Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU to think that was very inappropriate and to wish I'd said something

47 replies

Littlestgirlguide25 · 27/07/2017 21:26

Out for a bike ride at a local beauty spot/nature trail place with 2dc's today Age 8 and 3. Dd had a mild strop about something minor and was following a few feet behind DS and I, scowling.
We were stopped by two ladies in their 60's, DC asked their names (he asks everyone) and I exchanged a couple of sentences worth of pleasantries with one lady while simultaneously preventing DS from balance-biking into a pond. I looked up from this to see and hear the other lady, showing DD something on her mobile phone and telling her to read it out - it was the number for childline!
I was silently a bit 'wtf?!' But didn't say anything at the time, just sort of hustled the kids away and carried on. But now I think about it, IANBU to think this was out of order, am I?!

OP posts:

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 27/07/2017 22:38

Strange woman.
Dd threatened to call one time. I told her go ahead, I'm sure they hear from little girls who's mum has removed their iPad because they haven't tidied their room all the time. She mumbled something and went to get her room done.

couchparsnip · 27/07/2017 22:48

That is a bit odd. But saying something at the time probably wouldn't have achieved anything.

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 27/07/2017 23:00

Did your child's strop end after she was shown the number, maybe they were attempting to lighten the mood, have a joke with your daughter?

Bit misguided and risky on their part if it was a joke, but unless they're mad as hatters, can't see the reasoning behind it.

Gemini69 · 27/07/2017 23:04

is this a Joke ?

BabychamSocialist · 27/07/2017 23:06

Unless the woman in question was Esther Rantzen, I can't see why she'd have any reason to be giving out the number to childline to random children!

Very odd indeed. Maybe they were a bit dotty.

Crumbs1 · 27/07/2017 23:35

They probably realised she was in a strop and were teasing. "I've got the number for childline dear, if your mothers that awful"

MammaTJ · 27/07/2017 23:35

Christ, if someone had done that in front of my father I'd have paid a hell of a price once we got home.

If that is true, you probably needed the number

When my DC are moaning about how hard one by they are, I tell them 'Ring 0800 11 11, Ester will be interested, I'm not'. I also tell friends children, openly and in front of them, when their DC are moaning the same. It usually makes them realise they are not so badly off.

Random strangers, never! YANBU!!

Twistedpantsagain · 27/07/2017 23:41

I would also assume and hope this was done in jest.
Badly, but in jest.
Otherwise very weird and completely not appropriate!
Did they say good bye to you all after accusing you of child cruelty?!

TropicPlunder · 27/07/2017 23:42

Think I would ask 'what are you doing ?' To somebody showing my child their phone....

Lynnm63 · 27/07/2017 23:44

My eldest threatened to call childlike once I can't actually remember why but I called his bluff offered him the phone and said go on then but they won't buy you iPhones etc. I don't know what I'd have done if he'd taken the phone.

Lynnm63 · 27/07/2017 23:44

Childline stupid fat fingers!!

Pretenditsaplan · 28/07/2017 03:19

All my childhood strops had the threat not of running away but of calling 'ester'

LinoleumBlownapart · 28/07/2017 03:35

Pretenditsaplan mine too

That is really odd, it must have been a bad joke about her strop. Otherwise it is plain odd.

WellThisIsShit · 28/07/2017 03:35

My mother used to mock me and crow about me trying to call childline too.

I wish I had called, as far from them joining in the big humiliating laugh at the disgusting unloveable child, they might have got me out of there.

That's why I feel rather uncomfortable about some of these posts. I'm sure you're not the same, but ridiculing one of the only ways a child can ask for help, well, it's a really effective way of cutting off that path.

OP I posted above but the situation you found yourself in, to say it was very odd!

But please can people be aware that it's very hard to tell the difference between the dynamic of 'dramalama child and good parents bringing the situation back down to earth' and 'abusive adult teaching their child that no one will ever care about them, and even a helpline will turn them away'

Sorry, serious moment.

Twistedpantsagain · 28/07/2017 08:19

I think it will only be clear to the OP if it was meant in jest or a serious concern by the way it was said

steppemum · 28/07/2017 08:23

8 year olds in a strop can often look like they're suffering terribly...it's a skill

as the parent of a frequently stroppy 9 year old, this made me LOL

steppemum · 28/07/2017 08:26

WellThis - I see where you are coming from but I would be very uncomfortable because if you give that number to an abused child in front of their abuser, then the child is likely to suffer repercussions afterwards.

If you give the number to a random child, then it is just weird

Either way it was a strange thing to do

Zaphodsotherhead · 28/07/2017 08:34

Never mind giving an unknown child the number for Childline - showing an unknown child your phone without first asking the parents is a huge no no in my book! Could have been anything on that screen from cute kittens to pony porn. One view of a really traumatic image could upset a child for life!

Woman had absolutely no right to show your child anything without your consent. If she had CP issues she should have taken them up with the appropriate authorities at the time (difficult in a park, I know).

steppemum · 28/07/2017 08:37

agree Zaphod

guinea36 · 28/07/2017 08:55

Wellthisisshit I agree.

lalalalyra · 28/07/2017 20:44

If that is true, you probably needed the number

I didn't have access to a phone.

What I actually needed was a genuinely concerned adult to help. Not to make my abuser aware of the fact I'd made it known that I was desperately unhappy.

Do people really think that if someone gives an abused child the childline number that child is going to get anywhere near a phone? They won't.

It also put the responsibility on them to get themselves out of the shit situation.

Now there's not much two random ladies can do to help in a situation like that, but not making it bloody worse is a start.

WellThisIsShit · 29/07/2017 17:45

This thread has triggered a long forgotten memory of me growing up, going over and over a plan I had to try and make it to the phone booth in the village... to fall childline.

I'd replay it again and again in my head to feel some kind of hope, but never dared do it as I'd be found out. I was scared someone would see me on the phone and tell my mother straight away, especially if it was a long call or I seemed sad on the call. And that 'harmless chatting' would have caused me a massive and awful backlash. It would have been like me causing hell to fall on my head. So I never dared.

But would I have called if some random strangers gave me the number in front of my parents? No. Absolutely not. Because it was done in front of the parent it would have actually closed off that avenue of help, not opened it up.

Helping abused children has to consider how trapped and controlled they are, and what impact a cack handed (& therefore failed) attempt to 'help' will have on the poor kid involved.

Flip

1 2