There's a lot of history with standard family drama but in a nutshell DH and I are sick of being dictated to by both sets of parents with visits all the time, no respect for our family time together, overbearing outdated advice etc etc. It's DD's first birthday in a couple of months and we have found a cute little cottage in the country to maybe go there for a long weekend- just the 3 of us as a celebration. However we haven't told our relatives what we plan to do as they are already trying to take over what we're doing and we know it won't go down well at all. They honestly made the first few weeks horrendous for us, plus with DD being very poorly when she was born and needing surgery, On top of that I was getting calls from my dad shouting at me for not inviting Aunt so and so to visit. 
at the time I just took it as tbh I felt like shit after a major bleed and surgery for me also. I want to really make her 1st birthday a special one and not ruined by stupid disagreements. Is it too harsh to not involve extended family on her 1st birthday party? AIBU? Thanks in advance