In finding H's behaviour unreasonable?

[earlgrey]

H went to pub on Friday night - ostensibly for a 'party' run by the publican and his common law wife, who are leaving for Spain today (they've been there 2 years, so it's not as if they're liflong buddies). I, of course, was not invited.

dd1 (8) very unwell yesterday - came home from school, crying with headache/stomach ache and fever. Bathed her, gave her some Calpol and put her to bed, I went with her to comfort her.

Came down at 3.00am this morning to find him just coming back from the pub. I had no way of contacting him - he hadn't taken his phone, the pub phone won't accept incoming calls, he obviously knew earlier that he was going but didn't tell me and didn't leave a note to say where he was going. It was only 'cos the car was still in the drive I knew where he must be.

Well, am I? Unreasonable, that is? Uncontactable H, not telling/leaving me a note, v. ill dd and him pissing off to the pub despite all this till 3.00am.

Over to MN jury.
H puts dd2 to bed

he has been in the pub since friday night?? ( or have I read that wrong? )

was the party in spain?

No, he came back about 9.00 on Friday. Should've known then that the 'party' wasn't happening that night.

Id be pissed off with DP if he stayed anywhere, uncontactable till 3am.

I dont think you are unreasonable, do not allow him to have a lie in, make as much noise as you can and generally make his day miserable.

No, you are not being unreasonable. He seems to be assuming that the children are totally your responsibility, in terms of being there to care for them. You need to negotiate some groundrules. Children are a 24/7 responsibility, every single day of the year.

WHY are you with him again?

Agree with hunker - it has come through on countless threads, this man does not have any respect for you.

have you been getting on better of late or not been together?

he is not going to change..there are some things which you either have to come to terms with or change yourself..just letting things drift becomes a decision in itself after a while and it is just as painful as doing something positive

I knew this was you as soon as I read the thread title, and I have to echo Hunker.

You know that he treats you like a doormat. And the more you let him, the worse he gets.

pack him up and look to the future

Zippiti, no neither. I'ts just a daily occurrence, but after what he said to me last week the hypocracy of his whole demeanour is really getting me down.

Thanks for your replies - at least I now know it's not me being unreasonable for feeling he is. Sometimes it's hard to withdraw from the situation you're in and see it from an outsider's POV.

how do you see things when you get to 50 say?

Zipp, can I CAT you?