To be really exasperated at DH's hoarding?

[BishopBrennansArse]

I get that recycling and repurposing things is good, I really do. We recycle all recyclables, batteries etc and compost garden and veg waste.

But old, split chopping boards? Cables with the end plugs snapped off? Broken routers?

Ice cream tubs yes can use for storage and kids to bring school cooking home. Good. Plant pots - great for seedlings.

But it's all getting a bit Mr Trebus in here and I'm feeling like we're being buried

Broken glasses.... what would they be handy for?

Stick it up your chuff!! Oh how i loved mr trebus. Just chuck it all out when he's not in. I bet he won't even notice!

I have one too - the garage is full of broken stuff that he won't get rid of. Every so often I surreptitiously fill my car with some of it and head to the recycling tip.

He hasn't missed anything yet!

Do you think it's true hoarding? I'm afraid it is VERY, VERY hard for a hoarder to change and it's miserable to live with.

He's got a huge shed. 8ft by 12. Full. So we rented a garage. Full. So he's started filling the house.

I can't keep up with it, am disabled so have a cleaner. This morning though have managed to get rid of chopping boards, 6 old oven gloves and the broken glasses. Hope he doesn't see them in the bin and rescue them...

Oh Bishop, you poor sod

What does he have to say (APART from the endless "it'll be HANDY" mantra). Does he have any notion of this being problematic?

None whatsoever.
We might need that.
Might be handy for something.
Could make something out of it a mess

Your DH is an amateur.

My poor friend has a DH who has a masterclass in hoarding. They have:

2 sheds in the garden both rammed with stuff including 17 bikes.

4 garages all rammed with stuff.
Around 9/10 vehicles - 4 in use, the rest bought with the intention of doing up and selling on - all now taking up valuable parking space in our tiny street
His mum's house is also full of stuff belonging to him.
Their own house is full of boxes of stuff.

It would drive me insane. Recently he hired a skip and is making a concerted effort to clear the garden and sheds at least. I suspect that as soon as there is space in the sheds that he will fill them with stuff from one of the garages and then start filling the garages again.

It's worse when you're not physically up to tackling the mess, isn't it? You're just stuck there looking at it.

Sounds like he is tipping into true hoarding. You need to address this slowly but for now make a line in the sand that due to your disability and the health and safety aspects of having to leave in an emergency, and prevent accidents, the house must remain clear. You do not allow one piece of junk in or it will be a magnet for more. Get your cleaner on board for a few extra hours and get the lot gone to the tip where he can't rescue it.

Before I was this disabled I used to do a once a month tip run to get rid of it. I'm not able to do it now and it's frightening how fast it's building up.

Stuff breaks, it goes in the bin immediately. Don't allow him to say it'll come in handy. Remind him how dangerous it is to have clutter on the floors. This would drive me crazy. I've even removed the coffee table in the lounge because it just attracts clutter.

I am a hoarder, I really don't want to be but I just can't help it.

How about suggesting spending a day sorting out one room together? Take it one step at a time and don't pressure him to throw everything out.

Funnily enough my sister is a hoarder too and I find it easier to help her throw stuff of hers out (although sometimes a few bits end up coming home with me )

It's more than just chucking stuff out behind his back. Filling two external buildings already is not ok.

It might be worth him going to talk to someone about why he needs to keep all of that junk. The behaviour won't change without some intervention, and you'll be perpetually trying to keep up.

Does he mind that the garage and shed are unusable? Does his mind that the house is becoming an extra storage place? It's miserable for you to have to live with, and it will need addressing seriously.

I found that if I removed the storage, then stuff couldn't be put anywhere, so had to be rehoused.

Took a lot of work to get to that point.

I now have friends who whizz past and collect piles from next to my car , and take to the tip/charity shop for me, before he sees. He had a habit of 'rescuing ' things too...