(Adult) DS and hygiene

[baileysicecream]

DS is 19 and he is ASD.

Hygiene is a huge issue. Lately I have been noticing an unpleasant smell. I politely asked DS to wash his feet at once. He did so but the smell lingered.

I think the issue is he just isn't washing properly when in the shower and he takes showers far too infrequently.

Also won't cut his hair.

Sigh.

What to do? IS there anything I can do?

I'd be brutal and tell him he has a hygiene problem

I have!

Are you sure he hasn't got a fungus infection? If a wash in the shower doesn't help then he made need something stronger.

Dp has ungodly hoofs but soaks them in a dettol foot bath now and then and it makes a huge difference.

If he's keeping his hair clean I'd leave that battle alone for now personally.

And what does he say when you tell him
He smells? Doesn't he care?

I'll try that, thanks.

I don't think he does Moany

In fairness I've never ever noticed BO type odours. Just his feet.

How much understanding does he have? I ask that gently because I have a son aged 5 with asd and his cognitive understanding is far below his peers (more like a 2 year old). Does he need a chart or visual prompts to break it down into stages- for example, soak body in water, use hands to apply shower gel to sponge or hands, rub all over etc - sounds crazy but maybe he's overwhelmed with what he should be doing?

On the other hand.... my dh used to know an older teen with asd (18) and when his mum used to nag him for a shower he used to go and run the water and just sit by the shower and then get dressed in other clothes and come downstairs. He just didn't like to wash!

It's very difficult. Are there any particular shower gels or smells he prefers?

If it's just feet have you checked whether it's his trainers/shoes? My DH has excellent hygiene but fucking hell, his trainers are foul.

I have smelly feet too!

You need to make himnshower every day - explain that it's offensive to others -

You can't force him but his friend will notice - will he shop for some expensive shower gels etc? Or aftershave?

I have a son with ASD, I realise this won't work for everyone but I just got my son in the routine of having a shower every day straight after I have mine.
The hair thing no idea mine hates having it cut but I start nagging about that after 8-10 weeks then will be cut after 12-14 weeks.

Does he live in one pair of shoes? If so chuck em out and boil wash all the socks too.

Is he wearing shoes/sandals without socks? That always makes feet stink as the bacteria grow. So socks with shoes and deoderants to spray shoes after use might help. Also regularly changing shoes so hes not always wearing the same ones.

I've smelled his trainers (gross, I know, but these are desperate times!) and they don't smell! It's his actual feet. I think it is shower gel/soap that's the source of the problem. He doesn't like shower gel so will only use Dove soap but I think he just washes his armpits and genitals/bum.

I am assuming,by the way. I have not asked!

He does have good understanding but where he doesn't understand his the effect this has on him socially. I wouldn't care but he does have a job and I'm a bit worried he's going to lose it for looking scruffy.

Ah... also slippers without socks can be terrible.

Get him to soak his feet in warm water with tea tree oil in it , it will kill the bacteria

The only thing that helps me with smelly feet is washing them with bar soap, shower gel just doesn't seem to was as well as actual soap. Perhaps he could try that.

*wash

Has it always been the same way or is it suddenly worse?