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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To change my name by deed poll

16 replies

KittensMakeMeSmile · 25/07/2017 08:19

Say for example my name is Annabel (it's not, of course), but I'm known as Anna. I've been known as Anna since being old enough to express a preference. The majority of people don't even know that my 'legal' name is Annabel. However there are some organisations (e.g. in emails from the HR department at work) which insist on addressing me as Annabel as it's my 'legal' name. I hate this!

I have no problem with the name Annabel in principle. However I don't wish to be addressed by this name. I don't relate to this name at all - my name is Anna.

So, WIBU to change my name by deed poll to Anna so I never have to be addressed as Annabel again?

My DM may be upset by this (she loves the name Annabel) but I wouldn't tell her and see no reason why she'd ever find out.

OP posts:

Pengggwn · 25/07/2017 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShatnersWig · 25/07/2017 08:31

Are you married?

If not, and you change your name, when you got married (presumably with your mum in attendance) won't the registrar or vicar use your legal name, which will then be Anna?

CauliflowerSqueeze · 25/07/2017 08:32

Yes do it. Nobody should be saddled with a name they don't like or relate to.

You could tell your tossy HR department that you've decided to change your name to "Princess Spangle-Chutney" and you wish them to use this name in all future correspondence.

kaytee87 · 25/07/2017 08:33

shatners when we got married our minister asked whether we wanted our full names or shortened versions that we go by every day.

Penny4UrThoughts · 25/07/2017 08:34

Change your name legally to something ridiculous, then give hr the option to use Anna instead...

(not really, but it would be fun)

Glumglowworm · 25/07/2017 08:35

Do it

Although I do think HR are being picky for the sake of it. Lots of people are not known as their legal first name for a variety of reasons. It's not like you're asking them to address you as a silly nickname. Anna is a totally normal name

Original poster

KittensMakeMeSmile · 25/07/2017 08:44

ShatnersWig DP and I plan to get married next year. However if the registrar used my full name in the ceremony it would really upset me and probably spoil the ceremony for me. I realise that probably seems like an overreaction - but I'd want to use my chosen name!

OP posts:

sashh · 25/07/2017 08:49

I did it, using the free service.

I had a mixture of things, degree cert in shortened name passport in full name.

I dropped my middle name at the same time.

My shortened name is me, I don't feel anything else is me and I've lived with the shortened version for 30+ years.

Oh and I also had an unusual spelling, think Anahh-belle rather than Anabel (also not my name).

ItchyKondera · 25/07/2017 08:53

My husband is commonly known by his middle name, no idea why, some odd family tradition. Lets say his legal first name is Simon, and his middle name David, and he has always been called David.

When we got married, the registrar could use "David" in some parts but had to use his legal first name in some parts. the "do you Simon David Kondera take ItchyKondera to be your wife" part specifically.

Original poster

KittensMakeMeSmile · 25/07/2017 08:57

sashh what is the free service that you used? From what I read it seemed that you had to pay something like £36 for it to be officially recognised?

Itchy looks like I definitely need to do it before the wedding then!

OP posts:

EnidNextDoor · 25/07/2017 09:04

freedeedpoll.org.uk

EnidNextDoor · 25/07/2017 09:07

You just have to pay for a new passport and driving licence. I waited until they had both run out so I would have had to change them anyway, then there was no 'extra charge for me.

Original poster

KittensMakeMeSmile · 25/07/2017 10:06

Thanks for all the responses

I've decided that I'm going to go ahead with the deed poll!

OP posts:

agentdaisy · 25/07/2017 16:44

Good for you op. I'm sure your mum will understand, if you decide to tell her. If not she probably won't even notice when you get married as you've always been known as Anna.

My best friend had, in her words, an old fashioned, harsh, clunky name and always hated it. She'd gone by a shortened version from the moment she was old enough to express an opinion and refused to answer to her full name. Her original name was along the lines of (but not) Cornelia and she was known as Leah. When she turned 18 she legally changed her name to Leah, her mum was a little upset at first but she could see that my friend was really unhappy with her name and eventually came round.

sashh · 25/07/2017 18:32

Follow Enid's link.

You only have to pay if you want it 'enrolled' and an advert taking out - as I said the passport office were happy so I didn't bother.

user14809873 · 25/07/2017 19:28

Sorry to intrude on your post, this may be a silly question but I'll ask anyway....the free deedpoll....do you know if it's just for adults? I've done it for DD but she's not old enough to sign or decide so not sure it'll be ok?? I just want it changed before she starts her new school!

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