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AIBU?

to think that exP should sign on?

20 replies

EllieK · 27/03/2007 15:45

I am 8.5 mths pg. I split from my partner several months ago.

At the end of January he got the sack for not meeting targets (works in recruitment), after a few weeks he got himself a new job in the same sort of work. 2 weeks ago he got himself sacked from that. when I asked why he said 'the boss was a bitch and it had built up over a period of time'. I pointed out he'd only been there 6 weeks FFS!

anyway, he has bills he agreed to pay, namely the broadband fee as he insisted we needed it, he signed up for an 18 mth contract without consulting me, and i can't afford to pay it.

last month the direct debit bounced, so i have had to pay it or BT were going to cut the phoneline. I live in a village in the middle of nowhere with very little mobile signal and need to be able to call someone if i go into labour!

I wasn't going to get a new car seat as i had one from ds which a friend has been using. ExP said no, his parents wanted to buy something for the baby and i have everything else so they would pay for it. now i have it he's being slow getting me the money.

Then today, when i point out he owes me the broadband fee for the last bill, and the next one is due on 4th April (baby due 9th) and ask what he intends to do about it, I get told that he doesn't know cos he doesn't have a job yet. I asked if he'd signed on and no he hasn't, because he didn't think it was worth it for the few weeks til he gets Paternity leave . He has no money, the direct debit bounced while he was still working so he must be totally skint now, and if this baby is late it could be up to 4 weeks before he can get Paternity Pay (i'm not even sure he'll get it at all as he's not working), and in the meantime he could have at least some money coming in so he can help out.

i am so with him. he's not thinking about anyone but him, the only reason he hasn't done it is he's too proud, he's living 5 mins walk from the Job Centre FFS.

sorry it's long, I just needed to rant!

OP posts:

Report

expatinscotland · 27/03/2007 15:47

Get you a Sure Start grant.

It'll take them weeks to get him started on JobSeeker's Allowance even if he signed on today.

It's not like they magic up the money.

You can also apply for a Crisis Loan. You'll have to pay it back from your benefits, but it may tide you over.

zippitippitoes · 27/03/2007 15:50

I would ask bt to consider letting you renege on the broadband contract

EllieK · 27/03/2007 16:05

bt won't do anything cos the contract is in his name and i keep asking him to speak to them but he 'doesn't get round to it'

i know they won't magic up the money expat, my point is that if he doesn't sign up he won't ever get anything

i'm not on benefits, i've been working and am now on mat leave so can't get, and don't need, a crisis loan. i have enough to tide me over for now but can't afford to be covering his expenses. i can use money i have put by for maternity leave to pay the bill until he gets some but if he is out of work for months i will struggle. I have budgeted and that includes allowing for the money he said he would be paying.

i will hopefully get a sure start grant but don't see why i should be covering his back just because he doesn't want to sort his life out.

OP posts:

charliecat · 27/03/2007 16:08

Tell bt you have just moved in
no forwarding address for MR whoever.
Dont rely on him for anything, because he will let you down by the sounds of it.
Have you applied for income support and tax credits for yourself and the baby to be?

mytwopenceworth · 27/03/2007 16:10

he doesnt live there anymore right? so he is the old occupant. you phone bt, say you have moved into the address and wish to commence services. he doesnt have to do anything and any contract he entered into is his own problem. they entered into an agreement with him, not the address.

mytwopenceworth · 27/03/2007 16:10

sorry, xpost with charliecat

expatinscotland · 27/03/2007 16:11

in that case, ellie, i agree w/MTPW. the contract is in his name. he doesn't live there anymore. it's not your problem, it's BT's.

DaisyMOO · 27/03/2007 16:16

IIRC you aren't entitled to Jobseeker's allowance if you were sacked from your last job, so don't bank on him getting anything.

Do you have a phone number for his parents? If so could you give them a ring and explain that you really need the money for it? If not and it's still in the box couldn't you take it back for a refund?

He sounds a bit useless tbh, I wouldn't rely on him for a penny.

EllieK · 27/03/2007 16:18

unfortunately they know i'm not new to this address as i used to have a contract and ended it, he moved into my house IYSWIM

I don't really want to have to take a new number and while he has outstanding bills i would have to.

i'm not entitled to income support yet, i worked full time for just long enough that my first 6 weeks mat pay will be based on my ft earnings, not the pt earnings i went on to. (see, really did think it all through for once!) so once i'm out of those 6 weeks i will apply, not expecting to get it tho, with tax credits and basic mat paay i think i'm just outside it.

i'm already on tax credits for ds but will be informing them as soon as this baby arrives

OP posts:

EllieK · 27/03/2007 16:19

his parents are round the corner and if he doesn't sort it soon i will be 'popping in'

OP posts:

mytwopenceworth · 27/03/2007 16:29

ok, but it still isn't a problem. you phone them up, tell them he has gone/done a bunk/walked out. the contract is in his name and you are under no obligation to take it over. you can keep the same telephone number, i have kept an old tenants telephone number before and i know they owed money because bt kept sending their bill to me as their last known address!!! it is still a seperate account.

EllieK · 27/03/2007 16:54

thanks for the advice, have just spoken to him and given him an earbashing about his responsibilities, he says he will be in a new job on Monday, if he's not i'll be calling bt and discussing it (let's hope i don't get the foreign call centre again, i had to spell ,my name 4 times and they still didn't get it )

OP posts:

sheepgomeep · 27/03/2007 17:16

how will he get paternity leave if he was sacked from his last job and is not working?

EllieK · 27/03/2007 17:17

that's exactly what i asked him!
think he's living on cloud cuckoo, he seems to think that he will, i've told him to find out for sure tomorrow.

OP posts:

EllieK · 27/03/2007 17:18

he thinks his ex employers will have to pay it but seems very odd, that they would be obliged to pay 2 weeks wages to someone they sacked

OP posts:

sheepgomeep · 27/03/2007 17:20

I'm pretty sure he won't tbh. I'm also sure that you have to be working for a number of weeks for the same employee beforequalifying for pat leave.
Even if he starts this job on monday he still won't qualify!!

Think you are right he is living in cloud cuckoo land!

sheepgomeep · 27/03/2007 17:21

dp walked out of his last job. He qualified for pat leave but left. I'm 7 months pg too. His employers definetely aren't paying it!

EllieK · 27/03/2007 17:25

i know he won't get it if he starts a new job now, and so does he, but because i was going to be entitled to mat pay from my agency even if my contract ended before i took it (so long as i'd been there til a certain week before due date) i think he's presumed it will be the same for him. he's a muppet.

OP posts:

EllieK · 27/03/2007 17:35

just checked direct.gov
he won't get it, have sent him a text to inform him, maybe that will shock him into getting his arse in gear.

OP posts:

mytwopenceworth · 31/03/2007 20:37

what happened?

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