AIBU to charge DS (18) to collect bag

[rightsofwomen]

Back from holiday yesterday.
DS (18) left his bag in the airport.
Thankfully it's been handed in.
To collect it, it's a 90 min round trip, so my time, the fuel, the £10 admin fee plus £3.50 for parking for less than 30 mins.

Would you charge your child for this? A token amount?

He has just finished his A levels, worked p/t until Easter and will start work again this week before going to university.

I'm annoyed with him, but have to admit it is just the sort of thing I do.

In light of your 14.33 post I wouldn't charge him at all!! You've clearly set a terrible example for being tuned in when travelling. I have a friend like you and it is incredibly frustrating having to help her put right her carelessness!

Sorry, 14.52 post

He's 18 years old. I agree with those saying that at 18 years, he's an adult on paper but will still make plenty of mistakes.
I wouldn't charge him. People make mistakes, sometimes really very silly one. If this were you and a friend were helping you, would you be OK with them charging you?

rights - I guess a day off is out of the question? I get the frustration, but given that this is the last summer together before he leaves home, I would cut some slack. It's more of a precious time, I think, than many parents realise. Quite a lot changes when kids leave home. Coming back is never quite the same again.

No. He's your son, give the boy a break.

If it's not important, could ILs pick it up & you collect from there next time you visit?

I wouldn't charge anyone for making that kind of mistake!

Of course not!! He's your SON regardless of his age!

I would charge at all - I mean you were there as well and failed to check that everything was put in the car, he forgot it helping you put another dc in a car seat - it could just as easily have been your bag that was left behind

I think the tenner is fair enough but perhaps not the rest of it - maybe if the parking is really extortionate.

He should definitely be cooking tea that night though after all that driving for you!

Wow...that's turned full circle. No need to call me an asshole kimmy.

He's generally pretty good with his possessions. He learnt pretty early on in secondary school that he would have to replace kit that was lost through carelessness.

It's about entitlement really. I do do a great deal of driving around for him. Of course I know that's my job as his Mother, but there have been times when he has been very flakey with his plans, last minutes changes, being cross with me when he's had to wait, or comparing me to his peers.

diddl the bag has pretty much ALL his summer clothes and his most precious wireless speaker thingy.

Oh I feel sorry for him but I HATE driving to airports. Depending on the airport I'd drive him to one train stop away then park up and read a book while he popped to the airport and back.

What you're saying is a bit confusing and to be honest I don't really know why you've posted.

On the one hand - it sounds like this is one of those things he will rack up to experience. In fairness, I had assumed he'd left the bag in the airport, whereas in fact it sounds like lots of bags were collected very quickly from outside arrivals and that if he didn't check it's because he was helping settle his sister. You also neglected to check and freely admit that you have a litany of travelling disasters. Yours, to be honest, sound way more careless.

On the other hand, then you start banging on about entitlement (mumsnet's fave buzzword). Your son sounds annoying but no worse than most 18 year olds. I'm not really sure what the relevance is.

I think it's a red herring and that really you're just resentful of your ex and now you're scraping the barrel trying to get wound up at your son.

Take him to the airport, and I think you should pay the fee as you failed to check all to the bags were in while he helped strap in his sister.

Don't take it out on your son. He sounds a bit scatty but nothing to worry about.

I’d drive him to the airport and wait in the car while he popped into get it (and paid the admin fee!). Then homeward bound. Unless we had lots of time in which case I’d park up and get a coffee somewhere to watch the planes for a bit!

naps : On the other hand, then you start banging on about entitlement (mumsnet's fave buzzword). Your son sounds annoying but no worse than most 18 year olds. I'm not really sure what the relevance is.

Another poster asked whether he was ungrateful for things, so it was in response to that.

I think it's a red herring and that really you're just resentful of your ex and now you're scraping the barrel trying to get wound up at your son. This is quite possible and maybe why I posted. To get perspective.

if he was helping buckle in and generally helpful, maybe not charge. I was going to say charge but changed my mind

I wouldn't charge him. He sounds like a lovely lad and it was an honest mistake.

Neither of you checked that all of the bags were in the cab, and you admit that it is the sort of thing you could have easily done too, with your travelling disasters.

Those who said he's an adult and should be able to remember his own bag - well in theory yes he should. However, I recently travelled home from a very small European airport. On that one flight, there was an adult passenger who failed to collect her handbag from the end of the conveyor belt after it had gone through the scanner and had security scouring the waiting area trying to reunite the bag with it's owner, closely followed by another adult passenger who left her suitcase in the gate area and had to get off the plane after everyone was loaded to go and retrieve it. I could see the airport staff rolling their eyes at these incompetent Brits and probably regretting the day they had allowed this new route from UK to use their airport!

Charge him?! I can't believe you would even consider it.

Don't charge him, but make him pay for any costs.

We're back. He paid the tenner admin and I paid for the car park. All sorted out and he won't do it again.

....and now can you tell me how to get rid of the smell of burnt soup? He forgot about his lunch and it boiled dry.