Asked to wear a BF cover in baby and toddler music group... WWYD??

[Absofrigginlootly]

Let me start by saying that this doesn't directly affect me. My DD is still BF but only morning and bedtime. We attend a weekly baby and toddler music group that is part of a USA-wide national music program (I'm in the states btw)

In my group there is one mum who often BF her baby who is I would guess about 8 months old, when he gets fussy sometimes. However, there are about 6-7 groups a week at this franchise so it could be another group member who brought this up.

Anyway, last night I received this group email:

Hello everybody....XXXXXXX here. I received an inquiry about our policy about nursing in class so I thought I'd share with everyone in case there are others with questions about our policy.
Nursing in class is welcome. Over the years our families have overwhelmingly supported nursing in class.
However, I also recognise that we serve some 100 families so there is a wide range of sensibilities in our XXXXNAME OF GROUPXXXX.
In order to both support and welcome nursing in our classroom AND respect the wide range of sensibilities in our classes, we find it works best for everyone if nursing mothers use a sheet or some such cover when nursing.
Please feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns.

I mean.... WTF?! "Best for everyone"?! Umm not if your baby is like mine and would refuse to nurse with a cover and scream and pull it off.

I spoke to the mum who often BF during class afterwards today and said did she get the email (as I noticed her baby fussing and she didn't feed him)... she said she had, and felt really awkward about feeding him and was contemplating leaving the room to do it..!!

WWYD??
I'm thinking of emailing the organisation HQ and ask if this is specific company policy or just this teacher??

(As far as I'm aware it's also against the law in this state to discriminate against BF mums)

Would you do anything else?

I don't know whether to email the teacher directly. But I'm hoping the organization will make them issue an email retraction ????

That's america for you. Shameless violence the norm but breast feeding threatens civilisation.

Isn't a baby a breast feeding cover in itself?

I'd be tempted to make a Huge Fuss about leaving the room when it was time to feed the baby, possibly with comments about how I would to want to offend anyone by feeding a baby but I'm a fully paid up passive aggressive cow at times...
However with my grown up head on I think the email really does need responding to with some of the suggestions from PP's.

I would definitely respond to the email. I would email the teacher and the organisation saying how disappointed I am in this situation and their position and hope they correct this as soon as possible.

I have to say that I would not be returning to that group and would be emailing to explain that this is due to their discriminatory policies.

I would email back explaining how disappointed you are with their attitude. It's ridiculous because the one place where mums with young children should be able to relax is at toddler group.

I agree if I was back in the UK I would definitely be boycotting the group.

The problem here is that there are very very few toddler and baby things we can attend, especially if we don't want to drive for more than half an hour. They don't have as many stay at home mums over here so options are severely limited. My DD struggles around other DC as it is, so it does her good to mix with other toddlers.

But I'm really angry about this and want them to know it!!!!

I love all the pictures. So fab.

OP it is utter crap. ANYONE who is working with or socialising with mums of babies should expect the odd boob to be unleashed now and again. The fact anyone doesn't want to see it, is fine, but they need to position themselves away from the boob.

I'd take it as someone has made a complaint about another mum breastfeeding, and it has been seen as necessary to ask that mum to cover up in a very indirect way so that everyone is kept happy. The person who wrote that email may well have been put in a very awkward situation by another group member? Just a thought. I b/f mine and it never remotely bothered me but it's funny that some of my family were really uncomfortable about it. We all have our funny likes and dislikes.

What the hell?! That is awful. Yes complain by all means. I'm in the UK and while I was BF received nothing but support. ridiculous.

From what I remember from being part of La Leche League in the US, the mother can breastfeed in public or wherever she has a right to be/or is allowed to be. Something like that.
Have a look at [[http://breastfeedinglaw.com/ breastfeeding Law] it has links to each state laws about breastfeeding.

Whoops breastfeeding law

I know your LO is off the boob for the most part, but if that wasn't the case I'd be feeding her when other breastfeeding mum was starting so she didn't feel as, er, exposed. Even just going and sitting beside her like "nothing to see here, folks!" would send a message. Boobs in arms and all that.

Also I would perhaps send a note in response to the organiser and remind them of the relevant law and frame it in a way that says you really value the support offered by the group and don't want them getting in trouble by making this their (even informal) policy.

it has been seen as necessary to ask that mum to cover up in a very indirect way so that everyone is kept happy

Yes I'm sure someone must have complained... but why not tell them the policy is we allow breastfeeding. Let the person with the problem deal with it (i.e. Stop coming or get over it).

How will ever get to a point in western society where BF is just seen as NORMAL and no big deal if people keep pandering to 'sensibilities' ?

I think I'd send a message saying that the new policy isn't supportive of breast feeding as you know for a fact it has already prevented a person from feeding their child.

Ask them if it is breast feeding mothers they would prefer to drive away, or people who don't want to see breasts but for some reason won't simply look away that they would rather have leave?

I would email them back telling them I will have to stop attending on the basis of their badly thought out position on breastfeeding, as my baby refuses to feed under a cover.

That's awful OP, I'd be tempted to tell them to fuck off.

However, it would be better to send an email explaining that covers can be distracting and uncomfortable for mother and baby - and insisting on a cover is not supporting breast feeding, it's the opposite. And reminding them of what the law says in their state.

Can you do a mass feed in as a protest?

Depending on what state you are in you tell them it's your legal and constitutional right to BF wherever/however you want.
Then carry on as normal.

People might want to complain but they have no right to stop you.

I'd send them a link to this thread.

Frankly at baby toddler groups when you are BF, thats the one environment where it should be totally ok. The fact that Americans call breast feeding nursing is just wrong.

If people don't want to see breastfeeding they can just stay home. How about you reply (reply all) saying you're disappointed by this suggestion, you don't find children being fed naturally offensive, to the contrary, you support it. Refer to any relevant law too.

What the fuck!!!! As a breastfeeding mother this makes me fume. You have to do something, don't let this go. Definitely agree with other posters bring up the legislation that this is breaking. If People don't like breastfeeding it's their problem they should go somewhere else not the baby.

I seriously don't understand how this is a problem. Ahhhhhhh

I used to feed ds under a poncho ( if anyone remembers them!)

Actually I bet at a church service everyone would be totally happy for people to breastfeed! :)