My feed

to access all these features


To want to go away together on DD's 1st birthday?

11 replies

mamabae · 30/07/2017 13:18

There's a lot of history with standard family drama but in a nutshell DH and I are sick of being dictated to by both sets of parents with visits all the time, no respect for our family time together, overbearing outdated advice etc etc. It's DD's first birthday in a couple of months and we have found a cute little cottage in the country to maybe go there for a long weekend- just the 3 of us as a celebration. However we haven't told our relatives what we plan to do as they are already trying to take over what we're doing and we know it won't go down well at all. They honestly made the first few weeks horrendous for us, plus with DD being very poorly when she was born and needing surgery, On top of that I was getting calls from my dad shouting at me for not inviting Aunt so and so to visit. Hmm at the time I just took it as tbh I felt like shit after a major bleed and surgery for me also. I want to really make her 1st birthday a special one and not ruined by stupid disagreements. Is it too harsh to not involve extended family on her 1st birthday party? AIBU? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
araiwa · 30/07/2017 13:21

Go for it

SisterhoodisPowerful · 30/07/2017 13:23

Moving continents wouldn't be an unreasonable response to this kind of behaviour.

kiwipie · 30/07/2017 13:23

Go for it!

Just say you haven't made any plans and then say you booked a last minute trip! Be sure not to tell them where or give the wrong location... incase they are the type to try and crash.

Trb17 · 30/07/2017 13:26

Absolutely go for it. It's a great idea. Just DO NOT TELL ANYONE about your plans beforehand.

Also, consider reducing contact or going NC with family like this as over time they will wear you down and you need to protect DD from this sort of toxic relatives.

RortyCrankle · 30/07/2017 13:53

Don't think twice - go away and enjoy your DD's birthday just the three of you.

Iknowacrackingowlsanctuary · 30/07/2017 14:08

I plan on doing something similar as I know MIL will descend on us and make it all about her. When DS was first born she said how lovely it was that we lived nearby so they can all be there for his 1st birthday as BIL & SIL lived in another country when their DD turned one and how it was so pathetic it being just those 3 for her birthday. I know exactly why she said it, to make me feel like it couldn't be just me, DH and DS for his birthday. Little does she know that her saying that made me decide there and then that I wouldn't be throwing a party and she wouldn't be sitting in my house all day long taking over.

Cakeorchocolate · 30/07/2017 14:10

Nope not unreasonable.
You already know you'll get grief though so thick skin and standing ground will be required!

Enjoy your break Smile

mamabae · 30/07/2017 14:29

Thank you all for your replies. I'm definitely taking on board the not telling them about it part. I think I'm just going to avoid the topic altogether. I could just imagine turning up and both my parents and PIL standing on the driveway "SURPRISE...we thought we'd make it a group holiday" Sad

OP posts:
TooFew · 30/07/2017 14:33

Do it. We had a similar scenario with out families so took our DD away for her 2st birthday. It was great stress free fun and we made fab memories.

Islacornx · 30/07/2017 14:35

Absolutely do this! We have the same problem with our families, although not as bad as you Shock and we decided to go to the lakes for a couple of days just the three of us for our DD 1st birthday, it was bliss!
If you wanted you could throw a small party for family when you get back but have the actual day just the three of you.

Bluerose27 · 30/07/2017 14:36

Yep go away, tell nobody and have a wonderful time!!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.