'It gets so much easier....'

[Andthatswhatitsallabout]

Decided to post after reading a few threads where the op writes about having a hard time with a newborn baby and cue lots of responses about how much easier it will get.
I have three children, my youngest is only 5 months old. None of them ever slept very well (several wakings a night until they were weaned from breastfeeding, obviously still in the thick of it with dc3) the eldest had bad reflux. I would say they were/are pretty high needs babies, couldn't/can't be put down, fed around the clock, only slept in a sling/buggy etc.
Even though I found/find this difficult, the toddler stage literally floors me. I find it so, so difficult. I am a bit introverted so maybe the fact that the baby can be carried around and I can still go about my daily business, they can't move, they don't need constant interaction and vigilance and not to mention the tantrums!
I just do not find it easier at all. I am really enjoying my baby at the moment and of course it is wonderful that they progress but I am already getting nervous about the toddler stage.
I guess my AIBU is to just not get how people can prefer the stage of constantly having to watch/follow/interact with a toddler vs a baby who although demanding I can still do so much with. Really baffles me tbh. And while I would never go on a thread where a parent with a new baby is struggling to say all this, I silently think I could never say it gets easier until they are 6....

But the getting into everything is all part of the fun. Running in the park, walks in the woods, showing them things like deer for the first time. Taking them swimming, faking delight when they bring you worms from the garden, watching them experience new things such as going on a plane or visiting Father Christmas and seeing the awe in their eyes. I bloody loved it. And I've had 4 so I've sat through hundreds of tantrums and food throwing and toilet training and poo in the pants and snotty noses and trips to A&E for stitches etc but the joy and wonder of a toddler has been one of parenting joys for me.

*nursery

Depends on the child. Some are quite independent, capable toddlers and don't need to be followed (obv within sight at a toddler group or whatever). It's not always a bad stage. Same goes for babies, some are content to play on their own at your feet. Some scream for hugs/carry all the time.

DD only napped on me, fed all the time, and screamed in the pram, car seat and crib. Once she could run about and we weren't fighting to get her to nap she was happy, she was a happy curious energetic independent toddler. Damn right it was easier. Even just going to the supermarket was nicer when we could enjoy looking at all the stuff rather than racing round before she screamed to be fed again. Plus she sleeps at night now.

Parenting is tough at every age it's just that the challenges change

My 18 month old has been a massive pain the ass all day, I miss when I could put him down to play with his toys and he stayed there instead of climbing on everything. I loved the new born/ baby stage. Tomorrow he'll probably be an angel though and I'll love him being a toddler 😂

@redphonebox

People often say it to comfort the op. Recovering from pregnancy and birth while dealing with your first baby can be hell.

Toddler years were a walk in the park. Not that they slept, or coped with anything, and managed to break my bones and dislocate my joints in the throws of melt downs. Age 4-7 was the special kind of hell stage for both my sets of twins. They all have asd, adhd, social anxiety and in hind sight they very clearly have pda.

My preeteens while hard work are much easier. My teenagers are an absolute dream. We just got all the shit early and we're forced to work on our understand and their coping mechanism then.

None of them have ever slept through the night though!! They no longer need me when they are up in the night but I wake when they do anyways. Insomnia runs in our family.

Agree with pp it doesn't get easier it gets different.

Ours are 4, 2 and 5 months so every day is a varying display of all of the challenging behaviours and difficulties - not sleeping, constant questioning and striving for independence, tantrums over difficulties communicating, power struggles between the older two and no one ever naps at the same time.

I couldn't say which I find most difficult. I just know that if one of my kids is cared for by grandparents for the day my burden feels immeasurably lighter. Doesn't matter which kid either.

The thing about kids this age is that they're not necessarily difficult to manage and their needs are generally not that complex. Is the unending persistence and stamina required that is the greyest struggle for me. Knowing tomorrow will be exactly the same.

Mine are 9 and 6. Some things get easier, some things get more difficult.

Stuff that gets easier is sleep, feeding and general physical care like washing and dressing themselves. Also getting out and about is easier with no pushchairs etc.

Stuff that gets harder is they answer back, you need to nag them to do stuff that as a baby you'd have done for them, like bathing/dressing/put your coat on. The emotional stuff is exhausting and heart breaking. Dealing with their emotions and friendship problems etc. Helping with homework etc.

It's not necessarily easier, just different.

well i genuinely did find it got easier op.

Some things get easier. Other parts get harder. But I would agree that I found the toddler stage exhausting.

DD's are now 7 & 10 and I think they're at a lovely age. Overall, it's so much easier. However, the difficult part is having to 'let go' of DD1 and leave her to work her way through some problems and get some independence. It was much easier when their 'problem' was that they'd lost their teddy. Now we have to deal with playground politics and occasionally some bullying. At this stage I find it more emotionally draining than physical.

I find toddlers a million times easier than newborns.

I am absolutely finding the toddler stage easier than the baby stage. Toddler tantrums are a breeze compared to the hell of sleep deprivation (but I have always needed a lot of sleep).

Thanks for your replies. As I said I would never say this to parents of newborns going through a hard time. It's more to do with me finding a toddler a lot more draining than a baby even with the sleep deprivation.

Think I am just a bit disappointed in myself that I find this stage so hard. I also love them to bits and of course it's not all negative, they are incredibly cute at this stage but as a pp mentioned 18 months to 4 years have been the toughest for me with my two. 5 years has been great so far! I just find the adjustment from portable, able to go for a coffee, long walks in pram baby to a little person who won't go in a buggy/has to be watched like a hawk/zero reason really hard.
I have found all the replies really interesting and I appreciate the different insights.

Yabu.
If I can sleep I can cope.
I could sleep from 18 months.

first year if school until 9 is lovely. Quite independent, don't need constant attention, good company. it's so much easier once they start school

I hated the first six months, found 6-12 months unpleasant but sort of bearable. I love having a 2 year old! Great fun now we can do stuff together. I properly enjoy his company.