AIBU not to apply for jobs because I can't cope with rejection?

[justwanttodriveanddrive]

It's a bit silly I know.

Have been doing temporary work for a while now and applying for permanent jobs is getting harder and harder as they clearly wonder (but don't ask) why I'm in temporary positions.

I just find it so hard to cope with hours of applications, preparing for interview, losing money when i take a day off work for interview then at the end a brusque phone call.

It has a really negative effect on me psychologically and I find myself feeling so low after rejections.

This could be me, and people saying "grow up" are a clueless.

Getting a PhD appears to have made me unemployable for non-academic jobs (and if my c.v was non-academic, it would be very thin, so I don't know what to do about that ...), but academic jobs are scarce.

My temporary contract is ending. I dread having to claim JSA (or more likely for me, ESA again).

I've done (some) volunteering, but cannot continue to work for free.

I am also disabled, and this makes finding a job so much more difficult due to discrimination (it's v. real) and assumptions about what I won't be able to do.

It is mentally exhausting. I'm in a slump, getting out of bed at 10 am, pretending to work on my 'papers'. Walking the dogs seems an accomplishment at the moment. This never used to be, but the whole experience has massively knocked my confidence.

Then you risk sounding "whiny", and along come the people who seem to think things are straightforward.

Starting my own business might be the way to go. I dunno.

Cliches are manifestly unhelpful. I dunno how to sort out the psychological stuff (can't take anti d's - have odd physical reaction). Hanging in there for now.

When people say the gave up trying to find a job and now work for themselves...what kind of stuff do you do?
And yes OP, it's a depressing place to be - good luck!

No one is saying it is easy, or that they are unsympathetic to people who can't find work, but not to bother trying because the process isn't enjoyable, that is pathetic, and that is what people are saying "grow up" to

It's not pathetic if you feel absolutely crushed, and perhaps, experiencing mental health difficulties that have been triggered, or made worse by, numerous rejections. At that point, some of us need help before we can 'pick ourselves up' and continue the process.

I'm fortunate in many ways: I'll be supported by my partner when my contract expires, but I don't want to get into that dynamic for my own mental health.

JSA sounds horrific, and I would rather go without than endure the ridiculous rules. But then, I'm more suited to ESA (got out of the support group and worried I'll be taking a gigantic step back to reapply having been able to do something).

I cannot prove my disability is a barrier, but it feels like it is: employer's don't want the expense/difficulty of sourcing equipment that will enable me to do a job even though I'm just as good as anyone else.

I considered myself to be a very resilient person until of late. The barriers for people like me seem very, very difficult to overcome (employment statistics are grim).

We're somehow expected to bound out of bed every day looking for work. Well, I'm at the point where I'm likely to need help with my mental health again? And where's that? A six month wait (minimum) for CBT (partly effective in my case). That's it.

I simply have little left to give. It's a bit deeper than "not finding the process enjoyable" - I don't have it in me to keep continuing right now in the face of what seem to be inevitable rejections.

Been there OP after being made redundant and multiple rejections in a row. It is emotionally draining, and normal to feel you just want to give up, but you need to keep going to every interview with the enthusiasm of the first one, but the experience of the rest.

Have you had any feedback from previous interviews you can work with? If they say there was someone "Better suited" you need to ask what qualities they had that made them better suited, and if you think you have those qualities, think how you have portrayed yourself that they thought you didn't. If possible get feedback by speaking directly to the interviewer rather than your agency, don't get defensive but do ask probing questions if you can. Are you going for roles you aren't ready for yet?