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AIBU?

To want a second job?

18 replies

Teaandchoccake · 27/07/2017 19:57

I currently work four days a week term time only. I have Mondays off with my little one.

I have been offered a casual job which is relevant to my current role, that id like to take up, as i think it would look great on my cv, I would enjoy, it, And a bit of extra money would be useful (not desperately needed but would be handy for helping pay off my personal credit card, and then eventually a bit for savings/treats) Id potentially be looking at doing a Saturday or Sunday (job starts early so finishes at 2, leaving the rest of the day to spend with husband and lo) every other weekend, the odd week day evening and the odd day in the holidays. This is all on an as and when basis so I decide what hours I can do week by week.

My husband isn't keen. He says I'll be neglecting my daughter! However, I think he is being unreasonable and just doesn't want the responsibility of looking after her on is own. I get her up and dressed every single morning even at weekends, do every single pick up and drop off, most nappy changes, basically all her care. I have asked him time and time again to help out at the weekend but he just likes to lay on the sofa, go to the odd football match now and again or occasionally the pub. He just loves to stay in doors doing nothing! I think it would do him good to have one morning a week where he has to step up and one evening where he has to do bath and bed!

Also, to add, I do all cooking, cleaning, finance, food shop, organising!

He rarely wants to do anything at the weekend so I end up taking my daughter out on my own so again, the new job would give him another change to do something constructive with her, if I'm at home he just leaves it all to me!

Aibu?

OP posts:
Moanyoldcow · 27/07/2017 19:59

So you have 2 children?

PhilODox · 27/07/2017 20:00

Oh right. So does he work full time ? Is he neglecting his DD?

Teaandchoccake · 27/07/2017 20:02

Ha! Technically just one but now you mention it.

Yes he works Monday to Friday!

OP posts:
Teaandchoccake · 27/07/2017 21:37

Thanks for replies so far x

OP posts:
indigox · 27/07/2017 21:38

He just doesn't want the responsibility of having to look after his child without you.

hollytom · 27/07/2017 21:39

I think it sounds fine you can give it a try and if it's too much you can stop.

MotherOfDragons27 · 28/07/2017 14:47

He needs to grow up and step up to look after his child. You need to have a serious talk with him, you can't be happy with the way things are?

MadeForThis · 28/07/2017 14:54

Go for it!!

category12 · 28/07/2017 14:57

I doubt very much he will step up. More likely to sit her in front of the tv. That's not to say you shouldn't do it, but if you're expecting him to become what he's clearly indicated he isn't, you're going to be disappointed.

MyheartbelongstoG · 28/07/2017 14:57

I second go for it.

Love51 · 28/07/2017 15:00

My OH works full time, I work 4 days, with a 3and 5 year old. This year he has been able to do overtime most Saturdays, 7-3. He keeps being apologetic about leaving me with the kids and not pulling his weight with them. In all honesty it's a great bit of timing, just get up, do a morning activity (big one has a class, if it isn't term time, go to town to the market, or park or whatever) have lunch, then either lightly supervised crafts or 'gardening' (2 yos love watering). Then other parent is home, have a cuppa, and into a relaxed evening routine. Leaving the other weekend day for a family outing. The house isn't quite as clean as without the overtime, but the money makes that worth while!

Ilovecoleslaw · 28/07/2017 15:00

Tell him you're doing it and he's going to have to look after he DD for once

Dancinginthemidnight · 28/07/2017 15:04

I would do it. He needs to step up. I work 6 days a week term time and 2 days a week in the holidays. When I'm in work Dp is just as capable as I am. From day 1 he's stepped up. I would not be happy with the division of labour. Its not fair at all on you.

Teaandchoccake · 28/07/2017 15:18

Thanks guys! I am going to go for it!

He won't change regarding house work but I think I'm going to give him a designated activity to do with our daughter on the weekends, so he doesn't just stick her in front of the to. I'll probably lay her clothes out and prepare her food before hand otherwise she'll stay in pjs. We disagree on what is a balanced diet for toddlers! X

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 28/07/2017 15:25

So unless you sort food and clothes he won't dress or feed her? Can't he see how shit that is?

noodleaddict · 28/07/2017 15:36

He is being totally U. My partner was the same, being really weird about me working overtime in the evenings (from 6pm so all he had to do was give dd dinner and put her to bed) and even working from home which didn't impact on him at all! Fuck knows why. Maybe a control thing? He didn't want me having extra cash? I'm not sure, but if you want to go for the job I think you should do it.

Teaandchoccake · 28/07/2017 15:52

Barbara. He will feed her. Absolutely. And keep her nappy fresh and let her play and make a huge mess! I like her to have structured meals, and he will let her graze rather than give her structured meals! I also try and not let her get every single toy out, when left in charge quite often he will leave her in pjs and when I get home and complain he says oh lighten up we are having a pj day! X

OP posts:
Teaandchoccake · 28/07/2017 15:56

Noodle, yes I do think it's partly a control thing! He likes being main earner and me having my "little" job and doing everything else.

OP posts:
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