Mother not accepting vegetarianism after 30 years

[Happyhappyveggie]

I have been vegetarian for 30 years, since I was 13. My mother still can't accept it. My DP is also now a veggie but she refuses to accept that too and cooks meals with chicken in and gets offended if he doesn't eat it. It used to be funny but actually now it feels quite disrespectful. She always makes comments like 'well you were brought up a meat eater so I don't know why you can't eat it now'
This is 30 fucking years later.
Ainu to think it's now disrespectful? I feel like we are way beyond the point of me reminding her,

Oh how ridiculous :(

I'd stop going to hers for meals, eat out if you're seeing her & tell her why, such a waste of food too

Don't accept her meal invitations then. Sorted.

The 'you were brought up' thing - it smacks of still needing a bit of control. 'My decisions, the ones you originally lived under, take precedence'.

No they don't!

'Dinner - no thanks. You'll only deliberately cook meat to once again make your strange insecure point again about hating that we are vegetarian. It makes us feel a bit weird about you, so let's just go to a restaurant?'

My late mother was the same. She could not accept that I never liked red meat and served it every single time I visited ( stews , roast beef etc ). Eventually I stopped going as it was so stressful and my children were getting upset because she went on and on that there was " something wrong with me".

Do you still live with your mum and she cooks all your meals?

Otherwise, why are you still going round there for meals when you know a 30 year old issue is going to rear it's head?

Your mum is wrong (oh, so very wrong) and you are right. But really, after 30 years of wrongness, are you really hoping she's going to wake up one morning and say "Eureka! I have seen the light!" and nip off down to Sainsbury's for some tofu/quorn/watevs??

It's never going to happen.

I am sitting here dumbfounded that any mother could still be harassing her child over ANY issue for 30 years, never mind something so innocuous as being a vegetarian. I would absolutely refuse to ever eat at her home again. The time has come for you to refuse to be treated like this, and allowing her to be so disrespectful to your partner is not good for your relationship.

Yiu should ask her to wipe your bum too you also used to wear nappies

If she's not accepted it after 30 years, I don't think there's much chance she is going to now. It is what it is. So you can either continue to let it bother you, or just don't plan on eating meals there. She is unlikely to change. Let her be offended when you produce your own food to eat there, but I don't think there's much point to expecting her to change. You are right. It is disrespectful.

My now thankfully exMIL was like this. Despite being told a thousand times that I was a vegetarian,she would always present me with some meat-laden meal when we went to dinner. When I would say,yet again,that I didn't eat pork chops/lamb casserole/sausages,she would roll her eyes and say 'Oh yes,I'd forgotten that you're such a fussy eater'.

God it's pathetic. I wouldn't go round there for a meal ever again. I'd really struggle to have a relationship with someone who was so wilfully unaccepting of me. It would make me want to keep my distance.