About exes new partner

[TeenageDirtBags]

How do you really feel about your exes new partner? I feel I should be grateful as she does a lot for the kids but I just don't like her? AIBU? We were married for a long time.

You don't have to like her. You probably should be grateful, and civil with her though. I can't comment as me and dp are together but his ex hates me because she wanted them to get back together six years ago fair enough. Like I say we don't have to be friends but I wish we could be civil but we cant. She's certainly not grateful for me bringing up her child

How long ago was your split and what caused it?

Feelings are random and irrational. I remember 10 years after my closest friend got divorced she turned up at my house in floods of tears in the same way she did when she initially separated from her ex H.

Imo no-one needs to be friends and or even like each other all that much in a scenario such as you describe. But, what is crucial is mutual respect and a degree of cordiality if you are effectively going to be a blended family of sorts.

We split three yrs ago, they've been together two yrs or about that. She wasn't the reason for the split as she didn't meet him until after. This is why I feel unreasonable. She's never done anything to harm me and is good to the kids.

Dh and I have been together 19 years and married for ten.
His exw hates me with a passion to this day.
Made sure every time we had the 2 dsc there was a drama or an argument.
Damaged their relationships with him.
The nicer I was and the more fun we all had the worse she was.
I met her a handful of times and she was a foul mouthed horrible bitch.
my exh married 15years ago to someone who drank like him.
She was horrible to our dc to the point the police were called and she was arrested for drunk and Disordaly on several occasions, smashing up the house etc..
Our dc are older now and they visit exdh occasionally but have their own partners and dc now.
It's horrible what children go through when ex's Chang get on.

I am unclear why any one needs to be grateful to the new DP.

I want their DF to parent and look after them

My Exs now EX DP emotionally abused and excluded my DCS from their weak willed fathers life - I sure as hell do not feel grateful for her for doing this.

I can understand you feeling that way, but my point is she's not being unkind and I still don't like her.

Well if she hasn't done anything wrong and you still don't like her, without wanting to sound harsh, it's your issue then isn't it? Do you still have unresolved feelings about him/the split? Would counselling help?

The children will pick up on it and it'll make them feel uncomfortable/torn

Op you posted before about delaying your divorce just because you could if I remember correctly.

You need to let go.



She's not a new partner if they've been together two years.

I'm sure she is ok with you not liking her. I wouldn't think about it any more TBH.
Her world and yours will still turn regardless of your feelings towards each other. All it has to be is a civil and respectful relationship. Liking on either side is merely a bonus.

Op I might be confusing you with someone else but isn't this your third thread in a few days about your ex and his partner?

Honestly? I have a DSD, a DD and a second DD due any day now and it is often bloody hard work. I try my best and I've probably gotten it wrong a few times but no matter what I do or however long it's been, even though they split up long before we got together, I'm always the one who stopped him running back to her to play happy families. We've been married for three years, together six years, yet my DH's ex thinks it's healthy to 'remind' her DD that my DDs are 'only' her half sisters. It's petty and childish. Don't be that woman.

Have you considered one day you may have a new DP and his ex could be saying these hurtful things about you?

Bloody hell this is the third thread about your ex and/or his girlfriend in a week. Get a life of your own and butt out of theirs.

My ExH is happier when he's in a relationship and DS doesn't worry about him so much. So I be glad, but I don't give it that much head space tbh.

I've been with my partner 10 years, have absolutely NOTHING to do with their split, but his ex will not have me mentioned, and has caused numerous problems because of this.
I, on the other hand, actively liked MY exes new wife, but was not surprised when she split up with him as he's an arsehole.
These tangled webs we weave!

Yes I've posted three times. I'm going through a tough time, that's what this forum is supposed to help with isn't it??

Why are you focusing so much on their relationship? Do you want him back?

I think most people are wondering why you are finding it so tough? He's your ex for a reason and three years is a long time to be separated and still have these feelings. Do you want him back?

Maybe when you're feeling like this it would be best to think of all the reasons you are not together or the ways in which your life has improved not being in an unhappy relationship.

I think you need to focus on you, start dating again, so stuff you enjoy. Your ex has moved on now and you need to accept that. You don't ever have to like his new partner but you do need to be civil else you risk being painted as the villain.