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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let my kids watch 12 & 12A movies?

49 replies

PodeTheBogeySlayer · 27/07/2017 22:09

I have 2 DSs, aged 4 and 6, most of my eldest's friends have seen all the Avengers movies, all the newer Star Wars movies etc, etc. My husband and I feel our kids are too young and that there's plenty of time for that when they're a bit older. Why does everyone want their kids to grow up so quickly?!

I don't want them to feel like they're missing out and I don't want to be those big bad parents that don't let their kids do stuff, but it just feels like its unnecessarily exposing them to stuff they don't need to see.

Part of the issue is I was shown films too young and for example can't go in the ocean past my waist height from watching Jaws too young. I'm working on it, but for years I couldn't even look at pictures of sharks without having nightmares. I couldn't go in shaped swimming pools in fear there was something hiding round the corner. I don't want that for my kids.

I'm also anti the whole guns and violence thing which I know is par for the course with boys, he does enough already without being allowed to watch stuff!! Am I kidding myself or do I (ahem) stick to my guns?

OP posts:

Notso · 27/07/2017 23:00

Although I wouldn't take my 6 and 5 year old kids to watch a 12/12a in the cinema or put the DVD on when films come on TV I admit I assume they are family viewing so they have been exposed to some of the films you mention. I say exposed to because they don't tend to sit and watch them from beginning to end, they get fed up and go and play or go to bed.
I have a 12 year old and 17 year old who have been allowed to watch 12 films in the cinema at 10ish.

indigox · 27/07/2017 23:09

Watching superhero movies isn't making a child grow up quickly.

corythatwas · 27/07/2017 23:16

I was definitely on the stricter side but I still preferred using my own judgment about what I thought would be inappropriate for my children rather than deciding the censor was always right.

"Aimed for older children" is such a fluffy term. As a child I read all sorts of books that were definitely not aimed for children, some of them I understood, some of them I didn't, but the harm bit only came in when something was definitely scary or inappropriate, not just with it being a bit difficult or going over my head.

geekone · 28/07/2017 10:06

Superhero films 12a good verses evil good wins.

Disney film PG man gets kidnapped girl takes his place has to live with kidnapper Stockholm syndrome ensues. She now loves abusive spoiled imprisoner but it's ok as under the skin if every abusive guy is a heart of gold

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 28/07/2017 10:11

i think DC1 started watching 12/12As at about 8, when she was old enough to follow the more complex plot.

DC2 is 6. SHe'd pretty sanguine, and I so I'm not overly concerned about her being scared, but I simply don't think she has the concentration or comprehension for 12/12As.

Italiangreyhound · 28/07/2017 10:35

geekone, yes. You are right it I'd a pretty craps idea for the woman. Most fairy tales are!

RedSkyAtNight · 28/07/2017 10:36

My rationale was that a film was rated 12/12A for a reason and whilst some might be appropriate for a 10/11 year old to watch they were very unlikely to be suitable for DC younger than that or they would have been given a PG rating.

Unfortunately, as with OP, I've found myself very much in a minority with DC's friends/parents most of whom were quite happy to let their DC watch 12s from about 6/7. I tend to believe this is more down to the parents wanting them to watch them to show how advanced their DC are rather than any specific desire of the DC.

Alpacaandgo · 28/07/2017 11:17

I wouldn't let mine watch a 12 at that age. There's so many great films suited to their age. At this age they have such active imaginations and can't always process properly fiction versus reality.

MissionItsPossible · 28/07/2017 12:01

On a side note, I hate the 12A rating. Either make it a 12 or make it a PG. It makes more sense than the American rating 'R' though, as I understand you have to be over 17 unaccompanied but if accompanied by an over 18 then someone as young as 3 can watch.

thatsnotmyrat · 28/07/2017 12:10

We use common sense media if we aren't sure. It has a rating the kids give and one that adults give. We read the comments and make a case by case decision. DC's are 9 but they don't see much that isn't PG, it has been assessed and I tend to think that they have a whole life time to see films so there isn't that much of a rush.

AnneGrommit · 28/07/2017 12:16

I think that part of the problem with the Marvel issue is that there is so much merchandising aimed at under 7s that it has become part of their landscape and so they want to watch the films. It has also led to a popular perception that this content is suitable for children young enough to play with themed toys.

Some of them are sort of okay for younger children but a lot of them are really not. It's a shame that this has happened and goes against the Marvel tradition which was always aimed at older comic buying children of 10+.

AnneGrommit · 28/07/2017 12:19

Edit: maybe 8+. Old enough to have regular pocket money and have a strategy for spending it on comics.

AaoograhaHoa · 28/07/2017 12:20

My DS has been watching avengers/marvel/DrWho etc and reading "older books" since he was 6. He is nearly 9 now and shows no signs of terrible mental scarring or inappropriate behavior.

apart from being a fun shared experience - Its a great opportunity to discuss things like language use - what is swearing and when is it appropriate/not appropriate to use it. And stroytelling - reality versus fiction and the lines.He always has loads of questions and enjoys the storylines. If something scares or confuses him we talk about it! Its great for opening up topics for s to chat about.

I really don't understand this thing of "oh my kids are to young because it says they are on the box/cover/certificate" - it depends on the kid. Children are really smart - if you just give them some time and explain things properly I find they cope well with most things.

Are you going to stop them watching the news too? Which IMO is far worse than any avengers 12/12a in terms of adult themes and violence...

