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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

pants

26 replies

MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 01:23

AIBU to feel upset that my DF walks around my house wearing only pants and even answers my front door wearing only his underpants?

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 26/07/2017 01:24

Why does he do this? Does he live with you?

Grilledaubergines · 26/07/2017 01:25
Hmm
PoopyPantsFace · 26/07/2017 01:26

Your father? or fiancé?

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 01:33

Father. He is staying with us :( but has overstayed his welcome. Worse, I overheard him telling someone that he likes it so much, he thinks he'll stay Shock

OP posts:
PoopyPantsFace · 26/07/2017 01:37

Oh. Yes, in that case that's just not on.

Tell him to put his bloody trousers on! Simple. In a curt tone so as to make him reconsider his plans to stay!

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 01:44

I did, in front of my DH but the next time I saw him he was walking round with his flies wide open. I dont know if hes doing it on purpose so I pretended not to notice... I would tell him to go, but hes got nowhere at the mo due to his divorce, unfortunately :(

OP posts:
BenedictCumberbeyatch · 26/07/2017 01:47

Is this odd behaviour for him or his he usually quite open like this? I only ask as my friends dad began to behave similarly and he has recently been diagnosed with Dimentia.

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 01:49

Hes been inappropriate with females lately...

OP posts:
ThinkOfTheHorses · 26/07/2017 03:29

Tell him to stop. Unacceptable. It's okay for a partner in his own house ( not opening the door) if their partner is okay with it. But a father with other family members is not okay. Rude and gross.

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 08:52

I have told him, but he doesnt respect me or listen to anything I say. We've worked out that he's misogynistic so my husband is going to talk to him.
If it was just the pants, that would be bad enough but he's an emotional vampire. He never leaves me alone- and I work from home, so he's stopping me from doing my work. I've become ill as a result of the stress of his super clingingess and control issues.

OP posts:
Thebookswereherfriends · 26/07/2017 08:55

Sounds like you need to set a date for him leaving.

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 09:34

You're right. I'm so glad I don't have young children. My DH is going to talk to him because he doesn't take me seriously. If he sees we are united, there's not much he can do, I suspect.

OP posts:
Creatureofthenight · 26/07/2017 09:40

If he doesn't respect you he doesn't get to stay with you. Give him a weeks notice today.

blankface · 26/07/2017 10:39

Maybe he has early onset dementia? That can manifest by being sexually inappropriate. Maybe it's the strain of his divorce that's sent his behaviour in this direction?

Why not try to get him some help, wherever he goes, he'll be in trouble unless his behaviour is sorted out.

DJBaggySmalls · 26/07/2017 10:40

If you have children get him out of the house now.

Lucywithout · 26/07/2017 10:55

I suggest you help him find a rental he can afford and if necessary lend him the deposit. He is a bit unhinged and needs to take back control of his life.

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 11:13

He's not short of money, quite the opposite, though he did lead us to think he was poor. He's very definitely well off and holding up his divorce on purpose, unfortunately.

I would LOVE to think that's not the case, but sadly it is. He does not need a deposit, just a kick up the arse!! He won't accept help, or that he has a problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 11:14

OP I have no children in the house, just adults...even so it's making me uncomfortable.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 26/07/2017 11:18

You need to say you need to find somewhere to live asap it is not working you living here and leave it at that I know he is your dad but he sounds creepy and definatley inappropriate

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 11:26

I know I need to...but first my DH has to show he's onside so he can't play one off against the other. DH has been working loong hours...but should be able to talk to him this week. Unfortunately I think Father dear is a misogynist and so may take more notice of a man. So far he has ignored my Mum, my sister and myself. My brother doesnt have the guts to stand up to him.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 26/07/2017 11:29

Yes it is all well and good me/us saying stand up to him but if he doesn't respect women then your dh has to do it god he sounds hard work. Is he divorcing your mum or another wife

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 17:03

My Mum is divocing him...

OP posts:
AntiGrinch · 26/07/2017 17:07

"My Mum is divocing him..."

Oh my goodness, why?

You need to get him out of your house. He's being creepy and he's doing it deliberately

Original poster
MagentaRose72 · 26/07/2017 17:16

I know but I need my husband on side. I feel swamped , not coping. I spend all my time out or avoiding my father.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 26/07/2017 18:15

Oh Magenta I hope he is gone soon and once he has gone don't feel an ounce of guilt Flowers

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