To think children suffering from anxiety is growing?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

I suspect some of the growth that I see is that we all understand a lot more about MH issues and there's not as much stigma as there used to be.

So kids who would once have been called naughty are now understood more.

But it really bothers me that I read so many posts on here and other forums about anxiety in children. :(

My DD is 13 and two of her mates suffer from it...one quite badly.

I often read about it on here too. Has it always been so rife? Is it just that we talk about it now?

I agree Witsend. If I could like that post, I would.

I can also see Witsender social media pressure, parental expectations and peer pressure certainly have a lot to answer for. Although there was also huge pressure in relation to exams when I was at school and a worry about the influence of Tv and magazines. DDs friends are already talking about university at age 12/13 - my only thoughts were about the next issue of Smash Hits and boys

At the same time, I know that of DDs school friends who like to create a fuss and a drama blaming their 'anxiety'. They like to post sad face pictures on social media is inviting friends to ask if they are ok - this is attention seeking.

I have been teaching a child who is disruptive and insolent recently. On dealing with it as per the discipline policy he has argued that he has been diagnosed with anxiety. That may well be the case but it doesn't in any way excuse his behaviour. In another capacity I have seen a great awareness of MH issues and anxiety talked about by teenagers recently. There is very definitely increased awareness of it very recently.

I sometimes wonder about the community ties thing- i.e. whether the loosening of community ties is a bad thing- in one way I can see it's increased loneliness, but it's probably also improved inclusiveness of outsiders and for some people, the rules set by their "community" must have been a source of misery, so I don't think it's a one way street.

I definitely think the concentration of capital which has torn the middle out the ladder of social mobility has a lot to do with it. It's like if you don't grab a high enough rung from the trampoline of education, you're on the bins.

Personally, MH is a big priority for me as a parent. I think boundaries, making kids feel secure within the family, and rewarding effort vs achievement are important. I also try not to get overly involved when I believe they have the capacity to resolve things themselves. I know some people are prone to MH issues and theres nothing that can be done, but I do think the current trends whereby DC grow up way too fast in some ways but have zero "real" independence at the same time isn't helpful.

Meditation would be most helpful if it was taught in schools from an early age.

A lot of schools do mindfulness classes.

That's great, hopefully this increases.

The pressure on them is so much greater. If they want to go to a good university/college/conservatoire they are no longer competing just with their peers in this country but on a worldwide basis.

GCSEs are about to be graded 1-9 - my DDs school has said they can only come back for 6th form if they achieve an average of 6 over 8 subjects - that's more than 8 Bs on the current system.

DD1 wants to go to a conservatoire to study music. When I was at school Grade 8 with distinction was enough to get in. Nowadays most entrants seem to have a postgraduate diploma. She's a pianist and it has been a nightmare getting her academic teachers to understand that music is not a hobby - her competition is in the Far East and probably doing 3+ hours of practice a day.

Not surprising children have anxiety really is it?

Parents can do mindfulness- there are tonnes of apps. This trend of leaving everything to schools is part of the issue.

I don't believe there is more pressure on young people nowadays only differrent pressures. I can imagine being a child in war time, being evacuated, seeing your dad go off to war, being bombed was pretty pressured. Leaving school at 15 and getting a job, any job because your parents really needed the extra money to help feed younger siblings. Run down housing estates and slum clearance were still evident up until the early seventies. Or if you go back to earlier generations, striving to keep body and soul together and your family out of the workhouse must have been fairly pressured. One thing is clear though raising bubble wrapped children does not help them to grow up resiliant.

I don't know who or where these bubble wrapped young people are. I don't recognise that description in my teenagers and their friends. Quite the opposite in fact. Most of them are in single parent families, with a full time working mother and very little money to go round, juggling hard work at school with far more homework than there used to be and part-time jobs. And then all the pressure we had as teenagers magnified by about 100.

My experience is the opposite Somer, DD and her friends live pretty comfortable lives compared to my time growing up. They have opportunities to do lots of activities outside school, go on holidays abroad, have been on amazing school trips, they spend lots of time with their friends and have sleepovers and days out. My parents didn't have the time, money or inclination to do these things. I'm not saying that they have it easy but all generations growing up have struggles but it seems that only this generation has suffered so much with anxiety.

Our anxiety/depression goes back at least to my grandfather's generation, but there's never been a name for it until my dd got diagnosed. For at least 3 generations before that the family just bore the brunt of it and coped as best they could. My grandmother carried my grandfather, I carried my DM. It really wasn't an ideal situation. The fact that dd is able to tell herself that she has a problem and has been able to access help means that she has been able to go on and make the most of her gifts, which my DM was quite unable to do.

2ducks I agree with your points. There's definitely less resilience these days, and I do think it's a lot to do with over protective behaviour and an inability to deal with failure/adversity. Well over half of the 16-18 year olds I have hired in the past few years have really struggled with adjusting to the "real world". I do think social media holds a lot of responsibility too.

The young people I see around me are more in the situation described by Somer than that described by Sunshine. Our family is not that badly off, but certainly not as comfortable as we were when I grew up, and we also have the added stress of disability to deal with. But the anxiety seems pretty constant.