getting this far.