Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


Aibu about upcoming holiday ?

15 replies

organixeveryday · 28/07/2017 16:56

On Sunday I go on holiday (child free) with DP, for 8 days to far away , hot and sunny climes.
Now I would be all excited about this since I haven't ever been anywhere further than the tip of Africa and a few European countries (dp has travelled extensively and comes from Oz) but I can't help but feel depressed about all the stuff at home which I get a temporary physical break from but no mental offloading.
My mum was told a week ago that her tumour has regrown and she has 6 months maximum to live so this week has been frantic childcare searching for DS and hospice visiting.
DS (almost 2) has been really playing up , probably as a consequence of being left with numerous friends (almost strangers to him anyway) so I can get to appointments etc.
The usual worries about pension plans and house buying due to being a sahm.
How DS will be with ex (holiday contact time.
Being pregnant and having all of the above to contend with!

Someone please cheer me up!

OP posts:

PumpkinPie2016 · 28/07/2017 17:02

Firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your mum - how awful for you Sad I'm not supposed you feel as you do.

I'm sure your DS will be fine with his dad and although he probably is playing up because of everything this week rest assured that he will remember none of it! Can you talk to your ex and explain what's happened so that he is prepared and can perhaps organise a special treat for your son?

Personally, for now, I would put on hold thinking about pension plans/houses - just focus on you and your family.

Be extra kind to yourself - it's an extremely difficult thing you are going through, sending you strength and Flowers


PumpkinPie2016 · 28/07/2017 17:03

Surprised not supposed!


TwitterQueen1 · 28/07/2017 17:03

And this is why you need a holiday. It's not about forgetting all of the above, it's about getting a new perspective on it - seeing it all with fresh eyes.


Sirzy · 28/07/2017 17:06

See it as a way to "charge your batteries" ready for what sadly sounds like a tough few months ahead.

Go, relax, have fun.


organixeveryday · 28/07/2017 17:10

You're right. I was sitting in the oncology unit on Tuesday waiting for her to be cannulated for her temporary chemo and was just thinking hmm In a week I'll be on a beach but really will I feel guilty.
Agh. Meant to be getting engaged out there and don't even feel excited about that , just grumpy because I've organised every bit of it!

OP posts:

Sirzy · 28/07/2017 17:14

Do you think your Mum would want you to feel guilty or do you think she would want you to go and enjoy yourself? Your holiday adventures will give you something fun and different to talk about when you are back too as often hospital conversations can get pretty boring when the normal topics have been exhausted!


organixeveryday · 28/07/2017 17:15

She wants me to go of course , but I can't help but feel guilty.
I haven't really said about where I'm going as it's quite an amazing location and I don't want people to start judging me for going there (sahm so how can you afford etc , leaving your mum behind)

OP posts:

SuperDandy · 28/07/2017 17:27

People who judge are really just giving you an easy way to filter them out as not being your friends. They are aresholes, who know no better, and hey, lucky them, but they don't get to make you feel bad about making the right choices.

I've been in similar shoes. Go, relax, refresh, trust your ex with ds. Come back lighter, rested and ready to go again. It's going to be a tough ride.


PumpkinPie2016 · 28/07/2017 18:07

Anyone who judged you, especially in the current circumstances doesn't deserve any head space!

Go away and relax/do whatever you want to do - you deserve the break especially when you're going to need all of your strength in the coming.months x


Mummyoflittledragon · 28/07/2017 18:52

You should totally be going! Try to relax and have a good time.


organixeveryday · 28/07/2017 20:05

Yes they've got their judgy pants hoiked right up!
Dp came home from the office shouting about how it was the holidays now so that's made it a bit better I suppose , and DS went to sleep quickly too.

OP posts:

TooStressyForMyOwnGood · 28/07/2017 20:07

Bloody hell, nobody should be judging you! Flowers. You deserve a holiday and it will be something to talk about with your mum when you get back Flowers.


Tinkerbec · 28/07/2017 20:18

Go and have a lovely time.

Feeling guilty and worrying will not change a single thing. However you relaxing and having an amazing time will give you a new vigour and it certainly sounds like you deserve this break.


organixeveryday · 28/07/2017 22:14

Thank you all, going to be more cheerful about it now! Will update once im there !

OP posts:

5foot5 · 28/07/2017 23:24

This is probably the best time to go away.

You are not needed right now. But you will be in a while. So it is positively your duty to relax, recharge and have a good time so that you are in a better place to cope with what lies ahead.

Your DS will be fine pensions will wait.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?