To let DD listen to music in bed? PLEASE advise?

[MrsOverTheRoad]

For context, she's 9...she's bright, happy...popular at school etc so no worries there but she's always had issues with bedtime.

She seems to HATE being alone. She says she's scared and to be fair, she's never liked the dark.

She has dim lights...not bright enough to keep her awake etc...but she can't cope with being alone and always wants me or DH to sit by her bed.

Well that's a frigging NIGHTMARE>

I want an evening!

If we refuse, then she sobs....gets very upset.

So to try to make our lives easier, one of us sits by her bed till she's fallen asleep and it can take over an hour

I sit there SEETHING with resentment because she's NINE! It's been years now!

I just asked her if she could sleep alone with some low music on...she said she thought she could and said that she'd like Christmas music

Shall I try it? What else can I do?

She's reasonable in every other aspect of her life...she's well behaved, eats healthily....gets TONNES of excerise daily...I feel like banging my head against a wall at times.

It's 8.00pm here in Oz and she's cleaning her teeth now.

Both of mine go to sleep listening to music or an audio book. Have done since they are about 3. I'd definitely try it!

do it. absolutely no harm in background music.

Yes that sounds fine. It's probably because the first time you gave into her and sat by her bed, you started a trend. My parents went through this with me and in the end they just left me. For a few nights bedtime was awful but then I became a star sleeper. I was afraid of being alone and of the dark too. Give music a try. You can't keep sitting by her bed, as you say, she's 9, it needs to stop some day, so why not start now?

I had books on tape from when I was tiny - had a fisher price plastic cassette player from about age 3-4. Now I sleep with a Harry Potter audiobook or Radio 4 comedy if sleeping alone (if me or DH are away). Put it on a sleep timer, helps to focus on something that isn't actively trying to sleep. Might be worth a shot, especially if she likes to be read to (or did when she was little).

Just let her. Mine always,used,audio books when they couldn't sleep. I hate sleeping alone and have the news channel on all night if DP is,away

Also as PP's say. Audiobooks were great for me. I used to listen to Harry Potter, Mallory towers etc

I always go to sleep listening to the radio, I think many people do. Why not?

Yes my 9 year old has a CD player in her room and as long as it's quiet I let her listen at bedtime. She reads and listens and eventually falls asleep

How early does she have to be awake? 8pm is pretty early compared to my kids at that age and their peers. 8:30pm/9pm is more common here.

Why don't you also give sleep meditations for children a go? Just type that phrase into youtube and there are loads of them for different ages.

it could help her relax, take her mind off her fears and maybe fall asleep a bit quicker?

I had music when I was younger, either through headphones or a cd player because I hated the dark. I used to sing along (very badly). My poor parents and sister.

Baby it was bloody DH who started sitting there! He worked away for 3 months when DD was 12 months...and when he got back he'd gone soft! He felt so guilty that he gave in to every demand.

Eyebrows I get her to clean teeth at 8 because she faffs around so much it' takes half an hour to get her INTO bed! then she reads for half an hour... dh sitting by her bed "lights out" is at 9.

sock I tried them a while ago and what came up was awful...very childish...too babyish for her.

DD has had a CD player for bedtime since she was 1. Back then it was Iggle Piggle, then nursery rhymes, then Peppa Pig.

Now she's 9 she uses my old iPhone to play music to go to sleep with.

I always listened to story teller tapes when I was little. It is a fab way to go to sleep, as is music. I wouldn't worry, just try it

Definitely let her listen to music in bed! DD always goes to bed listening to either music or audiobooks, its a really nice way to fall asleep and helps ease the bedtime anxiety.

My two have always listened to music. For YEARS it was The Lion King soundtrack which transitioned to the Frozen soundtrack. They've now got a digital radio in their room and alternate between Classic FM, Smooth and if I don't keep an eye on things Clyde FM (which doesn't get played on a Saturday because it goes all techno and they don't like that). They are 11 and 8. I keep it on till I go to bed. It REALLY helps the sleep process.

She needs to re learn that beds a lovely cosy safe place to be and not scary at all. If listening to xmas music helps then great! Just try it and see. Nothing to loose. I had some of those audio books for my dd but they kept her awake for hours as she would get engrossed in the story and want to hear the end! At the moment though the aim needs to just get her secure and feeling safe in bed on her own. If she's happy listening to stories/music that's great. You can work on how long she can listen to it later!

How about ASMR videos on YouTube?

I listen to them very frequently, as I get ASMR and the videos are incredibly relaxing

What's ASMR?

I had a radio in my room from when I was 8 and still leave it on all night when dh is away and won't give out about the dance music at 3am! Definitely let her, what harm can it do.

When my dd was a baby her grandma used to play the piano to her a lot. We made a tape of all her favorites, and she had that as a "sleep tape" 21 years later she has the same music on her phone for when she can't sleep, and her younger brother has the same. Mostly Bach.

My DSD is 7 and has an audio book nearly every night. Her reading and vocabulary have improved, she can sleep alone with the light of all night now. She had to have someone with her before, would cry, wake up through the night.

I'd go for it either music or an audio book. DSD would just sing all night with music lol. Thinking about it from about 3 I had my own audio devices starting with fisher price dis player lol. I've always had music or audio books or tv to sleep with.

I have to listen to radio or read to get to sleep.

As she's 9, would she maybe consider some childish radio comedy?

So there are some excellent comedy radio series that are gentle, and silly, not "adult" at all.

But if she wants low music I don't see why not.

We all have different ways of getting to sleep, I actually think it's really unfair to expect kids to just switch off when the light goes out, like a robot with an off switch.
As adults we often choose to listen to things, or read in bed to get to sleep, why we expect kids to just magically go to sleep is beyond me tbh.

Oh yeah, second audiobooks as well.

I have an Audible account (Amazon) and have tons of audiobooks.