First time poster long time lurker so please be gentle.
There's quite a backstory but I'll try and give you the short version. I am an adult daughter to an unreliable father and an amazing mum(separated, never married). He's done a number of things throughout the years. Didn't turn up to collect us when he said he would as kids. Was angry and nasty when we were there. Tried to talk me out of marrying my AMAZING DH. Called me 3 weeks before our wedding and said he wouldn't give me away. The list goes on. He's so bad my sister completely refuses to have anything to do with him.
So I've recently moved back near my family and I make time to go to his for dinner after work every couple of weeks. Sometimes with DH but some evenings he's working. Whenever he gets me alone for he always brings up old tales, most of them made up. Last night he was giving me a lift home (I was more than happy to get a bus but he insisted) and he started being really horrible about my mum. Saying there's a lot I don't know about her and how manipulative she is. I know they don't get along but my mum has never bad mouthed him in front of us. I became upset and defended her. That made him more angry. He makes up a story about him my mum promised she would ruin our relationships with him. He starts to shout and drive angrily so I told him to stop the car and I would get a bus. He told me not to be so ridiculous and how obvious it is that I've been turned against him. I got out the car and called my sister. She came to get me and we went for a coffee, she cheered me right up.
My question is AIBU to ignore him unless he makes the first move and apologies. I'm pretty confident he won't and probably doesn't think he's done anything wrong, he has form for this.
I'm thinking this might be the straw that breaks the camels back and I might stop putting the effort into our relationship. It's clearly not good enough for him as he keeps harking back to the past.