Bit of a long story but so frustrated and need advice. After "putting up" with my SIL for 5 years and suspecting she did not like me a huge row blew up about a family party and whether we could be there. During this row she really let rip when i said due to other commitments we may not be there, but said more than i could have ever imagined. She claimed that every time we had visited her we had been so rude that she had been in tears every time we left (no idea what she was on about and when i asked her to explain or give an example she just became hysterical/shouty about how she did not have to explain herself to me, so still none the wiser on that one.) Then she claimed that since our daughter had been born (she was 2 at the time) her parents didnt want to know her kids anymore and she was sick of them always talking about my child. She then went further to claim that we were a selfish couple who just tended to go around upsetting other family members and only thought of ourselves, again i am at a loss to explain this as it was certainly not the case. She only referred to our child (her niece i might add) throughout the conversation as "your daughter". I asked her to please use her name and she refused. We had put up with so much from her, from being ignored in the Supermarket, to jibes about what we wore, you name it we put up with it. Later in the week she phoned my husband to claim she had gone too far and pass on her apologies, he said it would be better coming from her but she refused and asked him to do it which did not go down well with me as it did not seem genuine. For months after this it was very awkward and her attitude was awful, sarcastic to me and even rude to her own parents in our presence. I decided after nearly 6 years of this woman that i could no longer tolerate things and told her i did not wish to have contact with her anymore, i put it in writing stating my reasons and my feeling that her apology for the outburst was not sincere but if she wanted contact with her brother that was between them and i would not interfere. Since then she has been a nightmare, she claimed to Inlaws and other family members that I had simply got up one morning and decided i did not like her and for some strange reason had made up all these accusations about her. Needless to say and very disappointing for me they decided to believe her when she claimed the row between us never even happened and that she never asked my husband to apologise for her and did not know what he was on about either. This infuriated him, then we had MIL & FIL sit in our home and call us liars/trouble makers get round there with flowers and sort it out !! Needless to say we stood firm and refused to have anything to do with her after that, relations with the Inlaws have been strained as a result but it has been 12 years now and apart from seeing her at weddings/funerals where she regularly cries and makes a fuss that we dont speak to her etc all is quiet. Three years ago we had another child and MIL asked if we would be prepared to let her meet him , we said yes to keep the peace and the Inlaws happy and we never heard a thing more about it. We could only assume SIL had not been keen and that was that. We then had another child in March, was again asked by MIL if she could meet the kids, again we said yes to keep the strained peace and again heard nothing. This month we announced that we would be getting kids christened and out of the blue the Inlaws demanded that she be invited and that if she was not it would be likely they would not be prepared to come as it was mean of us not to include her. We were stunned by this and as a result have postponed the christening as we do not know what to do/think anymore. I feel like giving up on the lot of them !