To feel really fed up today (two weeks pp)

[LittleCharmer]

I had my little DD2 nearly two weeks ago, by elective c section. She's beautiful and we are so, so lucky to have her.

But omg, I had forgotten how rough the weeks following childbirth can be.

Following a night of very little sleep (as the baby is nocturnal apparently) so far this morning i have:

• Blocked the toilet with a gigantic black poo (I'm on iron tablets and they're messing me up in that regard ) I then sobbed on DH with shame. He suggested bleach and hot water and it worked, thank god. How could I possibly look the plumber in the eye..?

• Bled through yet another pair of pyjama bottoms because post partum bleeding has made another stealth return, when I was so sure it was finished. The big pads have given me thrush and I just want it to stop

• Fallen out with DH over my refusal to wear compression stockings today because I just can't bloody take them any more

• knocked over a full cup of coffee onto the living room carpet, breaking the mug in the process

• left the lid off the steam steriliser, thus having to resterilise all the bottles. Minor but annoying.

I am sore. I am tired. I have not a single outfit to wear. My stomach is rectangular in shape. The house is a bomb site and I just know the fucking health visitor will choose today to turn up and judge.

AIBU to have taken a handful of painkillers (within the recommended dose before anyone becomes alarmed) and retired to bed for a cry?? I have left DD2 with utterly capable DH and DD1 is in nursery.

Absolutely not! You should be in bed for the rest of the day at the very least.

Bless you. It's bloody hard work and if your DH is capable, then leave her with him and get some rest.

I blocked the toilet with my poop after leaving hospital following a EMCS

First few weeks are horrible. Feeling on the brink of death but having to look after someone else is hard. On top of this you have to deal with hormones, bleeding and lack of sleep.
Oh the baby blues. I thought I would never stop crying.

As you know it gets better (otherwise you wouldn't be on DC2!).

Take time to relax and let DP take the stress for an hour or so. You need to rest as I assume DP will be back at work soon and then the real 'fun' starts!

You are perfectly OK to have a bit of a cry and rest and all you want. You are a good Mum who is doing her best.
Why would you feel the need for a perfectly clean house? The house is a mess because you have two kids, you just had a c-section so not exactly in shape to polish the best silver for visitors.
And yeah, I still remember when I had to do the number 2 after the c-section. The pain is unimaginable.

I rarely got out of bed pp. I just really tried to recover and chill. That's my coping mechanism. After having two kids 20 months apart I slowly realised how much I could cope with and tried to just do that and nothing more, I found it valuable to know my limits. I'm cannot do it all and it was good to admit that.

In the early days just managing a shower was good enough for me.

Take it easy.

Thank you.

I feel like everyone is expecting me to be normal by now. I don't feel normal. I feel like I'm just about holding it together. DH is great but he just doesn't get it.

I'm also getting really fucked off with people texting me asking when they can come to visit.

YANBU . My DS2 is 2 and a half weeks old, I didn't have a C section and I'm still at the end of my tether! Had the same experience re the pp bleeding yesterday and didn't even notice, leaving a nice trail of blood spots down the hall . I was so sure it had finished! DS1 is 3 today, and instead of going on the day out we had planned, we're currently sitting on the sofa in pjs watching Go Jetters because I am too tired to exist. Going to send DH for McDonalds for lunch then try to get my act together to at least go out to soft play before MIL and my mum descend for birthday tea and ask what we've done all day . Then tomorrow when DS1 is back at nursery I'm spending the day in bed!

DH doesn't get it because a small human wasn't recently plucked from his body. He just has to empathize and do as he's asked.

Get yourself into bed with magazines and coffee. You should still be resting after the surgery.

Tell the wannabe visitors not yet, you're not ready.

In the Days of my mum you'd only have just been discharged from hospital at 10 days post natal!!
You've done absolutely the right thing in handing the baby over to dh-get all the rest you can to recover from the MAJOR SURGERY you had so recently. Sometimes I think the whole thing about "getting back to normal" and early hospital discharge has done us women a huge disservice. Even a straightforward vaginal birth is a huge thing for your body to go through, never mind a c-section.
Be kind to yourself

Just don't reply to their texts. God knows how I coped with seeing people. I was desperately ill (infection found who knew hallucinating wasn't part of a c-sec).

Can you not send out a generic text saying 'I know you are desperate to meet baby charmer, but trying to recover from a c-section is taking its time. I will let you know as soon as I'm up for visitors and baby charmer can't wait for cuddles'

Because you have just had a baby people do not seem to appreciate that an operation similar would have you on total bed rest for up to 6 weeks. People seem to lose their minds and forget about mum when there is a baby involved

I have just woken up for a mammoth nap and feel a lot better.

It is definitely true that the early discharge from hospital means that people expect more from you at a really early stage. My mum has been saying a lot that it's major surgery and people seem to forget that just because there is a baby involved.

Yeah I'm relaxed about family visiting because they fend for themselves and no one expects much from me, but I'm scunnered with friends who just don't understand. One girl who I barely see from one month to the next has plagued me with texts. Got one this morning asking if she can come over tonight. Um no......

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