STBXH's GF calling the shots.

[TeenageDirtBags]

I've posted before and got flamed for not being keen on helping my divorce go quicker. Took your advice and made an appt at the solicitors and got things moving so thanks. I feel much better.

On a separate issue, I've just had a conversation with STBXH. He's having the kids more over the summer hols so I can work a few more hours and because he wants to. His GF is living with him and he's asked that the kids come back to me for one night so she can have a break!!!! He's having them every 2nd week for the hols.

I've told him she chose him knowing he had kids and so it's her problem. AIBU does she have a point? They're not her kids and I'm not sure how I'd cope with a fella with kids?

How long have they been an item?

I am a SM, have been for 10 years now and I do get that she may need to get away from them now and again however that is for her to remove herself from the situation, not for the children to come back to you.

They've been an item for 3 yrs. no it's definitely her calling the shots. Poor exhausted woman working. She wants to try having kids to know what exhaustion is.

Say yes, that's fine, you can have them during my week so i get a break

Alright… I’m not sure what the backstory is here, but you sound like you really dislike this woman. Why?
You don’t know it’s her calling the shots (unless you were in the room with them when they discussed it.) And exhaustion isn’t a competition between women who have children and women who don’t

Working full time and coming home to someone else’s teenagers is exhausting. SMs don’t have the unconditional love that parents have for their DC. We have to work hard at forming a relationship with the kids and maintaining it without overstepping or neglecting our own needs.

Anyway, it’s clear you don’t want to help them out, so don’t. It’s not your problem so just tell your ex the arrangements stay as originally agreed and let them sort it out themselves.

I'd say that's a case of tough shit really brazen

If she's chosen to move in with a man with shared care, she needs to suck it up.

"Working full time and coming home to someone else’s teenagers is exhausting."

Depends on the teens, doesn't it?

Perhaps they spend a lot of time in the communal areas to be with their dad?

A lot of teens only seem to appear at mealtimes!

'She's wants to try having kids to know what exhaustion is'

Oh good, OP. Thank you for that utterly pointless and goady post.

Hope you take the advice given on here to calmly and maturely speak to your ex.

Who has contact weeks for adult children?

The children are not adults, the people looking after them are.

Ahhhh I see OP. Nice bit of drip feeding there.
Have you spoken to him yet?

If you care to read the original post you'll see it's perfectly clear!!

Either he or she doesn't like having sex with the DC's around to hear them?

Just say no.The arrangement for every other week is for the children.Adults get a break every other week.No arguing,justifying,discussion.

I am sure the stepmum had a thread going on this a week or so ago.

They have your children 50% of the time. I imagine you're All as tired as one another