AIBU to be really ticked off at my mum

[Dawnbryson92]

Before I start I love my mum to pieces and she's normally a lovely amazing person.

My mum has a little problem with drinking has done for a long time, she and I both have deep depression. Now since march ive been off work due to having a knee op and I'm due another within a matter of weeks. I've worked everyday since I was 16 and never received any benefits until now I currently receive ESA and nothing else. DP and I have just moved into a beautiful new home and I want to pay my fair share ( I was brought up that the man is not the only provider, we are a team) I love being out working, I've done call centre jobs for years and for a bubbly person working in a cancellations team 4 years of people giving me abuse down the phone got me down, panic attacks, the lot basically and my mum knows this.

So today I went for a job interview which would have me working in the public driving and so on, with being in and out of pubs all day. I told my mum who I thought would be over the moon for me, little did I expect the earful I got with her saying it was too dangerous a job ( it's emptying fruit machines and puggys) and she thinks I'm being extremely selfish by going for a job like this???

She also asked if I'm not home who will make DP dinner and wash his clothes, HELLO we do not live in 1950s if DP wants dinner he is more than capable of doing so himself, she has also posted some rude things about me through vague statuses on Facebook knowing I will see them. Calling me money grabbing because it's a well paying job. She doesn't believe both DP and I should both be in well paying jobs (partner works in steel works) she said that I don't need to be earning much because of my partners wage.

I know this is only because she's been drinking but it's really getting me down. She does this every time she has a drink she gets on at me and with me also being ill I end up getting down especially when she phones me screaming at me that I'm causing her mental health to be worse.

My poor dads stuck in the middle because as much as he wants to stickup for me he still has to live with my mum and when she goes through these phases she is more than difficult to live with. Thus the reason as soon as DP and I could afford to move out last year we did.

Sorry for the long post I just needed to rant but any advice would be so appreciated. Thank you ❤️

Try to attend AA meetings as you're enabling her addiction.
This will help you take your power back.

To go to aa meetings with her or on my own, I don't understand I don't drink at all due to some of the states I've seen her in.

My first piece of advice is to block your mother on Facebook. Why torture yourself by reading the inane ramblings of a drunkard who clearly lashes out at you due to her own sense of failing and inadequacy? Everything she does is because of her and how she feels about herself. You just happen to be her punching bag. So now YOU have the responsibility to look after your own welfare and distance yourself from her. You can only be her punching bag if you stand there and take it. I'm very sorry you're in this awful position.

On your own. There are lots of children of alcoholics in AA.

sounds grim op.
There is an organisation called al-anon, affiliated to Aa, which is for people who have family or loved ones who have drink problems.

Yes alanon thank you that's what I was trying to suggest.
Get yourself right, she will have to want recovery herself independently of you. It will be empowering for you to stop the behaviours and adaptations you have developed over the years which feed into her addiction.
Good luck. Life will get better for you.