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To think DD has ASD/ADHD - worrying symptoms

12 replies

packofshunts · 29/07/2017 10:10

a long time I've had concerns about DD's inability to make or sustain friendships and her behaviour in general. However DH just thinks she is a self-confident, bossy girl!

The behaviours she exhibits include:
Vocally very loud
Verbal diarrhoea, interrupts, contradicts. Her view/opinion must come first
Limited impulse control and self-regulation of behaviour. Can't stop doing whatever it is until the situation escalates
V bossy, always correcting people, telling people where they are going wrong
Inability to sustain friendships; makes a new 'BFF' one day then says that person is horrible within a couple of days
Always saying people "don't understand" her and often comes out of school saying there has been a falling out over something she doesn't understand ,
Becomes obsessed with a project than instantly moves on
No difference in behaviour at home if rewards or sanctions used.

She is gifted in drama so for a long time all this behaviour was just wrapped up as being "luvvy" inclined but I see it as way more than that and am now worried for her as she
Moves into year 5

We did approach the school a while back who did acknowledge that she is one a kind, but apart from a tendency to interrupt and fall out with people they didn't see a problem. I'm not convinced anymore.

12 DS can't bear to her around any of his friends as says she just has no "off button" and says the most excruciating embarrassing things to them 

Where do I go with this. She is emotinally mature enough to sometimes recognise her behaviour and gets upset about it but seems unable to change anything. Any help very gratefully received.

OP posts:

packofshunts · 29/07/2017 10:11

She is 10 yo

OP posts:

PassedTheMoronTest · 29/07/2017 10:20


I really feel your frustration, I have a son with Aspergers, have you spoken to your GP perhaps they could do a referral?


moomoogalicious · 29/07/2017 10:25

just place marking as we are starting the process for our 14yo dd. her behaviours include all of yours plus: stimming, extreme and violent tantrums eg up until the age of 12 perhaps 5 or 6 each day every day usually after school, no friends ever (which i understand as she is very hard work and comes across as rude), issues with gender identity. I'm on my phone so can't really list them all. her siblings are scared of her because of her agression. i think in isolation her behaviours could be considered normal but when put together they paint a picture. she has shown these behaviours since she was a toddler and because she is my first i thought it was normal/my shit parenting/a phase Hmm etc. i have posted on here over the years in desperation. I

things have come to a head and she is struggling at school despite being 'gifted' academically. I've also noticed that the difference between her and her peers/siblings is becoming more marked.

sorry i can't help you but wanted to say trust your instincts and you're not alone.


packofshunts · 29/07/2017 12:13

Thanks for your replies; I feel certainly something is going in.

She doesn't throw tantrums (instead has an unnerving singlemindedness to just do what she wants to do before it's even been noticed);

No problem with eye contact and normal language development; in fact people always used to assume she was much older than her years

Much prefers to be with older children, finding it much more difficult socialising with same age or younger kids

Sleeps very well

OP posts:

CrohnicallyPregnant · 29/07/2017 12:36

It does sound like Asperger's is a possibility. There is a lot of interest and research around girls with AS at the moment- it seems like it's not 4:1 boy:girl ratio, but that girls are underdiagnosed. It's not uncommon for girls to mask or camouflage their difficulties until they get to an age where social demands are higher and their learned strategies fail. A common age for this is around age 10. I was diagnosed with AS at 29 and lot of what you wrote resonates with me.


Runninglikeamummy · 29/07/2017 12:38

I'd say Aspergers too and I'd also say have a look at PDA.


Curious2468 · 29/07/2017 12:44

Does she have other markers? And repetitive behaviours or interests. On its own I wouldn't jump to asd (I have 2 on the spectrum) but as part of a bigger picture it could well be. How is she with last minute changes, upset routines, sensory stuff etc?


BusyBodd · 29/07/2017 12:45

Parent of Aspergers child here (now adult) - I would talk to GP and school? School shared concerns we had and referred to a paediatrician and after a very detailed assessment we got a diagnosis. This was at secondary but it had been pretty obvious for years. At secondary school DS started to get into trouble with teachers because of behaviours so we asked for a diagnosis so he could be supported rather than penalised - so for us and him it was a great help.

It's often harder, I understand, to get a diagnosis with girls because of the ways girls are often socialised so fit in, so the signs sometimes aren't as obvious.

But my DS was classic on the eye contact thing, and actually still is (mid 20s) but you would never spot it because he has learned that he must look at people at the top of their nose and does that, so you feel like he is making eye contact but actually isn't. I'm always impressed and proud of how well he has done, consciously teaching himself the social skills to get on, that NT people do without thinking. In fact people usually say how charming and pleasant he is proud mama Smile


packofshunts · 29/07/2017 13:10

Seemingly fine with last minute changes, doesn't get overly riled if a plan moves. Checks the time a lot of guests are expected and if they're late will keep telling me by how long

not keen on loud noises (hates music concerts/live bands)

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BlueUggs · 29/07/2017 13:13

She sounds very much like my DS who is 6 and we are currently awaiting assessment for ASD.


Curious2468 · 29/07/2017 15:04

Hmm still tricky but worth seeing what a paed thinks. I think mothers instinct is often right. My 10 year old is diagnosed and she isnt keen on changes of plan, dislikes change (think things like meltdowns over neighbours tree being chopped down, something in the wrong place in the hall etc). She has sensory issues so difficulties with certain foods, hates noises (is scared of the hoover still!!) comments on smells, will only wear joggers etc. She will spin, pace or roll about when stressed, hides under tables etc. Have the school noticed any issues? How is she with her work? Does she have difficulty with reading between the lines and inferring info etc? I think people are sometimes quick to jump to asd without realising it's so much more than a few quirks or being a bit socially awkward. That said they aren't likely to diagnose unless they see evidence across all the areas so there is nothing to be lost by investigating further. With girls the issues tend to get much more obvious the older they get and it's not uncommon for issues to start around 10 as relationships get more complicated.


packofshunts · 29/07/2017 17:33

So have just had an afternoon of her showing off infront of visitors - inappropriate "twerking" dancing, shouting, laughing hysterically - taking no notice of me or DH when being told to stop

OP posts:
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