To be a bit perplexed by lady at the supermarket today

[Bobbybobbins]

So I was at the checkout and my DS was asleep in his pushchair. I had all the shopping in the basket under the chair, was crouching down to load onto the conveyor belt. A lady comes over (walks a fair distance to the checkout I am at) to tell me that my jeans are low at the back and she can see my bottom!

They were a little low - I wear a long top with these jeans as they are too loose but obviously as I was crouching down, a little too much was on view!

It just puzzles me that she would feel so strongly about it that she would walk over to tell me. Would she have said it to a big bloke?

My gym instructor once quietly pointed out a girls racer back top was back to front . She had both bra cups hanging out on either side

Gosh o don't know. When you've had a baby and you think you can wear your old clothes but the don't fit right and all the bending up and down makes your trousers ride down....been there and only care in that I wish I looked better. Don't care in the moment in terms of how I look to other people so I think I'd have laughed at her slabs said 'it's the least of my problems but maybe you could mind the baby so I could go and redress my new body shape'.

A bit of unintentional ass crack, so what.

Was your arse hanging out when you bent over? It's not a good look.

A million things are not a good look but who cares. Doesn't mean it merits a word from a stranger.

Maybe I wouldn't say anything but come on, grocery shopping, none of us wants to see bits hanging out, male or female. Save it for the beach.

Was there a tone?...I would want to know the context.
Clearly she felt you needed to preserve your modesty.

A million things are not a good look but who cares. Doesn't mean it merits a word from a stranger.

Someone coming over to mention you're showing the world your arse doesn't always have to be a judgement call and I think being snarky to someone for trying to do something nice is actually the ruder action.

It's one thing if someone is clearly just coming to "mention" something with a rude tone/judgey comment, but if someone approached me and was trying to be discreet and purely informative of the situation, without any kind of judgement or tone, I would take it in the helpful way it was intended.

YANBU op.

It makes presumptions that a tiny bit of exposed flesh is "mortifying" and "shaming" for the person involved (and will make watching men want to rape and teenage boys snigger, yeah?)

I worked on-off in retail for years. Newsflash: everybody generally just gets with their day.

The teenagers serving at the till just want to do their job and finish their shift. The older male shoppers want to buy their stuff and get home.

Possibly if someone is exceptionally good looking (male or female) they get s few admiring glances.

There are HUNDREDs of fashion/clothing things that look a bit "off" to other people in a "I wouldn't do that myself way"

I "personally" don't feel comfortable above a smaller dress size : I don't go around taking buns out of other people's trolleys and claim they "owe me gratitude" because I'm "helping"! It's basic manners to not be a busybody.

I'm a lecturer and often my students have their arses hanging out - with the boys I think it's A Thing, but girls it tends to be when they're sitting down and their jeans are low-waisted. The only time I have ever said anything was when I was walking up the stairs behind a girl I taught and the people at my level were sniggering because her skirt was super short, she was wearing a thong, and her whole bottom (no tights) was on display. If I hadn't known her pretty well, I would have left it. I do, however, always stop random people with skirts tucked into knickers, tights, whatever - often students at my place seem to get their skirts hoiked up at one side because of big bags with laptops, books etc.

It makes presumptions that a tiny bit of exposed flesh is "mortifying" and "shaming" for the person involved

No it doesn't. I am not mortified or shamed if people see my body, but equally I don't want to be showing it to the world in the middle of the supermarket because I haven't noticed that my jeans are riding low and I would be more embarrassed to continue without being told than to receive a quiet word of advice.

Equally if I mention to someone that their jumper is inside out or their skirt is tucked into their knickers it's not because I am mortified or wanting to shame them but because it is clearly a "wardrobe malfunction" that is both easily not noticed and easily corrected. I could say nothing but why is it a bad thing to go over and say "Excuse me, I don't know if you're aware but your skirt is tucked in and you might want to fix it."?

YANBU. When similar happened to me, with what sounds like a similar level of exposure (it may have been only pants as opposed to bum), I found it quite humiliating and, tbh, intrusive. I'd been aware the jeans weren't really working, and I didn't wear them again, and I didn't need a stranger going out of her way to come up to me and point it out.

Surely there is a difference between someone walking about with their skirt tucked in to their pants or a bit of loo roll stuck to their shoe and a bum being on show for a matter of seconds whilst the OP unloaded her shopping from her buggy basket?! The first examples are genuine embarrassing situations that everyone wants to avoid, the OP's scenario was due to circumstances that would alter the embarrasing situation automatically as soon as she stood up.

Similar thing happened to me at Windsor castle. I was on my mobility scooter and my jeans were not pulled up as much as they could have been. An American lady strides over to me and said "Ma'am you need to pull up your britches I can see your bottom" and promptly walked off.
I didn't know why to be mortified or laugh.

YANBU. I once had a woman interrupt me in the middle of dealing with my two overtired hungry kids, who were having a meltdown in an otherwise deserted street, to tell me I needed to pull my jeans up because my arse was showing. I had lost a bit of weight so they did keep slipping down a bit, but who on earth would think that was more important than sorting out a tantrumming toddler?

Yes - that's odd and frankly, stupid. Surely she could see you unloading stuff from near the floor, it's clear that any flashing is but temporary.

And if a man was staring at you, a day someone suggested, then she should have gone over to the man and not you!

The only person I ever dared to mention butt cleveage to, is my husband. (And that was also temporary band sing down).

Omg I don't know what at this autocorrect is doing.

Too tired!