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To not work when on the Asd pathway?

9 replies

user1483934521 · 25/07/2017 20:01

So I am one year into the nightmare process of the add pathway with my six year old. She has extremely challenging and violent behaviour and due to this I have up my job six months ago. (I'm a lone parent with no support) I have since been offered another job working three long days a week. The issue I have is that my daughter is very hard work to get out in the morning for school, often results in us being late. My work would start at 9 and is a 10 min drive away. She has high anxiety and separation issues. I don't feel ready to leave her whilst she is struggling with a new year transition and I can't get the time off work. Ideally I would love to spend some time with her as I've always worked full time and look at work maybe next year. Aibu to take time out during this difficult period?

OP posts:

Squirmy65ghyg · 25/07/2017 20:12

YANBU. Do what is right for your family.


Allofaflumble · 25/07/2017 20:17

Your loyalty is to your daughter. You will work when things become more settled. Best of luck.


Toysaurus · 25/07/2017 20:23

I'm single with two with ASD. I tried working. Full time. Part time. Self employed. It all went to shit because my child's needs were too great. I'm on carers allowance now because I couldn't work no matter how I tried to arrange it. So YANBU


skystore · 25/07/2017 20:26

YANBU. It's incredibly draining being a lone parent of a disabled child and that's fully recognised even by the DWP through carers allowance. I hope you've applied for DLA for your dd? Because that allows you to claim carers allowance and therefore income support (if you meet the savings criteria), which you can stay on indefinitely (there's no maximum child age limit as there is for lone parents of NT children). I have not been able to work since my ds was diagnosed with autism and that was 12 years ago. Be aware that children and their relationships can often get more complex as time goes on, not easier, despite getting further help (my ds is in a top specialist school but still has very challenging issues) and it might not just be a short time out.


IzzyHarvey · 25/07/2017 20:33

skystore DLA doesn't guarantee carers allowance. My daughter gets low rate DLA and I am not entitled to it, it is for mid rate or higher and DLA is getting harder and harder to claim.


nancyclancy123 · 25/07/2017 20:49

I'm not a single parent but still had to give up my job to support my 6 y.o ASD dd. It ended up really affecting my health too, I became really anxious and tearful and just felt so torn.

Do what works for you both, especially as you are juggling everything yourself. Cake


gingerh4ir · 25/07/2017 21:11

totally understandable. one of my DC has ASD and severe LDs. I have a DP who works long hours but no other support. I am working too. It is so hard. I am on ADs as I would not be able to cope otherwise. If I could afford, I would give up work in a heartbeat. do what is best for DD and also for yourself. I am running myself into the ground. it's not good. avoid it if you can.


user1483934521 · 25/07/2017 21:20

Wow thanks for the positive support. We get dla and careers currently, which in so grateful for. But yes my loyalty is too my daughter and her wellbeing.

OP posts:

Squirmy65ghyg · 25/07/2017 21:44

Good luck OP. Being a LP is hard.

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