to ask for genuine advice

[narnia06]

Today I received a number of calls/texts from an unknown number. The messages became somewhat threatening, so I Googled the number when I got home, and it transpired that the person calling me was the dad of one of my daughter's school friends. Apparently, someone had reported concerns to the school about his child, and he had decided I was that person. I am not that person, but subsequent calls and messages from him make it clear that he believes I am. He is threatening me with injunctions and solicitors, with losing my job, and he claims that the head teacher of our school has told him it was me who made the report. I work in education and am fully aware that any disclosures are 100% confidential, so there is no way the head teacher would have given any names. His evidence seems to have boiled down to the fact that I was at school on Friday (when I imagine the allegations were made). I was at the school on that day as the school I work at broke up earlier and I was able to pick my child up from school for the first time this year. I feel that he is casting around for someone to blame for social services becoming involved with his family, but in doing so, he is threatening me and my child. I'm pretty shaken up by his threats and the nature of them, and concerned that he has both my number and my address. If anyone has experienced similar, please let me know.

I had an irate mother shouting at me on the doorstep for telling the school of my concerns for her self-harming daughter. The school had told her a parent had called them (!!) and she rightly guessed it was me.

I asked her to leave.

I would be calling the police on the non emergency number about this guy in your case though, he sounds awful.

Yep I would also contact non emergency police.

My first reaction was to message back saying it wasn't you but that if he makes contact with you again you will be going to the police but I suspect that would make it worse

I do partly wonder whether you should contact social services. He sounds like he has problems managing anger appropriately and this might be evidence that would be useful to their assessment of him

I wouldn't engage with him and would contact the police (101). Can you block the number?

Not experienced it but just hoping you're as ok as you can be. You sound, understandably, shaken.

Have you responded in any way?

If he's threatening you and has your address I would log it with 101 now and take texts to show police tomorrow if you can.

He sounds nasty and is not helping his cause any if SS are involved.

Also to add if you haven't responded then do not engage with him now, it'll add fuel to his fire.

Keep all texts and voicemails. Make notes on the calls and what he said, as soon as poss after each call.

That way you have evidence of what's happening.

I'd call the police (non emergency number of course). The man sounds out of control and I'd say that the sw and police need to know his state of mind so that they can be prepared when they deal with him.

It's horrible for you and my instinct is to ask the police /sw / school to tell this man forceibly that not only is his behaviour harassment, that he's so stupid he's got the wrong person anyway.

Ok, maybe not the 'so stupid' bit(!).
But as it isn't you they should make it clear that it isnt you rather than saying 'it's anonymous' etc, as he could continue to pursue you believing it's you unless they make it clear. Hopefully they would see the need to protect you from further harassment and threats.

Poor you

Keep all message and speak to the police.

Save all the texts and messages.
If someone contacts you more than twice with threatening messages you can have them done for harrasmemt.
Police need to be envolved and if they are threatening you and your daughter I would ring 999 not the non emergency police.
You don't know what type of nutter he is or if you will be safe on your beds. The police will take it seriously if you are afraid.

Call the police. Keep everything.

Let the head teacher know as well. This will all be relevant to the safeguarding case.

Would it be worth contacting the school, I know they've broken up but wonder if any office staff would be working ?

I'm not surprised you feel shaken up Op.

Keep all messages and contact non emergency police. The fact he is willing to completely jump to conclusions and make abusive threats after being reported to social services would lead me to believe that he is stupid and angry enough to act out.

I would also contact the school in case this has repercussions for your daughter.

As well as informing the police I would also be contacting the head teacher first thing tomorrow. There will probably be someone at school, if not you can probably make contact via the Governors.

I would be tempted to respond with "police informed of these mis-directed threats" but more knowledgeable people may disagree. How horrible for you.

Thank you. I am going to call 101 now, and will find a police station tomorrow to log the texts. So far, he has only threatened me with solicitors and injunctions.

First thing, report all of this to the police. Secondly, report all of this to the school. Third, if it were me, I would get my own solicitor to send them a warning letter that if they persist making these slanderous claims and threatening my family, YOU will be the one taking action against him. Don't let this bully run roughshod over you. Put him squarely in his place.

I have spoken to the police now. They have his number. Thank you for all your advice.

I'd also inform the school of his threats and that he has told you the school passed on your personal information, and ask for a reply from them.

I don't believe for a moment that the school passed on any information. I will inform them of his reaction though. Shame that he chooses to expend his energy on blaming/threatening though, rather than looking at the issues within his own family.