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Wedding present question

16 replies

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/07/2017 20:08

I have been invited to a friend's wedding later this year. As happens quite often now, they originally said they didn't want any presents as have been living together for some years now (and already have a DC).

But this has now changed, with them asking for contributions towards their honeymoon.

I have already bought them a gift (just something I saw a while ago which I thought would suit them/make them smile). And it was over 28 days ago so can't return it, and can't think of anyone else to give it to (it was bought specifically with them in mind).

So WIBU to just give them the gift and not a cash present? I think the former would be fine, just don't want to cause offence! So just wanted opinions.

OP posts:

Needsomeflapjacks · 28/07/2017 20:09

Original gift and a bottle of sun cream. . Grabby buggars. .


Moanyoldcow · 28/07/2017 20:10

When I got married I said 'no list, no presents required but if you'd like to get us something anything you choose or honeymoon contributions are gratefully received'.

This seems a similar situation and I'd have been very happy with any gift at all.


Moanyoldcow · 28/07/2017 20:14

Why do people think it's grabby? I had a nice low key wedding, provided 3 courses, evening food, all booze all night. I didn't expect gifts but people buy them and most people I know would much rather give something wanted.

I think this is generational too. I was at a wedding a couple of months ago and they'd set up a website to contribute to the honeymoon. Guests were raving about how convenient it was.


WiganPierre · 28/07/2017 20:47

It is grabby and rude. Just give the gift you've already bought.


Ameliablue · 28/07/2017 20:55

Give your gift. They've probably asked for money towards honeymoon as guests have insisted they want to get something.


Madwoman5 · 28/07/2017 21:03

Gift them. A lot more personal than money.


AliTheMinx · 28/07/2017 21:07

Absolutely give your gift - it's thoughtful and personal. You sound like a wonderful friend!


AgreeableH · 28/07/2017 21:12

They will appreciate whatever you give x


RuggerHug · 28/07/2017 21:15

Give the gift. If they dare complain you didn't give cash you can tell them it was purchased before their request.


thepatchworkcat · 28/07/2017 21:17

People get so cross on here about couples asking for money as wedding gifts! I don't see how it's any more grabby or rude than the old wedding list of random household items. Literally every wedding I've been to as an adult, the couple have asked for money. And it doesn't mean you HAVE to but it's just that most guests like to know what to get! We were given lots of money/vouchers and then a couple of actual gifts too which were really nice. One relative insisted on buying us an appliance we didn't really want, that didn't last more than a few months. Not sure why that's better than giving us money but their choice Confused.

Give the gift - they won't mind! The money suggestion is just that, it's not compulsory!


putdownyourphone · 28/07/2017 21:19

Give them the gift absolutely. But I have been to 7 weddings in the past 2 years and every single one has asked for money, and I don't mind at all! Makes it a lot easier than buying a gift. It's just on MN that people call it 'grabby'


AdoraBell · 28/07/2017 21:25

Original gift and a nice card. Wish them a fab honeymoon and you can't wait to hear about their travels when they get home.


AtHomeDadGlos · 28/07/2017 21:57

Just give it.


klaw87 · 28/07/2017 22:02

We are one of those 'grabby' couples that asked for money :) We also got some really lovely personal gifts though which we still treasure 4 years later - I'd give the gift you had already picked out as I'm sure they will love that you've been so thoughtful


GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/07/2017 11:49

Thank you all for responses, will go with the gift.

OP posts:

2014newme · 29/07/2017 11:50

Give the gift

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