AIBU to believe the widely used term"Terrible Twos?"

[MamaBear001]

Hello,

Darling DD 16 months is starting to tantrum a little, and it's got me nervous and full of dread for the upcoming "terrible twos."

Could OPs possible give me their experiences of the toddler stages? There are loads of popular myths around having kids I'm secretly hoping this is one of them (aha!).

Also, what techniques did you use for discipline and how did you et around the language barrier as DD isn't fully conversing yet?

Funny stories welcome too!

Thanks xx

Then they hit 3 and I wanted to send them back...... do you have a place in mind? I would like to send mine there too.

It lasts from around 15 months to four years, in my experience

Lower your expectations.
Pick your battles.

Learn to bribe well. I. E. 'If you put your shoes on you can press the dishwasher start button'.

If you give the child control (doesn't matter over what) they will behave. Or at least part of the time

Oh and you'll be judged OP, how you'll be judged. Specially at the park when you're kid chucks sand in someone's face.

Your kid, obv

Nope, no terrible two's here or threes or fours. Mine would happily sit and do jigsaws by himself for hours on end age 2. However I think that was my reward for the first 18 months of reflux hell and he didn't sleep through the night until age 2.

Yup 2 was a dream at 3 his childminder wouldn't have him anymore due to his wilfulness

Threes are the worst!!

Dd is was best when it came to sleep. Put her to bed and off she went. The last one week it's taking us an hour before she goes to sleep. Running up and down the stairs. Waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our bed leading to no sleep

I do think over three is worse because they understand what they are doing. Dd knows she is doing something wrong with a smirk on her face. Literally doing it to annoy and willingly refuse to listen.

I found a choice of two options worked well, always put the one your prefer last as its the one they are more likely to remember.

Then distraction, if they are starting to wobble.... oh look at that pink doggie out the window.... they never come immediately, so then .....never mind you missed it, maybe next time....and if you move fast you can steer them away from the issue that was causing the fuss to start with.

My 4 all made it through without killing me. 1 had terrible 2s, 2 had terrible 3s and the last angel child has been stubborn from the age of 8 and he is 11 now and still going strong.

Oh and the best technique of all. When you have the time, give them a choice of 2 options, and tell them..... this is a choice.....and then when you dont have the time, you tell them (note dont ask either by inflection of your voice or word selection) ...this one is not a choice.....I found that they accepted that some decisions could be a choice but not all of them. Mostly!

Another one saying the bastard threes make the terrible twos look like a walk in the park!

Gin is your answer....and no longer caring what others think, thick skin and a well stocked bar will serve you well 🍸

Must agree about age 3, dd2 has just turned 3 and her tantrums can be epic, we get half way to the school, she wants her buggy, won't budge to go home or to go school, so I have to scoop her up and carry a kicking and screaming 3 year old, oh they joys

What oldlaundbooth said. Plus ahaparenting.com is really good. The combination of using both means the terrible twos aren't really that terrible for me so far a few months in. Tantrums are often about control but also can be environmental eg tired, hungry, thirsty, overwhelmed. I don't really think of the terrible twos as about discipline but about helping children with their big emotions and to teach them how to manage them (this is the start, it will take them til they're adults to master the skills they need to learn to be happy adults). The ideas in ahaparenting.com and gentle parenting more generally (there is a website and facebook group and Sarah Ockwell Smith has a website and gentle discipline book) have transformed my experience of parenting, making it much less stressful, because I understand tantrums are ok and how to deal with them.

And I love the term threenagers it's such an appropriate one for them

The term terrible twos was coined by someone who clearly hadn't had a 3 year old yet
This!

"Terrible Twos" kicked in at about 20 months and continue to escalate daily (dd is 2 this week). The things that she throws a tantrum over are unbelievable! Haha.

Was reassuring myself that it won't last forever, however all the comments about 3 being worse are starting to scare me!

I evaded the terrible twos and being a 'threenager' but fucking fours have arrived in style here. Including the joy of screaming 'naughty mummy/daddy' every time we ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, such unreasonable requests include, going to the loo, getting dressed, cleaning teeth, leaving the house/park. Bribery does not work because he just says he doesn't want it. There is not enough gin in the world some nights.

Thanks I shall checkout the suggested info...

We're on holiday and she's whinged all day, perked up when swimming and doing fun things so I doubt it's anything really bothering her - overtired I guess.

You'd think maybe she'd be happy to be on holiday but nope!

Lots of giggles reading your posts!

Oh the joys x