To ask how you deal with people like this?

[sundown45]

I've moved departments at work and am now sitting with different people.

One of the girls is my age and obviously doesn't like me. That's fine, I know you can't be popular with everyone but what I really can't stand is people that pick at you. She makes little digs at me all day to the extent where I constantly feel like I'm defending myself for no reason.

I have tried to just not communicate with her but she overhears conversations I'm having with people around us.

It's small things;

Examples:
I'm selling my car and was discussing with colleagues the fact it's not selling fast. They were being helpful and offering pointers but she was just attacking my every decision - it's overpriced, shouldn't have bought it in the first place, you paid too much, new cars are better, old cars are better - basically point I made she contradicted - to the extent where whilst we were talking she had gone online, found my car advert and downloaded the report (which I'm sure you have to pay for?!).

Glasses - I have a strong prescription and was talking about the cost of glasses with a colleague who also has a strong prescription. But according to her, I pay too much, can find them cheaper, only need glasses because I wore them when I was young... it goes on.

Today she even tried to start an argument over shoe sizes!

I know I can ignore her but she tries to argue with everything I say. Or I could just not speak, but it's a friendly and sociable office, I get on well with everyone else so I don't just want to sit in silence all day. She isn't like it with other people. To be honest I find it exhausting and feel like I'm constantly fighting to justify myself for no reason whatsoever. How do you deal with these people?

I always find these people are insecure on some level. Used to make me furious, as worked with someone similar, and then just got my head around it, and found it amusing in the end at just how negatively she could swing just about anything !

Just nod and smile at her

She's a bitch and a bully, she will create an atmosphere, you might even withdraw from contributing to conversation to avoid her nasty comments. You could call her up on it in front of other colleagues, in a lighthearted way first, maybe 'gosh, don't you find being consistently negative quite draining?'
Are there any colleagues you can talk to about this?

Can you asked to be moved away from her? Sounds like harassment at work, I'd keep a log of what she is doing and have a word with the manager/hr dept.

Keep you're cool, do what you're doing by not engaging with her, if she does interject on your conversation politely say "I'm sorry, this conversation doesn't concern you" or "are you always this rude when people are talking?". You can't get into trouble for saying these things. She may be taken aback but at least you've given her the hint you will stick up for yourself.

Definitely keep a log of events.

One good put down line is "Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one" - if that's a step too far try this one "I'm sure your right" nod, repeat, nod, repeat ad infinitum until she shuts up - then turn back to the person you were originally conversing with and say "where were we?"

Lots of 'Yeah, whatever', long stare, then go back to whoever you were talking to. Keep a log in case she tries to say you're being a bully.

The opinions being like arseholes is a good put down but I wouldn't use it in a work capacity. Might land op in hot water.

Be polite in your conversation with her OP but shut her up in the process.

You could start using her as entertainment. Try to get her to tie herself up in knots by repeated contradiction. It's a lot of fun.

Or, call her out on it.

I had a woman like this at my last job, I don't have any advice because it wore me down & I left before she did but I wish you luck because these people make what would be a nice working environment into a daily dread.

When she butts in, turn to her and say "No one was speaking to you" then turn away and continue the conversation. If she tries to impart her "wisdom" to you, say "I didn't ask for your opinion" and then ignore ignore ignore. Stop arguing or trying to justify yourself to this cow.

Just start asking her opinion on everything, sanitary towels, best position to shag in, best loo roll for a chafed arse crack, what to do about problem body odour. Horrify her into not wanting to give her opinion ever again

Just ask her if she has a habbit of trying to better everyone eles.

Or make some massive lie up like you have won 80k on the lotto and your not sure what to do with it . Every answer she gives say oh my advisor said stay away from that its rubbish.

When my DD was being bullied she said her "friends" would say "no one cares" to her. It seems kind of suitable for this situation!

Or I would probably say something like "I've noticed you seem to argue a lot with things that I say, is there any particular reason, as I'm finding it a bit odd?"

Thanks for all the replies, I'm very laid back usually and it takes a lot for situations to annoy me so I'm not used to having to take control!

I don't want to leave my job as I like and I've just been promoted, hence the move. I'm hoping she might leave as she's made it clear she isn't happy.

Point out her silly contradiction behaviour to others in the office as a kind of casual "is it just me or does X always..." Don't ask them to do anything or show how much it bothers you. Just point it out.

Chances are they will start pulling her up on it. Much better if someone else who she doesn't hate says something when she starts on you. More likely to make her catch herself on and stop.

It also gives you people to share a look with when she's being insufferable, which might dull the pain.

I have worked with someone like this, it really got to me, then I just started using humour to lighten the conversation, she actually stopped hassling me after that, so I guess it was a control / superiority thing? I wouldn't have been comfortable directly challenging her in a work situation, as it's a little 'her word against mine' and would result in an awkward atmosphere. If you use humour she won't be able to handle the fact that you don't care. She is enjoying the fact that currently, she knows it makes you uncomfortable.

I find a heavy sigh and long pointed look after a few of those types of comments normally stop them in their tracks. Until the next time.

Also employ a 'isn't it exhausting contradicting every single thing I say?' Nothing too inflammatory on your part but enough so that they know you're not afraid to address it.

When people do this to me, I usually just say "Hmmmm" and start talking about something else. Or I get really vague and refuse to discuss the topic in any more detail. I think it works better in an office setting than inflaming the conflict.

Make sure she's not there, then find some suitable job advertisements for her and cover her desk with them when she's out of the room.

Change her screensaver to the jobcentre.

Sign her up to New Agey sites that promise to change your negativity into a positive flow

My sister is like this. She literally knows everything about everything, but unlike actual knowledgeable people, she insists on going on about it. The things she doesn't know about are pointless, dull, etc etc.

I retaliate by starting conversations about the most obscure things, then innocently asking her advice. Then giving her the face that says 'we both know you're floundering'

Recently though it's been easier. I have 3dc, she's having her 1st. On this one thing, I definitely know more. My favourite line is 'just wait and see what happens when the baby arrives' when she lectures me about reusable nappies, weaning, making my own formula if You can't breastfeed, and Finnish baby boxes. It pleases me greatly.