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Severely pissed off at dp

32 replies

RumbleMcSkirmish · 25/07/2017 17:10

So today my son was being difficult about going out, as he always is, and my dp got in a mood with him, shouted "fuck it, I'm done!" And stormed off and slammed the door. He then proceeded to lie on the bed crying. Now, I'm a stay at home mum right now, and I deal with this behaviour a lot from my son. He's 4, he was delayed on his speech and it had geld him back a bit, he's pretty much caught up now, but seems to be going through a bit of a phase of frustration and tantrums . I have a shit time getting him to do anything at the mo, he doesn't listen to me. He's so stubborn as well. So I find taking him out difficult, Getting him dressed difficult, teeth, bath, etc. Everything. He also constantly goes "mum mum mum mum mum mum mum " all day long (I know it'll pass). When I get frustrated my dp just waves it off as "4 year old being a 4 year old." But he doesn't have to deal with it all the time. I keep telling him I get this all the time but he doesn't really seem to understand. When hrs home he can barely stand 5 minutes of it before getting in a strop. So when it kicked off today I gently reminded him that I deal with this every day, and he starts whining that I'm trying to pick an argument etc.

He's always complaining he doesn't have enough down time. When he's home he literally just sits on his arse all day doing nothing. He does no cleaning, cooking. He barely helps me out with son. I do it all. And he has the audacity to complain if I didn't wash the right t shirt or whatever. He works shifts and long hours (which he gets up at 5am for, and who has to get up too to make his lunch and iron his uniform? Me. I suggested he do it the night before but turns around with the excuse that he'll need help getting ready, wants a cup of tea, son will only get up because we are. Son only gets up because he's so loud), so I don't mind having to do most things then, but when he's home it just pisses me off. To top it all off he's always complaining about work. With no real reason. Also when hes home he'll "nip out quick " and will be gone hours. Even if it means it'll be passed dinner time when he gets back.

He just constantly complains, and I've had enough :( if I try and bring up what's bothering me he gets his knickers in a twist and cries going, "oh I'm a shit dad/partner" some days he'll just nit pick every single thing I do.

Sorry for the long post. I'm just tired, have s pounding headache, stressed, and just wanting a rant. And tbh there's a lot more to it, I just can't think straight right now

OP posts:
Smallangryplanet · 25/07/2017 18:54

I'm out at 6:30am I don't wake anyone else up. If he wouldn't get up, iron your clothes and make a cup of tea then you don't need to for him. Your ds need his sleep, this is so selfish.

Spangles1963 · 25/07/2017 19:05

Who was laying on the bed crying? Your son or your DP? If it was your DP,I must say it sounds a bit of a strange thing for a grown man to do as a reaction to a 4 year old's behaviour.

MsSusanStoHelit · 25/07/2017 19:14

Your partner is being a shit, for sure, but is he quite alright? A sudden change like this and the crying might point to something mental healthish.

I'm not excusing him, he is being completely crap, but I don't think it's quite LTB time after a month of sudden shitness, not without finding out more.

Nameynamechangeforthis · 25/07/2017 19:15

He sounds very unhappy. Up at 5.30, an hours walk to work, and a 13 hour shift is pretty tough. Sounds like he is not coping with his life. If it was me I would try to get him to open up about what his problems are, properly listen, and see what changes you can make.

InvisableLobstee · 25/07/2017 19:16

Something needs to change here, he sounds about 16 years old.

user1484615313 · 25/07/2017 19:20

If your DH layed on the bed crying I would seriously think about your relationship.
He just sounds like he's playing you on his little finger. You've done it all this time. So why not carry on he thinks.
The only way you can change a person like this is to drastically shake things at home asap. Don't get up early to make his food and get his breakfast. Leave him with DS sometimes and just say you're going out "for a bit". Stick to your guns and don't give in. You need a break too and it's his son too.

seven201 · 25/07/2017 20:26

My dh gets up at 5.30 and manages to not behave like an arse! I'm glad you plan to get a job from September. Start the job search now. Get your ducks in a row and make you and your son a better life.

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