OK long story short I am a single Mum following divorce, low income despite working. I suffer from awful anxiety but haven't been given treatment because I have a B12 condition and they have always linked it to that and I have b12 injections.
My parents are now comfortably off after years of struggling and because Dad won't travel my Mum pays for me and the kids to come so she has someone to come with. I'm massively grateful as we wouldn't get a holiday otherwise.
Initially we went abroad then my anxiety became so bad that I couldn't do the journey and it ruined my entire holiday so we started to do the Channel Islands. This was better but still bad. Coming back last year I had a massive panic attack on the plane. Seriously if I could have clawed my way off I would have.
I vowed not to fly until I had my anxiety under control.
However fast forward to this year and my Mum really wanted to go to our favourite place in Europe. She has been really unwell and is aware it could be the last time she is well enough to go so I felt I couldn't say no.
However I am now really suffering. I have been having panic attacks for weeks. I now have to stir the hornets nest with the children's father for permission to go who they don't see but it's still not a good thing.
I feel awful but honestly at the moment I cannot imagine how I can even get on the plane.
Aibu to consider backing out, I know they will lose money but I'm really struggling. :(