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How to deal with my grabby/lazy DB

5 replies

ncbacktoblack · 29/07/2017 19:11

I'm in my late 20s and live with my DM. Pay for everything as she can't work due to illness. I've been diagnosed with depression and I've really been struggling lately.

I loaned my brother £2500 to finish his masters, rent etc until he graduates in January. Last month he was told he'd failed too many modules and was being kicked off the course. That money was for rent and he's blown through it in two months and is now broke :( hes made our agreed repayments so far but every time hes been late. he's working full time but has kicked up a big fuss with DM about paying rent, calling her 'money grabbing'.

He does nothing in the house. Doesn't cook a meal, but eats what we make. Doesn't even set the table when we're cooking it, just stands there like moron. Never picks up the hoover or does the bathroom.

In December while we were out the dog flooded the house (lifted the lever tap after knocking toilet roll in the sink) and ruined all the downstairs carpets. DB should have been home by 10 to keep an eye on him but rocked in at 4pm because he was too hungover to come home at the promised time. He won $4000 on poker and didn't offer to contribute a penny towards replacement carpets, so I had to do it because our insurance had lapsed.

I'm fed up of him. When I speak to him he gets really aggressive. He called me a cunt the other day because I said how disappointed I was that he'd blown his loan in 2 months instead of 7 with no rent to pay. What do I do?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 29/07/2017 19:16

Would your mum consider kicking him out?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/07/2017 19:19

I think it's your mum's call as it's her house. Whilst I wouldn't pander to him, I'd try to avoid falling out as it'll give him an excuse not to repay you.

Rhubarbtart9 · 29/07/2017 19:33

Stop cooking for him unless he pays rent. But yes it's your mums call, she should ask him to leave. She should have been insured so the carpet thing wasn't your brothers fault.

Rhubarbtart9 · 29/07/2017 19:35

Sit down together and ask everyone to put their names down for which ever jobs they prefer. Then write up a rota.

BarbarianMum · 29/07/2017 20:12

Is this really how you are prepared to live and, if so, for how long? I think your mental health and finances might inprove if you move out. You are responsible neither for your mum nor your brother.

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