Let her know or just ignore. .

[Confusedfriend2017]

A friend divorced her dh after he was convicted of manslaughter. . He went to prison, dc and her in therapy and her on meds.Police secured her new home, panic alarms, and in her dps house etc. . He has been out a year, he has a job, sporadic cms payments. All contact ordered via mutual friend etc. He hacked into her emails, no police action, but he found out details about me through info found.

Now she has announced they are on speaking terms ffs!!
For one she is back where she started with a controlling man in her life, a convicted killer, dc won't be happy about it, her dps will probably die of the shock . And he can find out about me as she is loose tongued at best. .
Do I walk away or spell it out to her why I won't be in contact again?

Cut ties and make sure that social services know that she has got back together with him. The children need protection.

Her dh killed my friend. . . We were all in the same location at the time. .

Forgot I had name changed!!

NAME CHANGE FAIL????

Will change again when post is done. .

I would think the first ting to do would be to tell the police and explain why you are in direct danger, which you are.

Even if your friend doesn't outright tell him your address he will be able to find out fairly easily now with them in contact.

Tbh if it was me I would be moving, cutting all ties with friend and explaining clearly why and making sure police knew exactly what was going on.

Unfortunately, women like that are often so far gone that anything you say to her you cannot trust her not to pass onto him.

they sound like a right pair of losers, i would steer well clear. who wants to be associated with a convicted killer anyway, directly or indirectly?

Run. No-one needs that in their life.

She has put her relationship with him above your safety. This alone should mean you walk away. She isn't currently acting in your best interest, so can't be trusted to do so in future.

Call the Police, and get far, far away.

has he made a direct threat to you? If not I cant see the police being particularly interested.

Regardless, I would distance myself from this woman, I wouldn't have time for anyone who doesn't see an issue with being friendly with someone convicted of manslaughter of a friend. This will also take you off her ex's radar.

Grimbles I was confused too! After reading through again I think it should read "my friend who lost his wife" (not life).

Agree with all the " run " posts,you don't need this in you and your childrens lives. She's putting him before your friendship with the possibility of putting you and your family in danger

The cheek to name you on the will but then chooses a convicted murderer

Run and don't look back and make sure you long any threat with the police

Oh, and just because she's named you in the will doesn't mean it's compulsory.

Backyard. . No wife has been lost. My friend lost his life - was murdered. .

I agree OP, you need to cut contact immediately and do whatever is needed to protect your family. If you're not able to move, the police may provide an alarm, if they believe you are at immediate risk.

Social services also need to know what's happening, so they can ensure your friend's children are safe.

I worked for Women's Aid for some years, one of the most difficult heartbreaking parts of the job was when women went back to very damaging relationships over and over again, often losing their children in the process. Friends and family are often the invisible victims, having worked very hard to support/help the woman only for it to be all undone as soon as the man turns back up again.

You can't trust her to keep your location secret, OP, I'm afraid. What's most likely to happen is if he blames you for some of the things that happened afterwards, she will turn against you too.

i think i would log any threats with the police and i'd block her number, email, fake book etc. you have to protect your family first and foremost.

Is he someone to be scared of?

I've mixed in circles of people who have been in fights etc and someone has died, also caught up with drug dealings etc, not every person convicted of Murder/Manslaughter etc is dangerous.

If he isn't, then spell it out to her, if he is back with her and she isn't keeping contact because she is scared of him, she may ask for help.

If he is, then phone your local Police number and make them aware of what is happening, he will still be following 'conditions' post release.

Is he someone to be scared of? Well it certainly sounds like it; the police installed panic alarms in her friend's house.

not every person convicted of Murder/Manslaughter etc is dangerous. Not worth the risk though, is it?

I appreciate that some of this is information you won't want to share (and probably shouldn't) but how much of a risk depends on some of these factors:
Whether the killing was part of a larger pattern of domestic abuse (eg irrational jealousy and he killed your male friend because he thought the man was having an affair with your female friend)
Whether the man has a long history of violent behaviour/is still making threats.
Whether he has been (or is at least claiming to have been) rehabilitated in prison.

People can be convicted of manslaughter for doing things that were recklessly stupid as well as intentional assaults, and some such people feel genuine guilt and remorse, and will never again endanger anyone. Does your female friend have a religious or ethical worldview that favours forgiveness?

""Is he someone to be scared of? Well it certainly sounds like it; the police installed panic alarms in her friend's house.""

That could have been for retaliation attacks.

Run like the wind.

Are her kids safe? Would ss be happy with him being back in their lives?