Not exactly a AIBU but do you believe?

[KrayKray00]

Last year I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It did change my mindset and I done something I had wanted to do for years and I do think it was through the help of the book.

However I found it hard to apply to everyday and after I done what it was that I wanted to do I totally forgot about the whole "positive energy" and vibrations, asking the universe and you shall receive...

I did have mixed reviews on it along with another book which implied if you think negative then negative things will happen but I don't really believe that I just think you expect it when it does happen IYSWIM?

I am currently reading a book about spiritual guidance and trying to switch the mind off because at the moment my head doesn't seem to shut up (if that makes sense, constant worrying over tiny things, replaying old events) and it tells you to think deep and hard about what you are doing now to take your mind off other things, again it talks about the universe and positivity.

My OH thinks it is a load of shit basically and anything to sell a book but I believe they are stepping stones to change the way you look at life and situations.

What do you believe? Have you ever read a book that has changed your life or even one of these?

I know it isn't a AIBU but I thought it might be a bit of a debate seeing as some people believe and others (like OH) doesn't.

I'm with your OH. It's a load of shite and a pay-day from those gullible enough to fall for it. No such thing as spirituality and 'energy from the universe', just whatever you convince your brain to believe.

I think there's some truth in the negative thinking thing. I don't think it's anything supernatural, I just think that if you think positively you're more likely to aim for things that you want because you believe they'll happen,
and generally you'll take more steps towards whatever it is you want than you would if you were thinking negatively and were sure you were doomed to failure.

I wish I could believe there was something a bit more spiritual out there but unfortunately I remain unconvinced!

I haven't read the book but my thoughts are it probably inspired you to try out something you had already wanted to do for years- the idea was always there and you have yourself to thank for more than the book. The book probably has same affect on others, motivates them to try something they always wanted to and inevitably will work out well some of the time- because it was a good idea in the first place. Then when the reader has tried out their idea and the luck stops they convince themselves that it's their fault for not thinking positively enough, not thanking the universe etc.

I think people who believe that the universe will give them what they want if only they think the right way are incredibly narcissistic and a little dim.

It depends. Matt Haig's How to Stay Alive definitely helped me to help myself.

But a book like that, it's essentially akin to prayer, isn't it? and prayers don't just get answered with what you want, otherwise everyone would believe in the same god(s) with no question because we'd all be 'winning'. I'm with pp that it gave you the confidence to do it.

I am the most positive thinking person i know. I always look on the bright side. I try to laugh off upsets etc but they still keep occurring. I have had stuff happen to me that you couldnt make up
When I have listed stuff on here no one believes me because they are so bizarre.
If I stopped looking at life as a glass half full I think I would end up in a padded cell.

I don't believe the universe bit at all. I do believe in the power of knowing what you want and keeping your eye on the prize. No woo needed for that to work.

Why not try something that uses similar principles from psychology without all the woo mumbo jumbo?

The Happiness Trap

Yes I believe

It's great reading all your opinions. I am still in the middle. For example I like to think positive, I like to believe one day I will be successful (career wise) and I like to think yes, that will happen, but I don't think it is because I have asked the universe it is because I put myself through college and university (and bloody debt) to try and achieve that.

missymoo I agree with your comment so much! When I suffered with depression I had a thing of saying a prayer each night to thank god (even though I am not religious...odd) for all I have and if I didn't do it I believe bad things would happen and when something bad did happen I blamed myself for not saying my "prayer" in a certain way. Very odd and not healthy at all. And I think that books like the ones mentioned would make people think the same?

itstoolate may I ask why you think it makes someone extremely narcissist? I can understand the I deserve thing and I want/need that sort of mind set but I wouldn't say positive thinking makes someone a narc. May I add I am definitely not a narc, I just took and online quiz which proves it so it must be true 😂

AVY1 and runrabbit I will have a look at those!

oliversmum have you always been like that or has something made you that way?

What do you mean?

I kind of think this spiritual stuff is a bit crap, but then again I see how it "could" be helpful OP.
Depression, feeling down, lacking motivation, feeling trapped all makes life very hard and unhappy. Hopefulness, motivation, happiness makes life feel good.
If you can refocus some of your thoughts towards positivity then you will enjoy your life more, these books can help with that.
I think the "caution" is that these books (or anything) can't do that for you, on their own, all the time. Like the "prayer" example shows, you seem to have got a bit fixated on how you did the praying/bad thing happened if you didn't pray.
The benefit of praying would be to spend time identifying "good things" or "hopes and dreams" as inspiration, or "gratitude" for good stuff in life, giving you a bit of mindful time/meditation or whatever. Not to "speak to god" about those things (I am atheist btw but I get it), follow a set or rules (pray every day) and failure = punishment.
I can see how these books/prayer etc could help you but at the same time you need to be careful not to focus on the mechanics of it. Fundamentally within you, or all of us, is the power to affect some real change in ourselves and how we experience life. Some people need a bit of help with that (ad's, counselling, praying, yoga, etc) equally it's very easy for us to fix on those systems as a magic bullet solution and we kind of misfire and it becomes about the system, not the outcome.
IYSWIM?
A few years ago I was very down, everything was rubbish (nothing major I just thought I needed better home/job/clothes whatever) been through a lot since then and am now so much more content, don't sweat the small stuff etc. And really, nothing has changed- samehome/job/friends etc. Long story short I just got over myself.

I haven't read any of the books but when I was getting treated for severe depression, one of the things I picked up in CBT was how often I thought "I can't do that." I consciously started changing it to "What's stopping me doing that? And am I bothered enough to do something about it?"

It doesn't work all the time. But a lot of it it does.

I think this kind of "if you think positively, good things will happen to you" can be harmful.

It can encourage people to focus on thinking positively rather than taking positive action.

It can encourage the idea that if good things are not happening to a person, it's their own fault. (a bit like the dark side of The American Dream)

These books do well because:

a - It taps into our innate feeling that yes really we should be treated well by the universe because we are important and special

b - It feels good to think that everyone is in control of their own life (even when it's not true and many many things are random)

c - There is a small overlap with useful advice (useful advice like the CBT mentioned above). If you are in a situation where negative thinking is holding you back from taking positive action, it may be that thinking positively will allow you to take that positive action, and then you will report that "thinking positively WORKED"

I agree with the narcissism comment. If you believe the universe or god has singled you out by doing something for you, that seems narcissistic to me. It reminds me of Lewis Hamilton saying that god was on his side. So god didn't give a shite about all the other formula 1 drivers?