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 28/07/2017 12:20

I would watch a 12A first before deciding upon the suitability of it for my 5 year old. He was upset when the Greendale Rocket detached from the train engine and when Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy were covered in mud inside the Ninky-Nonk! Though he was 2 and a half then!

Even so, my 5 year old cannot sustain movie never mind one with some adult content and where action is interspersed with calm, spoken moments.

I took him to the cinema last summer aged 4 to watch Dory. 20 minutes before the end he wanted to know when it was home time!

I would be shocked if any child under the age of 8 had the attention span to watch a 90 minute plus movie. For me, it's a bit worrying.

AaoograhaHoa · 28/07/2017 12:25

"I would be shocked if any child under the age of 8 had the attention span to watch a 90 minute plus movie. For me, it's a bit worrying."

So you don't expect your children to be able to cope with lessons across a school day then, or to be able to read a book independently, or listen to a concert, or even play on a kindle/ipad for any length of time? By the age of 8?!? That is WAY more worrying to me. young doesn't = not able to concentrate...

Natsku · 28/07/2017 12:26

Film ratings can be really weird at times so I wouldn't decide based on the actual rating but look more into why the rating is what it is. For example in my country Billy Elliot is rated a k-7 so suitable for anyone aged 7 or over but in the UK I'm pretty sure it was a 15!

DD is 6 so for her I avoid things that are too scary (she can't deal with suspense) or have more than minimal slapstick violence but not fussed about swearing or nudity.

LetBartletBeBartlet · 28/07/2017 12:29

I only let dd (10) watch 12A movies if I've watched them first or have done my research on the likes of Imdb Parent's guide.

We've watched LOADS of movies (she spent a lot of time ill when younger), so it's not as if there isn't a lot of choice for U/PG movies for younger children.

thatsnotmyrat · 28/07/2017 12:30

Aaoo, you are right the news is at times worse than a 12a and yes I do censor that as well. Newsround is okay and we talk about it but I wouldn't encourage them to watch all the news stories on main channels and don't let them watch the rolling coverage of tragedies. I think there is a balance to be found between informing my DC and protecting them.

gamerwidow · 28/07/2017 12:31

12A are parental advisory so if you don't think your children are ready then that's your call.
DD(7) has watched some 12s and been fine and others we've had to turn off because she's found them frightening. It depends on the reason for the certificate if it's just a bit of swearing or mild sexual content then it's fine because it goes over her head but if it's violent or has supernatural elements she'll get anxious.

scottishdiem · 28/07/2017 12:32

Each parent needs to go with whats best for their children. Of course ratings are a bit odd. I mean, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a PG. It has peoples faces melting at the end but never mind.

Mind you - "Why does everyone want their kids to grow up so quickly?!"

This is such a judgey comment. May as well ask you why you want your kids to stay in nappies and not know about anything in the big bad world of entertainment that you dont want them to know about. I mean, who wants children to play with their friends as peers who can share the same experiences, same enjoyment and same cultural references. Whilst some boys at that age some boys will be able to share a love of star wars with their fathers and grandfathers (we are now in the third generation for these series releases). Just keep them in in pre-school and chat about in the night garden or something.....

AnneGrommit · 28/07/2017 12:49

Aaroograha all of what you are describing sounds like you having to give your ds coping strategies in order to process and deal with content that he doesn't understand or has messages he finds confusing. I guess at least you do it but I'm kind of wondering why. These films are clearly not made for six year olds and there are plenty that are which do not necessitate such an involved and convoluted post watch analysis.

MissionItsPossible · 28/07/2017 12:50

Each parent needs to go with whats best for their children. Of course ratings are a bit odd. I mean, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a PG. It has peoples faces melting at the end but never mind.

If that was released today it would have been a 12 I reckon, but 12 didn't exist back then and it doesn't warrant a 15

I'm sure I read that Indiana Jones Temple of Doom was the reason why the 12 rating was created, because they couldn't let it pass as a PG like its predecessor.

TooGood2BeFalse · 28/07/2017 13:29

My elder son is 5 and a half and I never let him watch anything than kiddy stuff. He is a really sensitive little fellow and gets upset by anything too emotional or scary (he cried at an episode of Peppa Pig when no one could get baby Alexander to stop crying). He has HFA but to be honest I see this part of him as completely separate, he is just genuinely empathic and sensitive. He refuses to play with any weapon type toys e.g. toy guns, bows and arrows etc because he doesn't like to 'pretend to give ouchies'.

However, I do have relatives and friends that will let their kids 10 and under watch 12 films and none of these children seem disturbed and are very well loved and cared for.So I think it's a matter of the parent knowing THEIR child and what they will enjoy and emotionally deal with.

On a separate note, I remember my big brother getting in huge trouble for letting me watch The Omen with him and his mates while babysitting one night.I think I was 8 and he would have been 18. They thought they were being nice, brought me ice cream and popcorn etc and made a big fuss of me But there were nightmare type consequences..parents weren't pleased

StinkPickle · 29/07/2017 08:11

I'm also anti the whole guns and violence thing which I know is par for the course with boys

what the HELL? I have 3 boys and none are "into" violence or guns. They like lego, dollshouse, painting, aeroplanes, dinosaurs, jigsaws, tennis and a huge amount more but none of them have EVER had a gun, or made a gun with their fingers or shown any interest in violence.

What a stupid self-fullfilling statement

And to anyswer your question, of course they shouldnt be watching rated 12 films at their age.

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