To ask how the hell you make friends?

[nannyuk]

I try really hard to be sociable but I just seem to get nowhere.i joined some meet up groups and although everyone is friendly it just feels like people are being polite. I have no idea how to get close friends again. I used to have friends and then I got in a relationship very young and seemed to drift apart from my friends. It didn't help it was in the last year of school and everyone was moving on. The relationship lasted 7 years and I felt cut off from the world. I was very lonely when the relationship ended and was not confident in myself anymore. I'm now married to a wonderful man who encourages me to go out whenever I like and try and activily make friends but I don't know how to. Any help? Sorry about the long post.

Mush/mummysocial/peanut are good apps for meeting people 😃

Local churches often run social groups

I think it takes a lot of time to build friendships.

I go to some women's outing through a local church. But dont meet up with any of the women I ve become close to through the church. Outside these activities. However it's a nice group & everyone makes you welcome.
I did a meditation course but again did nt make any friends outside of meetings. But both these things mean I had some where to go socially.
I hope that makes sense.
I have made 2 friends through work that I would meet up for coffee now & then outside work.

Thank you for posting :) I guess I just feel lonely and want to fix it.

I would say go to these more formal groups and activities to meet people. When you find someone you like invite them for coffee/a drink outside of the group. Same with work colleagues.

I have found in adulthood that friendships have taken longer to build than they did when younger. I guess when you are at school/college/uni you spend all day with these people and relationships develop quickly. It just takes longer in adulthood.

I think if you find someone you click with at a group or wherever, the you need to ask them to meet up between groups. You need to be brave if you want to move from 'pleasant acquaintance' to 'friend'. I remember having really good chats with someone at toddler group once. After a few weeks of meeting at the group, I suggested we go for coffee later in the week. Four years later, she's one of my best friends. 😀 Asking her if she wanted to meet up was quite nerve wracking at the time - a bit like asking someone out! But actually I do think finding friends is a bit like dating in that you need to put yourself out there in order to be successful.

Hi Nanny if you have kids then it's as others have said but if you don't have you thought about joining a gym going to a Zumba class or a singing group. Good luck